…… and tired.

It’s been a rough couple of months.
And evidently, not just for me.

I know I don’t have much to complain about in my life, but sometimes I just get sick and tired.
Of crap.

I’ve had fluid in my ear for 2 weeks now.
This fluid prevented me from flying to California for our annual board retreat. My first one to miss.
And I hate that.

It’s also left me feeling a bit …… “off”. I can’t hear well in the one ear and I just feel out of sorts.
I’ve been to the ER (thankfully the infection/pain is gone), my doctor and a chiropractor (I have my third visit today). I think he’s helped a bit. The fluid is still there but I think there’s less. The pressure is better anyway.
Tomorrow I’m going to see an ENT.

Evidently I’m allergic to Waco.
So.
Much.
Fun.

The past couple of months have been hard on Daughter #2. She’s been fostering two boys, ages 12 and 9. They’re brothers and our hearts go out to them.
But.
Their behavior started out ok but now it’s spiraling out of control.
And as someone who is an only parent, I know how incredibly hard it is to parent angry, disrespectful, grieving children all by yourself.
No one has your back.
And that sucks.

She knows that I have her back, but I don’t live in the same house with them.
I do what I can and yes, I’m only 15 minutes away …… but it’s just not the same.
Things have been beyond difficult.
And it’s starting to affect J-bear.

It’s so hard to see both sides of the foster system. Yes, the kids have been through alot and no, you definitely don’t want to add to their pile of hurts. But sometimes you can only take so much.
And then you break.
And you’re no good to anyone.

We keep hoping that things will get better.
And she hasn’t given up that hope.
But she’s starting to crack.
And I don’t want to stand by and watch her break.
Prayers are appreciated.

In other news of things I’m sick and tired of …… and you mostly likely share this with me …… politics.
Ugh.
I hate, abhor, am sick to death of this crap and how it’s affecting people.
It’s ugly …… pure and simple.

Facebook used to be a fun place to go catch up with friends far and wide, but for about 3 months now it’s been less than fun.
And I don’t get it.

I get the politics part. I get that politics (and religion) can get people heated.
I get that we will never all agree when it comes to that topic.
But this election and its aftermath have become more than that.

People who you’ve never had a harsh word with have suddenly become ex-friends.
Over a stupid election.
I’ve had one “friend” whom I thought I knew …… for more than 20 years …… attack me on MY Facebook page for posting MY opinion.
Mine.
I was shocked.
And flabbergasted (I don’t think I’ve ever used that word before, but I like it. I may have to start using it regularly.).
Her words became hateful.
And so I did what I didn’t think I’d ever do over politics.
I unfriended her.
What a stupid world.
(I also had a distant relative (maybe) unfriend me because I came to the defense of my daughter on MY page. I’ve never met her and don’t know her so that didn’t surprise/bother me. I thought it was funny.)

I’m sick and tired of the fighting, name calling and hatred being poured out over this election.
From both sides.
I’m tired of friends making snide comments on my page when I post something that I like.
So I don’t spend much time there anymore.
I hope that this will all die down soon and people will become normal again.
Whatever that is.

Not that I want everyone to sit back and do nothing.
I think we should all be politically and socially active.
Or things will never change.
And we’ll be stuck with “alternative facts”.
I just hope that we can do this without the hatred.
Where has that come from?
What makes people think it’s ok to post hate on other people’s pages?
Why is it ok to let hatred spew from your fingertips?
It’s not …… in my book.

Now …… in other news of things I’m not sick and tired of …… last week, after a month of training, I was sworn in as a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) and on Friday I took on my first case.
If you’re not familiar with CASA you should definitely Google it and check it out. There’s probably an office near you and you might be a wonderful addition.
In a nutshell …… I’m the voice of a foster child/children in court. I investigate the life of that child, foster a relationship with them (over a period of 12-18 months, or more) and tell the judge what, in my opinion, is in the best interest of her/him.
I listen without judging, support as best I can, and try to keep the goal of the foster system in front of me: keeping families together.
No, that won’t always be the case, obviously. But it is the majority of the time.
Another goal is a CASA for every child in the system. I’m just a tiny drop in a very empty bucket.

So if you’re looking for something of great value to do with your time …… if you want to make a difference in the life of a child who’s hurting …… if this election has made you more aware of the needs of our country …… if you’re sick and tired of the divisiveness and would like to help get rid of it …… I highly recommend becoming a CASA.

And on that note …… I will end this rant post.

Happy Monday, y’all.
🙂