Nah. It’s really Home Sweet Home.
I’m in New York.
And so is my stuff.
The movers arrived Monday, at around 11:30 a.m. It took them approximately 2-3 hours to bring in all of the boxes/stuff.
And then I got down to business.
For the next 10 hours.
The next two days I unpacked/put away/discarded things for 16 hours. Each day.
Yesterday I got up and worked about 3 hours and finished.
All boxes had been unpacked, flattened and recycled.
Everything had been put away where it belongs …… or stuffed somewhere to be attended to at a later date.
Today was that later date.
I went through every junk drawer/basket/file, you name it …… I went through it, cleaned it out, organized it and purged.
The apartment is finally …… and totally …… done.
And I feel happier than I’ve felt in almost 11 1/2 years.
I feel content.
I am where I’m supposed to be.
It’s not where I thought I’d be 11 years ago.
But time passes.
And it sometimes changes things.
I am definitely changed.
Yes, I still miss Jim.
But I’m living my life.
Not our life.
And though I wish it were different ……
And I’m okay with that.
Because to not be okay with it would mean that I would be miserable.
He, nor I, would want that.
My kids are all good.
They’re healthy, happy, secure, successful …… and loved.
I couldn’t ask for more.
The road from there to here was long, dark, excruciatingly difficult, painful, lonely and full of potholes, unexpected detours, closures and some amazing views.
I don’t know what the future holds for me.
And that’s a good thing.
I don’t want to know.
I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to know.
I just want to live this life …… this full, active, busy, sometimes sad, most times good, challenging, never dull, always interesting and full of love life one day at a time.
And that’s a lot.