How to Spot a Dating Site Scammer ……

…… in one easy lesson post.

In the last 24 hours I have received about 6 “Hello” messages on OK Cupid. At least four of them are from fakers/scammers/people who most likely do not live in this country.
But I’ll let you be the judge of that.

I will tell you, with some knowledge, that this is getting very tiresome.
But, on the bright side, I thought I’d choose two of them to post as examples of what to look for …… should you ever, EVER find yourself on a free dating site.
The old adage, “You get what you pay for” never rang so true.

Here is Example #1.
(You might want to have a barf bag handy.)

Wow you look very radiant like the morning sky,i really appreciate God for a wonderful creature like you.you are like a gift from God , seeing you has really made me to forget to ask how u are doing. Well let me not be carried away by your beauty, I must tell you the truth you are among the wonders of God’s creature.i will be very glad if i can get to know you more better.Meeting with you will be my first joy, please it will gladden my heart by giving me a response. please do include your email address or cell phone number, when reply so we could start by chatting…You are beautiful, Cheers up till i hear from

Yep, that’s how it ended. I didn’t crop anything.
(I’d like to crop something, but that’s a whole ‘nother post.)

I know what you’re thinking.
How could this guy know, from just my picture, that I am among the wonders of God’s creature?
It must have been all the radiance shining through that picture of me, on the top of a mountain in Oregon, wearing sunglasses and standing far from the camera.
My radiance is hard to contain.
It’s a gift.
And a curse.

When you’re done with your gagging/retching/spit-takes, you may proceed to Example #2:

Hello how are you doing ,I just saw your profile and i couldn’t resist to send you a message am so sorry if this got you upset, will i just did some criteria search for singles Women and felt your photo was interesting and profile,i will really be happy if you can write me back on my Cell Phone to know my hope in you thanks >>>>>>>XXX) XXX)-XXXX.

This guy’s hope in me is going to be dashed.
And please note that I’m not totally heartless …… I put X’s where his phone number was (but I didn’t take out the parentheses or the 8 or so greater than symbols).
Don’t ask.
I have no idea.

I’m really struggling to not delete my info from this web site.
I am getting very tired of having to wade through these types of messages,
but you guys …… this is comedy/blog gold! I’m really going to have to incorporate this into a stand up routine.
I’ll keep you posted.

In the mean time …… I interrupt this program for a moment of advertising. I can do that because it’s my blog. 🙂
If you or anyone you know would be interested in purchasing this:
IMG_4479

or this:
IMG_4480

let me know.
The first picture is, as you can see, a pool table, but it’s also an air hockey table and it’s VERY heavy duty.
Emphasis on heavy.
It’s not one of those cheap tables.

The second picture is of a NordicTrak E500.
It’s in perfect condition and is a great all-in-one workout item.
I won’t have room for them in a smaller house.

Speaking of a smaller house, things are proceeding. The inspections are done and most of the paperwork is signed and in place. Of course, nothing is truly settled until every T is crossed on closing day, so I’m still in a “we shall see” mode.
I’ve found that a pretty good place to be most of the time.

That’s it for today.
I’ll keep mining for comedy/blog gold …… just to keep you all entertained.
And as always …… you’re welcome.
🙂

3 thoughts on “How to Spot a Dating Site Scammer ……

  1. Chris Broaders

    Well, let me tell you ….I joined the online dating scene back before it was a thing. In fact it was at the point where people said to me “you’re doing WHAT?” One of those people was my own father, who seemed to think it was much preferable for me to start frequenting bars to meet men than to use internet dating. I was an early adopter, let’s put it that way rather than make me sound old shall we?;) It was 1996. My friends raised skeptical eyebrows and also assured me there HAD to be better ways to get over a bad relationship than to “date people from THE INTERNET”. They made it sound like I was “DATING people from NEPTUNE.”

    And while I have some pretty funny stories….there was the guy who hadn’t left his home town in 5 years until he agreed to meet me 20 miles away and kept compulsively TELLING ME he never left his home town (said town is part of a major lumped together metro area, and he was very specific that no it’s no the area it’s HIS SPECIFIC HOME TOWN DAMMIT)

    There was the guy who wouldn’t tell me what he did for a living until we met in person, and let me tell you it wasn’t worth the build up….and he has personal space issues.

    The one who took me mini golfing, inside. Who even knew that was a thing? In quite possibly the most interesting outfit around. You think I’m kidding? It was the middle of summer. There were knee socks and suspenders…Want me to go on?

    There were others….

    And then there was the one I decided to contact. “Is Perfektshun too much to ask?” Was the headline.He and I have been together for 17 years this summer.Turns out, there can be plenty of happy endings on the internet. You just have to meet a lot of frogs and get a lot of good stories for your friends to laugh at over a good glass of wine before you meet your prince.

    Reply
  2. Tammie

    Well, thank goodness you are one of the beautiful people and have been upgraded to the “we will send you more beautiful people” list! I don’t know how you can possibly decide between the two? How do they really think that we will fall for that bad english/grammer crap? But please don’t quit yet, it is my daily morning chuckle to see what happens next.

    (For what it’s worth, I hated Eharmony too…..i’ve had my share of scammers on the “single parent’s” site…..I’ve decided to skip all the free ones from now on)

    Reply
  3. pdoetaydoe

    Oh my, that is comedic gold! You gave me my first good laugh today! That one poor guy hadn’t had his first joy yet! Dang! That puts a lot of pressure on you! Ha! Thanks for sharing and bringing a smile to my face!

    Reply

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