Tag Archives: Living

So ……

…… Christmas was good.
Really good.
And though you might not believe it, most of the time you would’ve been hard pressed to know that there were 9 people, a baby and a puppy in the apartment!
In fact, there were a couple of times when one of us noted how quiet/empty the apartment was.
That’s NY for you, Baby!!!
So much to do and see that your apartment doesn’t get cramped.
🙂

All of the kids made it safely.
Son #3 had a slight hiccup with United Airlines and ended up spending in the night in the Dulles Airport. After which he informed me in no uncertain terms that he in now done with that airline.
I didn’t pay too much attention.
I couldn’t blame him, but I still didn’t pay much attention.

Which made him all the more happier when, on his way home, his flight out of here was delayed/cancelled because the pilot didn’t show up for his shift that day.
To that I have to say this: Karma is a bitch, man.
🙂

It all worked out in the end. After several hours the found someone else and he did end up making his connecting flight out of Chicago to Oklahoma, so all’s right with the world.
As long as I don’t book him on United ever, ever again.
I told him that as soon as he had enough cash to buy his own airline tickets he could buy whatever he wanted, but until then, I would continue to go with the best deal.
Then he said, “Fine, I’ll start buying my own.”
Which makes one (or maybe just me) ponder: Where does he think that money will come from? Will it float down from heaven? Will he sell even more plasma??
Oh well, it’s grand to be 20 and oh-so-wise-to-the-ways-of-the-world.

Little Bit did pretty well, for a three old that was totally out of his element. He was a bit fussy at times but he was also chatty and laughing a good deal of the time. He’s such a joy to hold and talk to, especially early in the morning, which seems to be his favorite time.

The kid is growing by leaps and bounds. I think there may have been some items I purchased a few weeks ago that he never got to wear because he’s suddenly busting out!!
But that gives me a good reason to go baby-clothes shopping, so whoop!!!!
He did a great job on the planes and gave his mama some stress-free flight time. I was happy for both of them.

Gracie is doing well and still has my heart wrapped around her little stump of a tail. Mostly.
I’ve got to find out out to train her to stop nipping at everyone with fingers. Especially her two year old friend that Daughter #3 takes care of. He LOVES Gracie and she loves him back with equal abandonment, but she just can’t control her “love bites”.
Help.

OK, I’m going to end this now so that I can go to bed. I’ll go ahead a publish it, but I’m hoping to come back to it and add pictures and stories in the next day or so.
So please ignore all typos.
Please.

Happy New Year, Peeps!

Why Do I Always Forget ……

3 Replies

…… that I don’t really care for this day?

I’m not sure if I’ve ever written about it. I certainly haven’t spent much time thinking about it. But yet when I look back, this day has traditionally been a difficult day to get through.
At least for the last 7 years.

I think it gets forgotten in the shadows of the December days. Maybe I’m always so focused on getting through those that I totally forget about this one.

It should be a good day. A day of hope. A day of new beginnings. A day of promises.
It should be.
That’s what I’m told.

Good Christians shouldn’t be depressed on New Year’s Day, right?
We should keep those sad thoughts out and focus on being positive.
And shame on us if we don’t.

So shame on me …… because I don’t.
And I’m not going to pretend otherwise.
Funny …… I think God understands.

Yes, my life is mostly good.
Yes, I am mostly happy.
Yes, all of my children are healthy.
Yes, I get to live in New York.
Yes, it’s been seven years since Jim died.
Yes, I know I’m not alone.

But loneliness can sneak its way in …… even when you’re not alone.
Even among a room full of people.
Sometimes especially in a room full of people.

Another year of being one.
Which isn’t always bad.
But many times feels that way.

Of course, it doesn’t help that this apartment went from the hustle and bustle of about 7 to 10 people, to just me and the puppy today.
The hardest part of all that …… was saying goodbye to Daughter #2 and Little Bit this morning.
It was the hardest because it was probably the last time I’ll see him. The last time I’ll hold him.
The last time I’ll see him break into a smile when he sees my face.
I hate good byes.

Daughter #2 still has more time with him. How much time is unknown, but probably not a lot. So I worry about her and my heart breaks for the good bye she’ll have to face.

When you love someone …… there will be pain.
But the depth and breadth of that love …… makes the pain worth it.
I would certainly do it all over again …… knowing the outcome would be the same.
And I have no doubt that Daughter #2 would do it all again. In fact, she will be doing it all again. Over and over, most likely.
She has an abundance of love to give.

It was very quiet around here today.
Too quiet.
So I decided to make myself get out and be distracted.
Which is difficult to do because it means leaving behind a screaming puppy.
And I do mean screaming.

It’s so much easier to just stay in and do nothing when I’m feeling depressed. And I struggled with it today. But I knew that I really had to get out of this apartment, or I’d just sit and cry all day thinking about the way things should’ve been.
And thinking about Jim’s birthday that’s coming up on Wednesday. And how he’ll never be a day older than 47.
Which makes me sad and pisses me off all at the same time.
Thankfully I’m flying to California that day so that’ll be somewhat of a distraction.

Oh, that reminds me …… I got distracted from telling you what my distraction was today.
I know you’re shocked.
I went to see “Into the Woods”.
I liked it very much.
I wish it could’ve ended 40 minutes earlier than it did …… but I still liked it.
Meryl Streep is a hoot.
I know you’re shocked again.

The movie helped.
I’m not feeling as down as I was.
I’m glad that I forced myself to get out.
Screaming puppy and all.
My neighbors? Probably not so much.

Hopefully I’ll remember ahead of time that this day just isn’t the greatest. And I’ll schedule some distractions in advance.

I may need a reminder to remember.
The trouble is …… most of my friends would need a reminder to remind me.
Sigh ……
🙂

Lights in the Dark ……

13 Replies

…… can light up anyone’s face.

Last night I went to Brooklyn with several women from the Manhattan Women’s Club (remember, not as fancy/snobby as it sounds, I promise). We went to look at Christmas lights in Dyker Heights. Don’t worry, I’d never heard of it either, but wow! Check it out here.

Here are some pictures:

One of the neat things about all of those lights, aside from the fact that I don’t have to pay those electric bills, is the look on people’s faces when they see each house. It’s like you can’t help but smile when you see the decorations and all of those lights.

Light dispels darkness in more ways than one.

And light comes in more ways than one.

Today my Facebook page has been a huge light on what could be a dark day.
So has my cell phone.
The comments and texts today have been so full of love and support that I’ve been speechless, which of course is no easy feat.

I hadn’t expected so many people to post on my page.
I hadn’t expected all of the loving and kind words.
I hadn’t expected so much light.

Seven years.
Seven sometimes-very-slow-years.
Seven sometimes-faster-than-the-speed-of-light-years.
Or so it seems.

Seven years that I never want to re-live.
Ever.

I’m thankful to be on this side of that valley.
The voyage out wasn’t pretty …… to put it mildly.
It was bloody, and messy and ugly.
It was horrible.
And it took a long time.
But it’s good to be out.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments.
I’ll always have moments.
And I’m ok with that.
Because moments are sure better than that valley.

So to all of you who gave me light today …… thank you. From the bottom of my heart …… thank you.
You helped make this day the easiest one yet.
I love you.
Each one of you.
More than I can say.

Thank you for filling my day with light.
And thank you for filling my heart with love.
I.
Am.
Blessed.
❤

Contrary to Popular Belief ……

12 Replies

…… for at least some people, the 7 (seven) year mark does not mean that I am all better.
That I am healed. That I am over the loss of the other half of me.
That tears do not come now.
That I no longer miss him.

When I think about that last non-friend who posted how I should no longer be mourning Jim, I want to scream. It didn’t affect me like that at the time. I just felt sorry for her.
But now, NOW it pisses me off.
Because who the the hell does she think she is, that she can tell me, ME, the one who had Jim ripped out of her life and her children’s lives, how I’m supposed to feel now. I’d like to punch her in the face right now.
Tonight.
And probably for the next few weeks.

This is the hard time.
Yes, it’s much easier here in NY. SO much easier. But that doesn’t mean that it’s painless. Because it’s not. I still miss him. And I still cry when I type that. Every damn time.

My life is good.
I am happy.
I’m content.
I feel joy.

But I also feel loss.
I feel the hole left in my heart.
I miss him more than I can say.

And I don’t expect that to ever change.
This time of the year will always bring joy and sorrow to my family.
It is what it is.

I loved him with all of my being.
I still love him.
I will always love him.

I never took him for granted.
I knew that I was blessed.
And, truthfully, I never thought for one second, that I deserved him.
I thanked God for him on a daily basis.

And though I didn’t feel worthy, God blessed me with him.

So …… when it comes to thinking of another love …… I doubt very much that that will happen.
Because I know I’m not worthy of two great loves in one life.
You may think differently, but that’s what’s ingrained into my brain. Into the very fiber of my being. I will never have another love as true and as wonderful as Jim.
And really …… I’m mostly ok with that. Because I had a love and a relationship that very few people have.
Which makes me sad. For those people.
But at least I had it.

I can’t expect it to happen again.
So I don’t.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t long for it to happen again.
But I guess I’m a realist. If I was so blessed to have it once, it’s not very likely that I’ll find it again.

Part of me is ok with that. I like doing what I want to do, when I want to do it. I like having all of the closet space. I like having a pretty clean garage.
I like my independence.

But I’d also like to have love and security in my life. The kind of security that comes from having someone who has your back, no matter what.
I miss that.
I miss holding his hand.
I miss falling asleep next to him.
I miss catching his eye from across a room, and feeling the warmth that came with that look.

I miss the family that we had.
Things would be so different if he were still here.
So much better.
But …… it is what it is.
So I try to make it better.
As much as I can.
I don’t have as much power as I wish I had.

So …… that’s all.
I’m happy.
And I’m sad.

I’m content.
And I wish I weren’t alone.

I have a great life.
But I wish I had love.

It is what it is.

Just as it is with everyone else in the world.

By The Light ……

12 Replies

…… of the silvery tree ……

OK, it’s not silvery, but then it’s not a moon, either.

I’m sitting in my dark living room …… which really isn’t dark because the lights on the Christmas tree are twinkling and dancing and preventing the room from really being dark.

I haven’t truly enjoyed sitting in the almost-dark, looking at the tree, for several years now.
But this year, I feel differently.

This was one of Jim’s favorite things about this time of year. After all of the kids were in bed, and after we had turned all of the lights out and were headed to bed, he’d ask me to come and sit in the living room with him …… to just sit and look at the tree …… and the lights.

I can’t see the lights, and not think of him.
I miss sitting on the sofa, his arm wrapped around me, my head on his shoulder.
I miss the silence that actually said so much.

But I’m thankful that I can now sit and enjoy the lights …… and the silence that still says so much.
It says different things now, but I can sit with it …… and be ok.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t miss him.
That doesn’t mean that I’m ok with him being dead.
It just means that I’m ok with enjoying things again …… and enjoying the memories of him.

It’s definitely easier to enjoy this time of year here in New York.
And for that I’m very, very grateful.
There are no memories here, except for the ones I’ve made in my “after”.
I hope that my children feel the same way.

This time of year is a bitch to go through.
In eleven days we’ll hit the seven year mark.
Which, as always, is unbelievable.
But it comes, whether we believe it or not.
Time is kind of relentless like that.

But it’s also nice to be able to sit with the memories.
Instead of being overwhelmed with them.
It’s nice to be able to smile with the remembering.
Instead of being wracked with sobs.

I hope that those of you who can …… will take the time to sit with your loved one …… and enjoy the lights on the tree. And the silence …… that says so much.

And I hope that those of you who can’t …… will be able to sit and enjoy the memories.
❤

I Know It’s Hard to Believe ……

20 Replies

…… but this little monster has gained a HUGE 9 ounces since I got her!!!

She went to the vet today to get her second set of shots and a check up. She’s doing great, if you don’t count the fact that she has a hernia that will have to be repaired.
I’m starting to doubt the professionalism of the “breeder”.

The positive thing is that we can fix that when we spay her at 5 months.
And when I say “we”, I mean the vet. While I feel that I could comfortably deliver a baby at any point in time, I do not have the skills to remove anything else from a body.
I’m using the royal we.
I don’t know why.

I have spent the better part of today putting together a Thanksgiving menu for our family of …… let me count …… ummmmmm, me, five of my kids, my parents, Daughter #3’s boyfriend (I know!), my brother and his two daughters and hopefully my sister in law.
What does that give us? 13?
Yeah, 13. Hopefully not the unlucky number most people pin on it.

So yeah, recipes. Yawn.
I think I’m pretty much sticking with anything Pioneer Woman makes.
Heart-clogging, creamy deliciousness.
For one day a year.

Except for the turkey.
For that main even I’m using a brine recipe that I saw on the Steve Harvey show.
Do NOT judge my tv viewing. I think that guy is a no-nonsense parent, a terrific husband who puts his wife first, and he says what he thinks and lets the chips fall where they may.
Having said that, I’m not a regular viewer, but the TV was on one day last week and when I walked into the room he had a guy on there fixing a turkey using Dadgum That’s Good Brine.
And that’s pretty much when I knew what I was doing to our turkey.
Bam!

After I found all of the recipes I wanted, made up a shopping list for everything (Oh. My. Word.),
took a shower, and got ready to leave for the grocery store …… I got to the garage and then thought better of it. I want the fresh stuff that I have to purchase to be fresh next Wednesday, so I decided to put the shopping trip off until Monday.
This may have been a terrible judgement call.
We shall see.

Speaking of taking a shower …… I happen to have a walk-in shower. Which means that there’s no door.
I have no problem with that and in fact, I happen to enjoy having one less glass door/shower curtain to clean.
But today, for the first time since I got her, Gracie showed what it’s like to have such a teensy brain.
She always follows me around. Always. And everywhere. It’s like having a two year old again, when you couldn’t even go to the bathroom without tiny fingers being stuck under the door and the wailing of the dying going on because of the 60-second separation.

Now, she usually just sits in the bathroom and waits on me to come out of the shower, but evidently she was feeling extra needy today because she just walked right into the shower. And I have to tell you that she’s not a water-lover. If she’s ever gotten close to the water in the shower, she’s backed off quickly.
But not today.
She marched right in, whining the whole time.
Do you know how difficult it is to take a shower while a tiny, 2 pound, 9 ounce, fur ball is circling your feet?
I’m totally going to have to get one of those necklaces so that I can call someone and say, “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up.”
She’s going to kill me.

On the bright side, it was a terrific way to get her bathed and now she smells just as wonderful as I do.
🙂

I tackled another project today, and I must say that I think I did a great job:

Yep, I put that together. Plus the glider ottoman that goes with it.
It’s going upstairs in the guest room, which will soon contain a white crib.
It had a white crib in it when I got home on Monday. Son #2 had put it together, but some of the slats had been pretty damaged in transit, so I took it apart, boxed it back up and hauled it downstairs for the UPS guy to pick up, which he did this morning.
I think the replacement crib will arrive Friday, so we’ll start all over.

Now you need to know that this crib (and various other baby stuff I got) is not just because of Little Bit.
It’s for any and all future Little Bits. Or Medium Bits.
The room looks really great, so I’ll have to keep that in mind the next time Son #3 comes home and lights into me for putting that stuff in “his” room.
And “light into me” is putting it mildly.

Oh well.
Such is the curse of a horrible mother.

OK, so I have a question. How big of a turkey should I get for 13 people? I’d appreciate any turkey advice you can give.
Most of the other dishes can be made the day before, which is exactly what I plan to do.

It is now time to rustle something up for dinner (See? I’m already sounding like the Pioneer Woman!).

Take it easy, Peeps, and if you have any terrific suggestions for Thanksgiving meals, bring ’em on!
🙂

Back to Sleeping ……

1 Reply

…… through the night.
Well, as through the night as I can with a tiny little puppy who has a bladder the size of a dime.

I’m happy to say that the visit with Little Bit’s mother went very well. She’s very grateful and appreciative of all of the love Daughter #2 has been showering upon him. It sounds like she’s working very hard to be the mom he deserves when the time comes.
And that’s a very good thing.

I’m not gonna lie.
It will be harder than hell to say good bye to him …… to know that we’ll most likely never see him again.
There will be grief.
But there will also be joy that he’ll be where he’s supposed to be.
And I’m sure it won’t be long before D#2 will have her hands full with another foster child.
Have I told you lately that I think she’s amazing?
Because she totally is.

Today I went to see my rheumatologist. I can’t remember if I mentioned this or not, but when I last saw him 3 months ago, he put me on Plaquenil, which is for the prevention and treatment of malaria.
Lucky me …… I’m killing two birds with one pill. Hopefully easing the pain of whatever inflammatory disease is racking my body …… AND thumbing my nose at any mosquitoes in the area!

Well, to my utter surprise, the med has indeed helped with the pain. I would say that it’s at least 50% better. Which is a two-fold success. First, and most obvious, it’s nice to be in less pain 24/7. And secondly, it proves that there is indeed some kind of inflammatory crap inside my body so I’m not insane.
Well, at least not about that.

So we continue this plan of attack, and by we, I mean me. I don’t think he’s taking this med.
I see him again in 3 months, and as long as all goes well (he thinks that the improvement will grow beyond 50%) and I don’t have any problems with my eyes (a big bad side effect), we’ll continue on this path.
So yay for that.
Less pain is always something I’ll cheer for.

Gracie is getting used to being back at the house. She still follows me every where, which can be a huge pain.
For her.
She’s so very easy to step on!
And even though I think she’s a wee bit insane, I really love having her around. She is just a bouncing bundle of joy and love.
She definitely has a Napoleon complex and has no idea that she’s the size of an average guinea pig.
We’re currently working on litter training, “sit”, and “no biting”. She’s doing pretty well.
We’re also working on trying to keep her tiny body warm.
She’s less than thrilled:

Speaking of animals, before I arrived home I received a phone call from the guy who does my landscaping and was told that a group of wild hogs is going nuts in my neighborhood. And …… they decided to take out all of the small pine trees that we had planted several months ago.
T.A.N.W.
Except I’m joining the NRA and going hog hunting.

So I have to replace some trees.
Stupid pigs.

Wild animals hate me.
And the feeling is starting to be very mutual.

That’s it for now.
I still haven’t caught up on my sleep, even though I’ve heard that’s not possible.
I’m still going to give it the ol’ college try.
I’m tired of being wiped out before 9:00 p.m.
While I agree that I’m old …… I’m not THAT old!!

Oh, and the Heart Walk went extremely well!! The Humble ISD won second place in fundraising!!
It was a beautiful day for walking 3 miles and it was over way too soon. I’m looking forward to doing it again next year. Thank you to all of you who donated!
This is the picture you see when you enter “Jim’s building”:

And this is the Eggers Team. We rocked!

Before I go I want to thank all of you who commented here and on Face Book after my last post about D#2.
Thank you for the lovely things you said about me and my mothering.
You know, when you’re told you’re horrible enough times …… you start to believe it.
So the kind and loving comments made me cry.
And still do.
I miss the person who always had my back …… who always made me feel wonderful, loved and supported.
Life is very different when that goes away.

So thank you again.
I appreciate your kindness.
More than I can say.
🙂

Grab A Tissue ……

10 Replies

…… or two, and don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I’m trying very, very hard to not cry while I type this, but I’m not succeeding too well.
It is what it is.

Tomorrow I’m hitching a ride back to Houston with Daughter #2, Little Bit, and her case worker. They’re taking Little Bit to go see his mother.
And while I know that D2 is at peace with this, I also know that the thought of this makes her stomach lurch a bit.

(These are the cutest booties ever!! I bought them at Target and hope he can wear them at Christmas.)

I won’t be there for the meeting …… Son #2 is meeting us beforehand to take me home. I wish I could be there for D2. I wish I could hold her hand or at least keep a hand on her back during this meeting.

But I can’t.
She’s an adult and this is her life. I can only watch from the outside, and help when I can. And when I’m allowed.

.
(This is Gracie, lying down with Little Bit.)

It’s been a very nice, very peaceful week. Little Bit and I have hung out pretty much non-stop every day, until “Mama” comes home from work and then needs a baby-fix.

This little boy is so very, very blessed.
As is she.

I’ve been watching her a lot this week. There have been a couple of times when we’ve banged heads a little. Not so much banged, as maybe clunked.
All I can do is suggest things, tell her what I’ve found that has worked. It’s up to her to either take that advice, or go her own way.
She tends to go her own way.
And while that can be very frustrating, it also makes me very proud of her.
She’s doing this her way.

And I have to tell you, she is the best mother I’ve ever seen.
Hands down.
I wish I could take credit for that, but I know I can’t.
I only wish that I had been half as good as she is.

(Little Bit’s wonderful tummy during bath time.)

In my opinion, the main reason that she’s so very good at this …… is that she knows, without a doubt, that she has this child for only a brief moment. So she loves the hell out of him.
She holds him, talks to him, spends all of her extra time with him.
The house be damned, the laundry be damned, outside activities be damned.

She’s right there. With him.
Loving him, talking to him, teaching him how to trust.

I am so very proud of her.
And I know that Jim is/would be just as proud.
It hurts to watch her alone.
I cry that he’s not here to experience this.
But it is what it is.

This baby will be with her for only 2 more months. Maybe three.
But no longer.

He will then go back to his mother. Where he should be.
That’s the goal …… to keep families together.
And it’s what D2 wants …… in her heart of hearts.
She knows the end will be painful.
She knows that it will hurt.
She knows that she’ll grieve for him.

But she also knows that she’ll rejoice for him and his mother.
She’ll be happy to put them back together.
And she’ll be proud of helping to start his life with the love and strength that his mother couldn’t.
She’ll know that she gave him what he needed to start his life on a positive track.

She is the most amazing person that I know.
She has been called to this life of taking care of other people’s children …… when they can’t. For as long as they need her.
And she’s been called to give them back …… no matter the circumstance, no matter how much time has gone by, no matter.

Too bad we all can’t mother the way that she does.
I don’t even do it now. I hold him as much as I can, but I also end up putting him down so that I can maybe do a load of laundry or clean up some dishes.
I try to get other things done …… rather than just holding him and relishing every single second.

I wish I could’ve been more like her.
She’s amazing.
She’s so full of love and patience and more love.
I hope I can be like her when I grow up.

(Gracie, loving on Little Bit.)

She’s an amazing woman.
I love her so very, very much.
And am blessed to call her my daughter.

I hope Jim feels the same way.

How in THE Hell ……

5 Replies

…… Did I Do This With Six??!!!

Seriously.
I realize that I was younger back then, but SIX?!
I must’ve been insane.

I’m in Waco this week, taking care of Little Bit at night so that Daughter #2 can get some much-needed sleep. I’m also watching him during the day. For no reason other than helping her out a bit and spending time with him.
He eats every three to four hours. Mostly three.
Throughout the day AND night.

Last night/this morning I got up at 1:30 and 5:30 to feed him.
And then got up at 2:30 and 6:30, because he’s only sleeping about an hour after a bottle. Then he wakes up and cries. I think he may have reflux.
And he’s dealing with constipation …… bless his tiny heart.
So. Much. Fun.

D #2 just got home from work.
I’m still in my pj’s.
Little Bit hasn’t napped longer than 30 or 40 minutes all day.
I managed to get the dishes done (without a dishwasher).
Although it took me two consecutive feedings to finish them.

I did not manage to get a shower.

OK, really …… SIX?!!!!!
I’m a walking zombie and it’s only Day One!!
Oh.
My.
Word.

But, I did manage to get him to smile and coo at me a few times today. He’s just starting that, so it doesn’t happen often yet.
But we’re working on it.

In other news, I have another new Little Bit, only she’s really Littlest Bit:

This is Gracie.
Gracie Lou Freebush.
I KNOW!!!!!
Isn’t she THE cutest thing ever?!!

I got her a couple of weeks ago when I was in Oklahoma.
She’s been my secret project.
I’ve been looking for a Teacup Yorkie breeder for a while, and did a search in the area of Okla that I was going to be in and Voila! I just happened to find one who had just posted Gracie (she named her Peyton — I changed it) the day before I searched.
So I picked her up that weekend and then we flew back to Texas.
And then to NY.
And then to Waco!
She’s only 8 weeks old and she’s already well-traveled.
🙂

Daughter #2 and #3 decided that she should have her own Instagram account, so they created it last night.
You can follow her here

She actually got me a little prepared for this week, since I get up with her twice during the night to let her relieve herself.
In a litter box.

Yep, I’m litter training her, which I discovered is a common thing, especially with small dogs and ESPECIALLY in New York (or any big city with high rise apartment buildings).
While I was researching the breed and how best to train them, I happened upon some articles about puppy litter boxes. It didn’t take more than a nano second to decide that was the way to go.
So far she’s doing pretty well. She’s not totally trained yet, but I’d say she uses the box about 80% of the time. Not too shabby for a baby.
🙂

She is as adorable as she looks, except for when she’s chewing on your fingers …… or toes.
She’s teething like a madman (do madmen teethe?) so she’s constantly looking for something to chew on.
We’re working on that.
And keeping all shoes some place high.
Well, “high” as in maybe 12 inches from the ground.

She weighs two pounds right now and will get to be around 5 when she’s fully grown.
A beast, I know.

She squeaks a lot, kind of like a guinea pig, which she may be more related to than any dog.
She just found out that she has a bark a few days ago.
She seemed very surprised at the time.
And then she thought she was all that and a bag of chips.
A bag of chips that could bark.

So we are over-flowing with cuteness around here.
Which makes the sleep deprivation easier to deal with.

I’m also dealing with either a badly strained/torn oblique muscle, or I’m slowly losing a kidney or appendix. The pain is intense and has been since last Wednesday. I must’ve done something during a barre class, but nothing hurt at the time. The pain came the next day, after I did some stretches. Nothing big, and again, I didn’t feel any pain at the time.
But I’ve felt it big time 24/7 since then.
Just another thing to add to the fun.
🙂

Speaking of that, it’s baby-crying time, so I’d better go assist.
Her baby …… not mine.
🙂

Double Wow ……

1 Reply

…… I cried again.

But a good cry.
You guys blew me out of the water with all of the comments …… and support …… here and on FB.
I really didn’t know that more than a handful of people read this blog. I hoped that some widowed people had found me, but I figured it was only a few.
Wow ……

Thank you SO much for the comments.
Thank you for your very kind words.
Thank you for your anger.
And thank you for the love I felt.
Wow ……

A friend messaged me last night and let me know that I was not alone in receiving that kind of comment from that person.
I was sorry that she had endured that, but I was also glad that it wasn’t just me.
And then I felt sad.

I’m sad for the person who I thought was a friend. Not a close friend, but a friend anyway.
I’m sad that something is going on in her life that causes her to try to hurt people, and cloaking it in “God”.
God doesn’t need a cloak.

I’m sad for her.
All I can do is pray for her …… and ask you to do the same.
And that’s all I’m going to say about that …… from here on out.

Yesterday was a big theatre day for me.
And a busy day.

My friend J and I walked to our book club meeting. The hostess lives about an hour from us, over by the U.N.
I love walking here. No matter how many blocks/miles.
But I don’t enjoy the humidity.
Yes, you’d think I’d be used to humidity since I happen to spend most of my life in one of the most humid places on earth …… south Texas.
But in Texas, we don’t walk everywhere we go.
That would just be insane.

And it’s October for cryin’ out loud!! It’s supposed to feel like fall up here!
By the time we got to the apartment, we were both pretty drenched.
And not from rain.
Ugh.

But we had a great meeting and a really good discussion about the book.
And I learned that …… if I cram the reading of a book in a little over 24 hours …… I remember it well enough to join in the discussion …… and know what I’m talking about!!
Who’d a thunk?!

BTW, the book is The Museum of Extraordinary Things, by Alice Hoffman. It’s good. It’s weird. But good.

After that J and I decided to walk to the theatre to see if we could get tickets to see “The Country House”, with Blythe Danner.
And we did!!!

It was very good.

We also walked past the library,

and by Bryant Park, where they’re already putting up the skating rink!

After the play I sat in Times Square, soaking up the people, the fun and the weirdness.

Then I met my friend B at Carmine’s for dinner.
And a blood orange margarita.

Yes, they were as good as they look.
Don’t be jealous.

After dinner we went to see “Pippin”. And I enjoyed it as much as the first time I saw it.

And the really cool thing, for me, was that this lady was in it!

I know you can’t really tell who that is, so I’ll tell you.
Cuz I’m nice like that.
It’s Lucie Arnaz.
You know, the daughter of Lucille Ball.

She happened to star in the very first Broadway show I saw …… “They’re Playing Our Song”.
And I LOVED that show. I still have the album.
And still listen to it.

After the play they held a Talk Back, which is when people from the show (producers, directors, actors, etc) hang out to discuss the show and answer questions. I love it when a Talk Back is included. The person who chatted with us was Stephen Schwartz, the composer and lyricist of “Pippin”. Forty years ago.
Wow ……