Tag Archives: single in NY

Little Bit ……

…… and Laws.

Since Ashley so kindly asked for more of Little Bit, I figured I should write a post about that. And him.

First of all, he’s still amazing. He made the flight to Oregon with nary a peep.
If you don’t count the diaper blow out on the way.
Which just makes me smile because I wonder how many of those nasty things I had to deal with over the past almost-(GULP!)- 30 years?
You know the ones …… everything slides right up the back, and/or out the leg holes.

We bought him a little tuxedo onesie to wear to the wedding today, so I’m hoping to get a really cute pic soon.

Now about those pics …… we are prohibited by law from publishing his name and his picture. Or anything else personal about him.
Thus …… no pictures since I left.

I’m hoping to figure out how to edit some newer ones so that I can post them.
Now, if I know you personally then I can show you pictures of this amazingly cute baby. But other than that, I’m sorry.
And really, it’s totally killing me to not be able to show you how ever-lovin’-cute he is!!!!!

There are a few other things that are required of me, other than not publishing pictures.
Today I went to a CPR/AED/FA class.
This is so that the foster system will trust me to stay with him, but only for up to 72 hours. After that, he gets snatched away and taken to people who’ve taken training to provide “respite” care.
Needless to say, Daughter #2 isn’t going anywhere more than 72 hours away.

OK, I just had to stop and squeal quite loudly.
That’s because D2 just sent me a pic of him in the tux/onesie.
I can NOT stand the cuteness!!!!

OK, where was I?
Ahh, yes ….. requirements to hang with foster kids.
The CPR course.

So I perused the internet to find just the right class.
And I did.
Or so I thought.
It was called FUN CPR!
Now you know me …… give me a choice between regular and fun, and I’m going to choose FUN every time.

So I walked to this office/Asian church/Asian funeral home and got there before 10:00. (The email said that the doors would be locked promptly at 10:00).
There were Asian people, dressed in black, coming and going and mostly meeting in one room for a service.
Then there were four of us who weren’t Asian, who were waiting for the FUN CPR class to start.
We waited for an hour. No word at all from the teacher. The receptionist said he’d never been that late and wasn’t it just too bad that she didn’t have his cell number?

One of the four found another teacher near by and called him. Surprise, surprise ….. his students had not shown up this morning. No, he wasn’t ours and we weren’t his, it was just plain serendipity.
So we walked over to his office and took the class. And he ended up being hilarious.
I passed.

So far, my fingerprints and my background check have turned up nothing ……. in this country anyway. ;-p

I’ll see if I can edit some pics of him for you.

Until then, here are some pictures of Matthew Broderick and Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley in Harry Potter), Megan Mullally, Stockard Channing and F. Murray Abraham from the play last night.
I have to admit that the last several pictures were taken under the cover of darkness and sneakiness. But they were soooo close that I just HAD to!!!

And you’re welcome.

Hopefully one of you can come bail me out some day.
Wherever I end up.


This is Stacey Keach, who was sitting a few seats from me at “You Can’t Take It With You” with James Earl Jones.


This is Stockard Channing, though difficult to see clearly.

Nathan Lane, who was so dang close!!

It took me several minutes to recognize Megan Mullally (Will and Grace) because she’s lost a great deal of weight and was blonde in the show.

Curtain call:  2nd from the right is F. Murray Abraham


Rupert Grint — very patient and kind
and goofy!


Matthew Broderick …. also very kind and patent.


Ladies and Gentlemen ……

…… I present …… The Tonys!
In pictures.

Here’s the dress that I changed into in what may be record time.
But probably not.


The show was held at Radio City and we had to be inside the theatre, not the building but the theatre and in our seats, before 7:00 when they shut the doors. At 6:30 a crowd was starting to gather across the barricaded street. I felt so famous! There’s no telling how many deleted pictures I was in. 🙂

This was what you saw when you got just inside the doors: wall to wall people.  It took quite a bit of time to work your way in and then up the stairs, where everyone was stopping to take pictures of the crowd below.

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.  🙂

I took this one after I got to the top.

My view. Not too shabby.



The first award given (they started all of the artistic awards at 7:00, before the live televised part began at 8:00) was for the best regional theatre.  The Signature Theatre Company here in NY won that one.  That’s the theatre where Daughter #1 did her fellowship this past year.
Cool, huh?

These two accepted the award.  I don’t remember who they are, but I took this pic so that D#1 could see them.

Then Rosie O’Donnell won a special award for her work with children and the theatre.  She started a non-profit that exposes kids, who otherwise couldn’t afford it, to the theatre.

If you look at the aisle here you can see Hugh Jackman, kangaroo-hopping his way down the aisle……

past the front row ……

and up the steps.

This was one of the first musical numbers (I recorded all of them, I think) …… “Les Mis”.

Hugh on the front apron (front part of a stage), chatting with us and with Neil Patrick Harris, who was sitting right there in front of him.


This award was won by the (only) actress in “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”, who plays a guy, or so you think.  She was terrific in that show!


This was the winner of Featured Actor in a Musical:







He’s the guy who plays the genie.  The guy we gave a standing ovation to, during the play!





She totally deserved this history-making award. She’s the first performer to win 6 Tonys and the first to win one in all four acting categories.  She’s wonderfully talented and very, very gracious.



I saw this play yesterday (Sunday) and when it was over I had no words.
Other than, “Wow!”.  He was truly great.  And he deserved that Tony, hands down.
It was a terrific play.






This pic was taken when they were naming the nominees.


And he deserved this one, too.  Very much.
Daughter #2 is coming here this week and I’m taking her and D#3 to see it next weekend.  They can hardly wait.  Nor can I!  🙂



Before they announced the Best Actress in a Musical nominees, Hugh went down into the audience to try to make them sing/dance with him.  Not all agreed.  But they all had fun.

Jessie Mueller, who played Carol King in “Beautiful”, playing around with him.



And then accepting the Tony!!



There was still a crowd outside to watch everyone come out after it was over.
It felt a bit strange schlepping across town in a formal dress, holding the hem up so it wouldn’t drag since I wore flats to and from the apartment (carried heels in my bag).

So there you have it …… a three hour long show …… reduced to about 75 seconds.
And no commercials!
I had a blast and I hope to do it again some time.

I hope you enjoyed yourselves, too.

A Piece of My Mind ……

…… has been given to that bloody E Harmony site.
And yes, I just used the word bloody. That’s probably because I’ve been watching House Hunter’s International and listening to British and Australian home buyers.
And it seemed to fit.

As I’ve said before, I don’t have a lot of pieces up there left to give, but I truly loathe that site.
I haven’t deleted my account yet because I purchased a 3 month plan, and I’m determined to stick it out until the bitter end.

I mostly just delete men every few days now. That’s because they have never, EVER sent me a good match. Every single one is accompanied with the words, “This match is outside of your settings, but it might work.”
I have no idea why they’ve never, EVER, sent a match within my settings (which are actually quite broad), but last night’s email of “outside matches” was the last straw.

I went on line, pulled up my profile, deleted everything I had written in the “More About Me” section and then wrote this:

A little more about me

I’m getting ready to leave this site because eHarmony has been a negative experience for me. I feel completely invisible on this site. Do you men NEVER make the first move??! What is it that you’re afraid of? I’m fine with men who are “outside” my settings (which are the only kind I get), but I’m not fine with always having to be the one who initiates, who sends the “smile” (gag!). I’ve done it, plenty of times, but haven’t had a man respond. I’m fun, funny, independent, spiritual, healthy and fit, smart and I love adventure. I’d rather be single the rest of my life than stick around here.

Yes, I really wrote that, clicked “save” and then closed up shop.
And guess what happened?
Oh, of course you know what happened because … REALLY?!

So now I’m in communication with a guy who read that within 30 minutes of my edit and then wanted to “get to know me”.
Go figure.

In other non-on-line-dating news, I think barre class almost killed me today. After I came home I was so exhausted that I had to go take a nap. An hour later I didn’t feel much more rested. So today was a quiet, stay in the apartment kind of day.
I think I need to eat some more protein.
I have class in the morning again.
If you don’t hear from me for a few days, you can safely assume I died.
Or maybe I’m in a coma …… resting.

He is Risen ……

…… He is risen indeed.

We had a very nice Easter weekend up here in NY.
Yesterday the weather was warm (in the high 50’s!) here and oh, so beautiful.
After I went to barre class I went to see a play (which was horrible) and then spent time walking through the Park. It was a very popular spot this weekend.




This little guy and his mom were having pictures done underneath the beautiful trees with all of the white blossoms.  You can’t really tell, but he was dressed as a bunny, with ears and a tail.  Too cute.



I’m not sure what was going on, but suddenly there was a herd (not sure what to call a group of them?) of policeman on motorcycles in the Park.

As I was leaving the Park I saw this woman.  And instantly started humming, “Tuppence, tuppence….” (hopefully you recognize what depressing song was going through my head).  Because she was totally feeding the birds.  Lots and lots of bird seed was in that bag.
For pigeons.  Also known as rats with wings.
Or Jim.  🙂


I went up to the top of my building last night to hang out with some friends. And I took these pics of the park, which is now getting green.

We have a fantastic view from up there.

Then I came back to the apartment to hang out and relax. Oliver was obviously intent on doing the same thing.
He was snuggled up against me, sitting up like a human, with his legs stretched out. He was very, very relaxed.  I took these picture from above:




He finally decided to stretch out …… with his front feet curled in front of him:
He leads a very tough life.

This morning we got up and started getting ready to have friends come over for an Easter pot luck lunch. I also watched Ed Young’s Easter service from Houston, which made me feel more connected to Texas. 🙂
Daughter #3 had invited several of her friends from church (including her BF!). They all brought yummy dishes (the most popular was the box of Texas kolaches — which means NOT fruit filled, but sausage and cheese and jalapeño-filled!). Those disappeared very quickly.

We played a lively round of Apples to Apples and then it was time for several of us to go to church.
Yes, our church services are on Sunday nights (it’s a church plant from Texas).
Daughter #3 and I were supposed to go out with the guys that I met Friday night at the supper club. We had reservations for 8:00, but one of the guys has been sick all day so we had to cancel. We were disappointed but hopefully I’ll be able to meet up with them while I’m in Houston next month.

So that was my weekend. Nothing exciting, but very nice anyway. The temps were cooler today, but it still appears that maybe we have finally reached spring time up here. 🙂

A word of advice for any theatre-loving peeps: if you ever think about going to see the play, “Under My Skin” …… don’t.
Keep your money.
You’re welcome.

I hope you all had a peaceful and blessed Easter.

Breaking News ……

…… or not.
It’s actually more like the Daily Demented, or the Certifiable Citizen, or maybe The National Enquirer.

Today, for the second time in my life, I received …… wait for it …… wait for it …… a proposal.
Here it is:

Will you marry me

See? How can one convey the love, the passion, nay …… the gravity of that question, but with …… “Regards”?

I’ve had a couple of hours to ponder this lunatic’s lovely man’s proposition, and I’m afraid I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just not ready for marriage.
Who knows? Maybe if he asks again in 6 months, or 30 years, I might feel otherwise.
But for now, I’m humbled …… and laughing uncontrollably.

I was busy counting all of the “I want to know you more better” messages today, so this one caught me by surprise.

Do you see what I have to deal with???!!!

And you thought I was just kidding when I used the term “cray-cray”.
Now you know better.

In news unrelated to my dating/requests of marriage life …… I’m still hitting the barre, but it’s no longer kicking my butt …… most of the time. It still has its moments.
Today a woman who was next to me during the class, turned to me after it was over (and I was dripping with sweat), and asked me …… oh, so naively, “Does this ever get easier?!”. To which I replied, “No, not really.”
After seeing her crestfallen face I did clarify my answer and told her that she would get stronger and be able to hang in there better, but as for easier?
Not so much.

I went to Harlem today for my volunteer stint. Those kids (ages 3-5) are so freakin’ hilarious. Except for one. Who whines and cries at the drop of a hat.
Every single day.
All day long, according to his teachers.
Who, in my opinion, are saints.
I only have to deal with him for an hour. Which is really a good thing for him.
I don’t know what goes on at home, but he gets upset over the tiniest thing, and then points at what he wants and talks “baby talk”. And cries. Loudly.
That kid works on my last nerve.
Today I told him that, as long as he cried and talked like a baby, I couldn’t help him.
Which didn’t seem to matter to him …… for a minute or so.
Then he stopped crying, got a tissue and blew his nose (is “blew” even a word??), and then proceeded to try to tell me what he wanted.
I’ve never seen a preschooler act so helpless. Most of them are almost defiant in trying to do things themselves.
This kid is going to make some woman a miserable wife.

Tonight I went to see “Bullets Over Broadway”, which starred Zach Braff. You know, the guy from “Scrubs”.
Woody Allen wrote the play.
And the movie, which I remember seeing years ago, with Jim.
I didn’t care for it all that much.

So I didn’t have high hopes for the musical.
It was entertaining, I guess. But not a “I’ve GOT to see that!” show.
Even though I was in the second row.
So I was about 5 feet from Zach.
Thankfully he didn’t spit when he spoke.

It’s time for me to go to bed.
I have barre class again in the morning.
It’s definitely a love/hate relationship.
I hate having to drag myself there, but I love being done with it.
I’m truly conflicted.

I’m totally psyched for the weekend.
Because Saturday night I’m going with my friend Kelley to see Elayne Boosler!
Kelley is a friend of hers and Elayne gave her two tickets to the show. And she asked me to be her date. Whoop!!
If you’re too young to know who Elayne Boosler is, then I have to, once again, ask …..
what are you doing here?!!!

OK. I need to hit the hay.
And ponder how to gently let down the guy who proposed to me.

Oh, who am I kidding?! I’m not going to gently let him down!! I’ll probably just delete his message and pretend I never received it.
Or message him back with a, “Yes!! When and where??!!!”
That should make him think twice.
Or six times.

Adios, Peeps.
Have a great weekend.

How to Spot a Dating Site Scammer ……

…… in one easy lesson post.

In the last 24 hours I have received about 6 “Hello” messages on OK Cupid. At least four of them are from fakers/scammers/people who most likely do not live in this country.
But I’ll let you be the judge of that.

I will tell you, with some knowledge, that this is getting very tiresome.
But, on the bright side, I thought I’d choose two of them to post as examples of what to look for …… should you ever, EVER find yourself on a free dating site.
The old adage, “You get what you pay for” never rang so true.

Here is Example #1.
(You might want to have a barf bag handy.)

Wow you look very radiant like the morning sky,i really appreciate God for a wonderful creature like you.you are like a gift from God , seeing you has really made me to forget to ask how u are doing. Well let me not be carried away by your beauty, I must tell you the truth you are among the wonders of God’s creature.i will be very glad if i can get to know you more better.Meeting with you will be my first joy, please it will gladden my heart by giving me a response. please do include your email address or cell phone number, when reply so we could start by chatting…You are beautiful, Cheers up till i hear from

Yep, that’s how it ended. I didn’t crop anything.
(I’d like to crop something, but that’s a whole ‘nother post.)

I know what you’re thinking.
How could this guy know, from just my picture, that I am among the wonders of God’s creature?
It must have been all the radiance shining through that picture of me, on the top of a mountain in Oregon, wearing sunglasses and standing far from the camera.
My radiance is hard to contain.
It’s a gift.
And a curse.

When you’re done with your gagging/retching/spit-takes, you may proceed to Example #2:

Hello how are you doing ,I just saw your profile and i couldn’t resist to send you a message am so sorry if this got you upset, will i just did some criteria search for singles Women and felt your photo was interesting and profile,i will really be happy if you can write me back on my Cell Phone to know my hope in you thanks >>>>>>>XXX) XXX)-XXXX.

This guy’s hope in me is going to be dashed.
And please note that I’m not totally heartless …… I put X’s where his phone number was (but I didn’t take out the parentheses or the 8 or so greater than symbols).
Don’t ask.
I have no idea.

I’m really struggling to not delete my info from this web site.
I am getting very tired of having to wade through these types of messages,
but you guys …… this is comedy/blog gold! I’m really going to have to incorporate this into a stand up routine.
I’ll keep you posted.

In the mean time …… I interrupt this program for a moment of advertising. I can do that because it’s my blog. 🙂
If you or anyone you know would be interested in purchasing this:

or this:

let me know.
The first picture is, as you can see, a pool table, but it’s also an air hockey table and it’s VERY heavy duty.
Emphasis on heavy.
It’s not one of those cheap tables.

The second picture is of a NordicTrak E500.
It’s in perfect condition and is a great all-in-one workout item.
I won’t have room for them in a smaller house.

Speaking of a smaller house, things are proceeding. The inspections are done and most of the paperwork is signed and in place. Of course, nothing is truly settled until every T is crossed on closing day, so I’m still in a “we shall see” mode.
I’ve found that a pretty good place to be most of the time.

That’s it for today.
I’ll keep mining for comedy/blog gold …… just to keep you all entertained.
And as always …… you’re welcome.

Optimism or ……

…… a little cray-cray.
I’ll let you decide.

This picture shows the sidewalk area of three restaurants in a row:
See all of the outdoor tables set up for customers?

Now look at this picture, which was taken right after the above picture:
If you click on it you can see that it shows the temperature as 34.
Who’s going to sit at sidewalk tables when it’s a flippin’ THIRTY FOUR DEGREES outside?!
I’ll tell you who …… NO ONE!

Say what you will about New Yorkers and their strength, perseverance, and optimism …..
I’m telling you that whoever decided to set up those tables (and each restaurant who followed suit) is indeed, a whole lotta crazy.
Especially when you notice that the time was 4:55 p.m.
(And it was in the low 20’s this morning.)
So yeah, they were getting ready for the dinner crowd. Which, I have no doubt, was going to crowd up inside these restaurants.
Sometimes I just shake my head.
And smile.

Speaking of smiling, I took these pictures from the airplane last week as we were descending into LaGuardia:






That sight never fails to make me smile.
And no complaining. I took a lot of pictures.
You’re lucky that I only showed you seven.

This past weekend I went to NJ to attend/help out with my friend Beth’s fundraiser that her family/community holds each year in honor/memory of her husband, who was a high school teacher and basketball coach there. This was their 6th year to host this event and my first one to attend.
It was very fun, successful and exhausting. Which means I had a great time. I met a lot of people, her friends and family, and I saw how much community support her family has received these past 6 years. It was amazing and so very nice.
And …… I won two raffle items. One package was the last 3 Batman movies (I think I put one ticket into that one) and the other was a necklace that I really like. I may have put about 6 tickets into that one.
I have to admit that I was pretty disappointed to not win the margarita basket, into which I probably put at least 20 tickets.
And yes, I do know that I could’ve gone out and bought everything in that basket for less than I put into it, but that’s not the point.
If you’ve never put tickets into a raffle you cannot judge.
It’s the thrill of the moment.
And the lure of a great margarita.

And then there’s this. Remember when I showed you the pictures of the pigeon that was hanging around my gate at the Newark airport? Well, I forgot to tell you that when I returned from Tampa, into Newark, and was walking past that same gate, a pigeon flew past me and into that gate area.
I kid you not.
It was the strangest thing.

But even more strange, was this …… at the Port Authority bus terminal, where I was waiting to get on the bus to Jersey:

If I was a big “signs” believer, I’d tell you that these pigeons were a sign.
And that maybe it was Jim, showing himself to me.
But I’m not, which is probably a good thing because how pissed off would he be to know that I thought he was a rat with wings?!
Pretty dang pissed off.
And rightfully so.
But just between you and me (because I don’t think he reads my blog) …… I’m going to pay a little bit more attention to pigeons from now on.

I came home Sunday afternoon, in time for me to make a barre class.
I was beyond exhausted after the weekend and riding a bus 2 1/2 hours back into the city. But I put on my big girl tights and went anyway.
And holy cow.
I only thought I was beyond exhausted before that class.
And in what I can only imagine was a moment of complete insanity brought on by said exhaustion, I signed up for three classes in a row.
Three days in a row.
So this morning, at about 10 minutes into the second in-a-row-class, I was cursing the exhausted me who signed me up for that.
I have no doubt that there will be even more cursing tomorrow morning.

After I got home from Sunday’s class, I heard a lot of car horns going off. And for me to notice that here in this city, means that it really was A LOT!
So I looked out the window to see what was going on and found this:



It was an anti-Putin/pro Ukraine demonstration. And these pictures show only a very small amount of the cars involved. They must’ve gone on for close to a mile.
Never a dull moment around here.

And now I shall leave you with this, which is probably going to start “coloring” many of my posts …… something from OK Cupid.
I really wasn’t going to share much from this “experiment” here, but I’m finding it way too tempting. I just can’t help myself.
Hopefully you’ll understand why.
This is an excerpt from a “match’s” profile (honestly, I could NOT make this stuff up, even if I tried):

My self-summary
Caring, thoughtful, intelligent, well educated, fit guy, in search of a good friend as well as a wonderful lover…. My ideal partner is sweet, intelligent, creative, and seeking the same sort of substantive connection as I am. I have no desire to be possessive, but I do want to be filled with desire when a favorite image of you comes to mind, bringing a smile to my lips, a thrill to my heart, and a charge to my loins….

A “charge to my loins”?!!???! What the hell????
Is there a woman, anywhere on this planet, who would find that enticing??! Because, really? That received a quick and strong DELETE.
And a whole lotta gagging.

Again, don’t be jealous.
We can’t all live this kind of life.
And it can’t be all fun and games, and theatre.
Evidently God feels that there should be some nausea thrown in.
At regular intervals.

And no, I haven’t noticed that I’m getting “more attractive” men.
Sigh ……

There now.
Don’t you feel better about your life?
You’re welcome.

A Totally Hilarious, Yet Also Horrifying ……

…… boost to my ego.
Kind of.

But more about that later.

Thank you so much for the comments here and on Facebook about my last post. Thank you for your kind words, thoughts and prayers, and most of all, love.
I am so grateful that I am surrounded by so much love.
Reading that post still makes me cry, but life moves forward.
And the kids and I will continue to take it one day at a time.

Speaking of life moving forward …… those of you who are involved in Soaring Spirits, or who went to Camp Widow East and attended the workshop Arnie and I led, know that I have gone back on line …… to try out the whole dating thing …… again.
Excuse me while I gag.

I hated it the first time I tried it.
I hated it after meeting a colossal fraud/scammer/widow-hunter.
I hated it when I was asked to co-lead a workshop about it.
But I decided to go back to it, so that I could perhaps be a bit more …… balanced in the workshop.
I still hated it.

I am currently on two dating sites. One that charges a fee (E-Harmony) and one that is free (OK Cupid).
I decided to stay on them for a bit longer because the workshop seemed to be a big hit and we may be doing it at Camp Widow West in July.
And maybe I’d have more to report.

Word, do I have more to report.
And it’s only been about 2 weeks since Camp.
I may have to lead a week-long seminar.

Here’s what I have to say about MY experience with E-Harmony:
It sucks.
Totally and 100%.
Now, I have to tell you that I know of a number of widows (my dear friends) who met their current husbands on that site.
Evidently, E-Harmony hates me.
The feeling is mutual.

I have not met one single person on that site.
Oh sure, they send me “matches” every day or so, but not once has anyone contacted me.
I feel completely invisible on that site.
And I’ve gone out of my comfort zone and sent “smiles” to several men (excuse me while I hurl.)
Yes, I’ve made the first move several times.
E-Harmony is dead to me.

And then there’s OK Cupid.
Where I’ve not only recognized, but reported and scared off 2 (TWO) scammers.
Oh, yeah …… I’m the Immigration of OK Cupid.

In all fairness, I have to tell you that it’s not that difficult to spot most scammers. All it takes is a mediocre grasp of the English language. Like verb tenses. And a few participles.
Because these scammers have no grip on them at all.

So scammer #1 sent me quite a few messages, along with a couple of pictures. He claimed to be an American-born, and NY bred, military man. With a couple of kids.
His use of the English language was something more akin to someone born in a third world country.
So I reverse searched his pictures on Google Images.
And found that the poor guy in the pictures was indeed real, but his pictures have been stolen and used over and over and over again on dating sites to scam women.
I immediately reported scammer #1.

Scammer #2? I toyed with him for about a week.
And enjoyed every moment of it.

He, of course, wanted my email address so that he could send me more pictures and I could send him some (red flag #2, after the broken English red flag). I demurred, stating that since I was so new on this site, I preferred to keep all communication there.
He went along with it, as far as I could tell, with his limited English.
After a few messages I asked him where he was born.
He said, “Ireland.”
But he grew up in NY.
Because most Irish-born people don’t know how to use the word “the” in a sentence. Give me a break.

Then he asked me what I was looking for on that site.
This is what I told him:
“I’m looking for an honest man. A man who won’t pretend that he’s someone he’s not and won’t use someone else’s pictures to try and scam a woman.”
To which he replied, “What do you mean? I do not understand what you say.”
I know.
So I replied, “There are men on this site who use a false name and post false pictures to try to meet women. It’s wrong and it’s illegal (I have no idea if it’s really illegal, but I didn’t care at that point).”
Then I asked, so innocently, “So … how long have you lived in America and do you like it?” (Add a flutter of the eyelashes here.)
Here’s his reply: “Are you one of these people? I have not hear of this. You know much about this.”
This morning, when I saw that last reply, I went on line, trying to think of an amazing come-back. But alas, I found that his picture was gone.
And his account had been deleted.
I know!!!
I totally rocked on that. 🙂

In other OK Cupid news, I went on a date Thursday night.
There will be no second.
I knew that the moment I was telling him about my hip surgery. I can’t remember how that topic came up, but it did. He asked when it had happened. I used one of my major time frame references and said, “It was two years after my husband died.” He then stopped me abruptly by saying, “Wait. Wait. That’s the second time that you’ve said “My husband died”. You don’t need to say it again.”

He left to go to the restroom and I fought myself, biting my cheek and digging my fingernails into my palms, to not cry and not throw something in fury.
In a minute amount of fairness, during our previous phone calls, he had said that he didn’t date widows because the one time he had, the woman had spent the whole time saying, “My husband and I ate there. That’s where my husband proposed to me. My husband worked there. My husband and I used to go there a lot.”
And I get that. I really do.
That woman was not ready to date.
But I didn’t do that.
To me, Jim’s death is a total time reference. Much the way the births of my children are.
After he said that I did ask him if he was threatened by a dead husband. I said that, yes, I had a husband who I loved, but he’s not in competition with anyone. He’s dead. DEAD.
That’s when he went to the rest room.
And that’s when I knew there wouldn’t be a second date.
He texted me today and I answered him curtly.
He’s not totally stupid.
He hasn’t texted or called again.

So there you go.
Don’t be jealous.

And now, as for the title of this post …… I’m mostly speechless.

I received an email last night from OK Cupid.
I was so speechless that I took a screen shot of it.
Which I now share with you.
Buckle your seat belt.
Screen Shot 2014-03-23 at 6.11.29 PM

I know …… it’s too small for you to read.  You can click on it and then read it …… or you can read this:

We just detected that you’re now among the most attractive people on OkCupid.

We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch and Quiver. Did you get a new haircut or something?
Well, it’s working!

To celebrate, we’ve adjusted your OkCupid experience:

You’ll see more attractive people in your match results.

This won’t affect your match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match’s answers. But we’ll recommend more attractive people to you. You’ll also appear more often to other attractive people.

Sign in to see your newly-shuffled matches. Have fun, and don’t let this go to your head.

Ummmm, yeah. Hilarious. Ego-boosting. And horrifying.
All at the same time.

So I guess I’ve been getting the dregs of their matches.
Until now.
Now that I’m incredibly popular.
Which, for me, begs the question: How horrible are the rest of the women on this site??!!!!!??

And no, I don’t think I’m a total dog, but I hold no illusions about the facts of age and gravity and their impact on a 50+ year old woman.

All that to say, if you’re a single, semi-attractive woman under the age of 45 or so, you should TOTALLY be on this site!!!! You will own it!!!

I’ll leave you with that.
I’m tired.
And I have to get up for barre class in the morning.
And maybe dream about all of the “attractive matches” I’m now going to receive.
Excuse me while I gag, hurl and laugh hysterically.
All at the same time.