…… on many levels.

My dad and his wife came to spend the night and to buy my Mustang. The car Jim surprised me with on my 40th birthday.
It looked like this:

And I loved it a lot.
I’ve had it for 13 years.
Go ahead …… do the math. I don’t really care all that much.

That car has been with me through some really great times.
And through some of the worst times anyone should have to experience.
But for the last 6 years, it has mostly sat in the garage. I drove it once in a while, and it was good to have as an extra car when Son #2 needed some wheels. But mostly, it sat.
And I thought it deserved better.

So I called my dad, who had asked about buying it a few years ago.
Before I was ready.
But now, I was.
Mostly.
Until he drove it out of the driveway.
And tears poured down.
Because I should not have to be selling that car.
Jim should not be dead.
But there you go.
Another chapter closed.
It doesn’t get easier.

A couple of days ago, I fell in love with a house. A smaller house, but a beautiful one.
So I put an offer on it.
After a day and a half, they countered.
And today, I looked at another house, and then re-countered.
And they said yes.

It’s hard to believe.
On the one hand, I am beyond thrilled to get this house. To start over with something that’s me and what will be, rather than what was, and what will never be.
I’m excited to move into this house and make it my home. My Houston home.

But I’m also beyond sad.
I wish that I weren’t having to make this decision.
I wish that I still loved the house I’m in because Jim is in it with me.
But he’s not.
And never will.
The closing of yet another chapter.
A very long, and mostly wonderful, chapter.

Too many chapters have closed in my life.

And then there’s this:
Daughter #1 has been trying to make an appointment for a CT scan. The scan that the cardiac surgeon told me my children will need to get, every year for the rest of their lives, after he told me that Jim had died.

Unfortunately, her health insurance company doesn’t agree. (Thank you, Obama). They say that it’s not necessary.
Easy for them to say. They didn’t have a father die of an aortic dissection.

She asked me to look up her records and see if I could find anything that gave the surgeon’s instructions about getting regular CT scans.
Unfortunately, and for whatever reason, I have no records from 2008 or 2009. At that time I used a CPA firm that Jim had used to do our taxes. And then they folded. And took our records with them, I guess.

Also unfortunately, a very good friend (at that point in time) was in charge of the medical records for the kids. She was an amazing woman who helped me with all of the scheduling of the CT scans and all of the research into what might lie ahead for them. She also got them involved in a study for aortic dissections.
But we never learned anything from that study. Mostly, they just used the word “inconclusive” a lot. And I don’t have any of those records. She had them, and I’m guessing that she still has them.
But she is no longer a person I can contact for help.
That has been made perfectly clear.

So I spent the morning searching on line to see if I could remember/recognize the surgeon who came out to talk to me on December 18, 2007, at about 2:00 a.m.
But I couldn’t.
So I pulled out his death certificate to see if that dr. was listed.
It was the first time I really perused that piece of paper.
And I actually felt more and more light-headed as I read it.
I hate that piece of paper.
And I hate where it takes me.

But it didn’t give me the information I sought.
So I told Daughter #1 to call the hospital’s cardiac unit and talk to them about what happened and ask for their recommendation.
And then I sent an email to Jim’s aunt and uncle.
I asked them if they knew what his mom/Jim’s mom’s mom had died of.
After Jim died, his mom told me that her mother had died of an aneurism, but she didn’t know what type.

It was the first time that I really saw red and wanted to hurt someone.
As Jim sat in that hospital room, waiting for surgery, the doctors and nurses kept quizzing me on what could possibly have caused it.
Was he hit in the chest?
No.
Was he in a car accident (like Princess Diana?).
No.
Had he had high blood pressure?
Never.
There was nothing, anywhere, to indicate there could be a problem.
No family history of anyone dropping dead from an aneurism?
No, not as far as I knew.

Would that knowledge have helped Jim, in the end?
No, I don’t believe so.
But it sure would’ve been good to know before then.
So that he could’ve included that on his health records.
It might have saved his life.

Maybe. Should’ve. Would’ve. Could’ve.
Wasteful words.

But it still pisses me off that his family didn’t openly discuss things like that.
Secrets do a lot of harm.
A whole lot of harm.

But I digress.
So I poured over the death certificate, and once I started feeling light headed and nauseous, I stopped.
And then I received the email that told me what had happened to his maternal grandmother.
She had, indeed, died of an abdominal aneurism. It led to kidney complications, which also contributed to her death.
I read that …… and I felt numb.
It was hard to breathe.
And then I cried.
And cried.
And cried.

I cried for what could’ve been.
I cried for what could be.
I cried for the senseless loss of the other half of myself.
I cried for the senseless loss of my children’s father.
And I cried for the unknown future of my six precious and very loved children.
Because two weakened aortas, does not bode well for them.

And yes, I know that this information could help save their lives, help them get pre-emptive medical help, help their doctors discover the first hint of a problem before it becomes a life or death issue.
In a couple of days …….I’ll be able to be grateful for that.

But today …… today I am sad, depressed, and angry. Very, very angry.
My kids have been through enough shit in these past 6 years. They really don’t need this crappy sword hanging over their heads.
But there it is.
And it makes me sick.
And tired.
And beyond angry.
I hate this.
I resent it.
I wish I could take it away.
I wish I could take it upon myself.
And once again, I’m pissed at God.

It wasn’t enough for us to lose Jim.
Now we all get to wonder, for the rest of our lives, if one of them will be next.
Or if one of them will get to have open heart surgery to avoid death.

So there you go.
An emotional day.

They never seem to end.

Pray as you feel led.
Pray for those of us who can’t …… at the moment.

Thank you.
Very much.

…… via pictures.

I’m hoping that this post won’t be a short novel. Or even a short story.
But I can’t make any promises.
I’m trying to catch you up.
Because I care.
And because you expect great things from me.
Or at least fun things.

So, here are some more pics from Tampa. These are from Sunday, post Camp Widow, as we took the trolley through town and then walked around a bit.
Here’s what you need to know about this part of Tampa:
Starbucks on every corner?
Nope.
Tattoo shops on every corner?
You bet.  (I apologize for not realizing that my camera was set in some strange color setting.  For a while I thought it was just my eye sight.  See?  It’s not all fun and games being me.)

Tattoo parlors …. 3 in less than 3 blocks.  And these were ONLY 3 out of many.

I just thought this was humorous.  I mean, I’ve never pictured the U.S. Customs and Border Protection office as having “customers”.  Detainees?  Yes.  Customers?  Not so much.
A rose by any other name ……

You have to take a good look at this picture to understand why I found it of interest.  And no, we didn’t go in.
Dang.

I don’t remember who this guy was.  I could totally make up something, but I don’t have the energy at the moment.  Use your imagination.

And this …… well, this bordered on insulting.  Because really?  A stripper version of the Statue of Liberty?
Someone needs to get punched.
Maybe that’s just the New Yorker in me.

And this is self-explanatory:

This was a cruise ship with a couple of awesome-looking water slides. It was very, very tempting. But we kept going:

Sunday evening all of the people from the board who were still in town went to dinner.
We were pretty tired.  Which mostly explains the second picture:

I left for NY on Tuesday.  I got in at around 12:30, got to the the apartment around 2:00, left at 2:30 to go to my volunteer job in Harlem, got home around 5:00, and left with Daughter #3 to go to the Tenement Museum with the Manhattan Women’s Club.  We toured one of the apartments and then had a tasting dinner from several local ethnic restaurants.  It was a lot of fun and very informative.  I love learning stuff like that …… about the history of an area.         We had a really good time.

The next day I went to our book club meeting, did laundry, packed and left for the airport at 5:00 in the afternoon.  My flight left at 7:00 and I got into Houston at 10:00.
It was a very long day.

Yesterday I went to the orthodontist, where I finally got those dang rough bumps taken off of my teeth (kind of “sanded” off …… not that much fun), had impressions made for final retainers to wear at night, and then told that I’m done with wearing anything during the day now.  WHOOP and DOUBLE WHOOP!!!  My teeth feel so much better now that those bumps aren’t rubbing against my cheeks or the inside of my mouth.  And I’m SO glad to be out of the Invisaligns!!

After that I went house hunting.
It was a good hunt.

Then I went to the Houston Symphony with my friend Lori. We went to dinner at a “hole-in-the-wall” restaurant, which was located in a very sketchy area.
And no, I’m not being dramatic.
Here’s the entry to the restaurant:

And yes, you really do have to knock …… and wait.
Kind of like a speak easy.
But without the thrill of doing something illegal.
Or so I imagine.

Here’s a picture of the outside.
Oh, and the food was very good.

Then we went here:

We had a great time.  Steve Tyrell was the host of the evening and he sang a lot of old, wonderful songs, accompanied by the excellent Houston Symphony.
And then there was intermission.
He came back, sang a song, and then everything went dark.
Very, very dark.
We thought it was part of the show. It was not.
Oh, and the sound went out …… along with the lights.
And they stayed out.

The guy playing the trumpet started playing after several mysterious and funny minutes, when we all realized this was not supposed to be happening. And so the singing started again. With the pianist using a borrowed cell phone for light.
And the orchestra just sitting there, twiddling their thumbs.
Or so I suppose.

The light that you see here is light from the first row …… and their cell phones. They turned them on and pointed them at him so that he could see …… and we could see him.
It was a riot.
🙂

For some strange reason the darkness made the audience feel free to sing along. For the rest of the songs, which I’m guessing were fewer than we would’ve had, had there been light.
And working microphones.
It was a very interesting evening.  I told Lori that I was certain this would not have happened, had she not brought me.  Because that’s just how my life rolls.                                                 Right?

I played tennis this morning and it was glorious.  The weather was cool, the sky was blue and the sun was shining.
We played three sets and I’d love to tell you that I played gloriously, but …… not so much.
However, on the bright side, I didn’t suck as much as I anticipated …… for someone who hasn’t played tennis since the first of November.
So there’s that.

Tonight I went to dinner with two of my lovely Circle friends and Daughter #2, who drove in from Waco today. Son #1 is also driving in this weekend.
It was a fun night.

I’m now sitting here with D#2’s dog, RG. He’s pretty relaxed.
Which is a rare thing. You can usually find him bouncing all over the house.
Literally.
He bounces higher than a kangaroo.
Or at least a small kangaroo.

I think that catches you up.
At least as much as I want to catch you up.
🙂

And now I shall leave you with some really cool pictures that I took from the plane on the way to Houston. We were up above the clouds and the sun was setting.
And I couldn’t stop taking pictures.
I hope you enjoy them.
🙂

…… is over for 2014.
It was a great weekend.

When last I left you it was Tuesday.
And now it’s Tuesday again.
So much has happened in one short week.

I left a cold NY for a warm, humid Tampa on Wednesday. I happened to fly out of Newark that day.
You know, as in …… Newark, New Jersey.
Now, I’ve flown out of that airport many, many times. And other than the morning after the-snowstorm-from-hell (where I thought I might be killed in the security line, where hundreds of people were waiting to pass on to their gates), there hasn’t been that much worth writing about.
But this time I discovered something new about the Newark airport.
I had just arrived at my gate and settled in with my Kindle to continue reading the Divergent series (I’m on book 3), when, out of the corner of my eye, I spied this guy:

Yep, that’s a pigeon. A rat with wings.
Walking underneath the rows of seats.
I looked up in surprise, looked at him, and then looked at the girl next to me.
She said, “I know, right?!”
Right.
He walked several several rows past mine and then headed back my way.
That’s when I noticed something.

He didn’t really have feet. One leg ended with no webbed foot at all, and the other one ended with something that looked like a clubbed foot.
I know.
But he walked around quite well.
And then he enjoyed sharing some french fries with me.
I’m a sucker for a club-footed pigeon.
(I’m wondering if he’s like, Newark’s mascot or something.)

Jim’s aunt and uncle picked me up at the airport in Tampa.
It was nice to spend some time with them.
They took me to their house so that I could change out of my winter clothes and put on something that would make me sweat a bit less.
Just between you and me …… there’s not many clothing items these days that make me sweat less.
I’m just sayin’.

After that we drove to Tarpon Springs, which is a small Gulf-side town founded by people of Greek descent. It almost felt like being in Greece.
Almost.

Not only are there lot of Greek families there …… there are a TON of sponges.
Yes, sponges.
I’ve never seen so many sponges in my life.
Nor had I seen a sponge museum.
Until Wednesday.

Yes, you read that right …… it was a SPONGE-O-RAMA!!
And yes, we did indeed get to watch a sponge movie.
It.
Was.
Riveting.
🙂

Here are more pics from the area outside of the museum.
A sponge-collecting boat (for want of a better name …… I guess I didn’t pay THAT much attention in the museum) 🙂

Sponges!!

There were a lot of pelicans eating around this fishing boat. They were cool. (And I saw huge pelicans in Tampa, flying above, and diving into, the water for dinner.)

This is a well-known Spanish restaurant in Tampa … supposedly the oldest and largest in the country. All I know is that it had very good food.

And then there was Camp.

I returned to a very warm and lovely New York today. Fortunately I’m getting the hell out of Dodge before the next snow storm hits here on Thursday.
I’m flying to Houston tomorrow.
Where I’ll go to the ortho to get impressions done for my upcoming retainers (which means I’m just about done with these braces!), check out a couple of houses that are on the market, play some tennis, go out to dinner with several friends, spend some time with Son #2, spend the weekend visiting with Son #1 and Daughter #2, who will be driving in, and spend some of the weekend with my dad, who will be leaving with my Mustang.
The Mustang Jim bought me for my 40th birthday.
I have loved that car.
But it needs to be driven and not sitting in a garage all of the time.
Even if I cry as it’s being driven away.

But I’m not going to leave you on that note.
Instead, I’m leaving you with me …… doing my Miley Cyrus impression as “Wrecking Ball” was being played Saturday night.
Enjoy.
And you’re welcome.
🙂

…… well, not really. More like a visit to an historical place.
I just couldn’t come up with a really good title.
So sue me.

Before I tell you about my visit to a really cool historical site, I’ll show you a picture of what I saw yesterday:

This was a hilarious show. It’s been around for 30 years and it lampoons shows and actors/actresses on Broadway. Current and past.
So it really behooves you to see a ton of Broadway shows before you see this. So you can, you know, get it.
Fortunately for me, I have, at one time or another, seen every single show they skewered.
And it was hysterical.
Only four people …… two men, two women …… and they were great. They had terrific voices and they could really imitate a lot of the actors.
It was a riot.

So that was yesterday.
After I died a dozen deaths at barre class.
And dripped at least 16 ounces of sweat.
And then froze in the 25 degrees snowy weather.

The me from two years ago would never have believed that I would’ve typed those last three sentences.
And she would’ve whined if she had to go out in less than 50 degrees.
Boy, has she gotten old.
And lost a lot of estrogen.

Anywhoooo …… today I went on a tour of the New York Federal Reserve with the Manhattan Women’s Club.
Or “The Fed” as we locals (and the guy who led the tour) calls it.
On the way I snapped a few pics so you could see the progress of Freedom Tower:

You can’t really tell how amazingly tall this building is, but it is.
As I was looking at it, it occurred to me that there are at least two jobs that I would never want.
Ever.
Really.
I’m talking EVER!

Here’s one:

Look closely. See that little rectangle up there? That’s an elevator-like thing that was moving UP the side of the building.
With people in it.
Seriously.

Here’s the other job I would never want:

You have to look at this picture even more closely.
Sorry about that. But this is as close as my iPhone could get.
See it? No? Yes?
In case you don’t …… way up there, high in the clouds, is one of those platforms hanging from ropes on each end. With guys cleaning the windows or doing whatever it is that they do up there.
I would be crying and throwing up.
Probably all at the same time.

Here’s what you should know about this side of NY …… it’s at the very most southern tip of the island. And in the winter you can not believe how incredibly, horrifically windy it is there.
I’m talking hurricane-like winds.
All. Of. The. Time.
As I was walking down there today I literally had to push my way through the wind. I think it’s the windiest place I’ve ever walked in.
And you can trust me on that. I went to Oklahoma State University, where the wind tunnel between Kerr-Drummond and Willham (two large dorms) was incredible.
So there.

Where was I?
Oh yes …… The Fed.
So we got to go 5 stories underground …… to the gold vault.
Where the largest storage of gold bars exists. True. Larger than Fort Knox. Or anywhere else in the world.
And where, ironically (or so I think) 98% of that gold belongs to other countries.
And where there’s no fee for storing your gold.
Just in case you have a large amount that you’d like to store.
Here’s the catch: you have to pay to have it moved. Any of it.
Pretty smart, huh?

So we went down to this air tight, water proof vault. Where this many-tons circular door locks the gold in safely.
So very safely that, when the vault is closed there are only 72 hours worth of air in it.
Now, I’ve never been one who suffers from claustrophobia.
Until today.
When …… while our tour guide was talking and not paying too much attention …… that many-tonned door started to close.
Really.
The most interesting part? There were over 20 of us down in that vault and the tour guide was talking to maybe 5 of us. And no one, not nary a person, said a word.
No, not even me.
I watched that door. And inside I was thinking, “Ummmmm, is that supposed to be closing? And oh, my word, are we going to be stuck down here with only 72 hours of air??!! And how long will it really be if over 20 women (and one man) are sucking up all that air???!!!!!!”
But just as I started to hyperventilate, the door reversed itself and started to open.
And I was very glad that I kept my manic thoughts to myself.

As we exited the vault we saw the man who was turning the huge wheel-turning-thingee (because I don’t know what else it’s called) …… and he had kind of a smirk on his face.
I thought about slapping him.
But I didn’t.

After we escaped left The Fed, we went to lunch at a place called Fraunces Tavern.
Here’s what it looks like from the outside:

This is where the historical part comes in (although The Fed is totally historical …… it was built in 1924).
The tavern was built in 1719 (I know!) to be a home for the Delancey family (don’t worry if you don’t know them …… they’re not that important, as you will now see). By the time it was finished, that area of town was no longer “fashionable” to live in. Talk about peer pressure!!!!!
So they never lived in it.
Keeping-Up-With-The-Joneses-Whores.

It was sold to Samuel Fraunces in 1762.
Yep, 42 years of paying for an empty house.
Go figure.

So this Fraunces guy was a pretty decent cook and he evidently found in niche in early New York. In fact, he was the first person to start “take out”. No kidding.
Anyway, this tavern was very, we’re talking VERY, popular. Of course, during this period in NY the average adult drank 18 gallons of alcohol a year (that’s a quote …… I did NOT make it up), so most taverns were popular.
But this tavern saw a lot of action. In fact, when the Revolutionary War was over, General George Washington gave his “farewell” to his officers there on December 4th, 1783 (check Wikopedia if you’d like). There were over 150 people at this event. And George cried as he said goodbye. As did every other man in the room.
Make of that what you will.

Here are some pictures of the rooms where they, and the New York Tea Party (WHO knew that there was a NY Tea Party that dumped tea in the river, too??!) and the Sons of The Revolution met. You know, guys like Jefferson, Franklin, Adams, etc.
Pretty dang cool, if you’re in to that sort of thing.
And I am.

So there you go.
A simple blog post.
That maybe taught you a little bit of history.
You’re welcome.

Oh, and here’s a pic of where I caught the subway:

What movie does this bring to mind?
If you thought “Working Girl”, kudos to you.
If you didn’t. you need to go rent/download/or whatever that movie.
So fun.

So that’s it for today.
Oh, except for this.
As I waited for the subway/train to go back uptown, a guy asked me if this was the uptown train.
I told him that it was.
And then I added, “You’re about as downtown as it gets.” Because we really were. There was no train coming from the opposite direction. There was just a wall.
I felt so New York-ish.
I love it when people ask me for directions.
And I can give them a correct answer.
🙂

…… well, kind of.
Not really a cooking surprise so much as a cooking class surprise.

I found this class via one of my NY emails. I receive emails from a few sites that tell me all about all of the exciting things going on in the city. Well, not all of them, but quite a few.
So I saw this cooking class and signed up. The site gave me the address of the location and I added it to my calendar. It wasn’t all that far from my apartment …… less than 2 miles.

So last night I hopped on the subway and headed north. I only had to walk a few blocks until I found the address.
The address of the Jewish Community Center. I didn’t think too much about that, other than it was interesting, and I headed inside.
You have to go through security, like at the airport, to get into the building. Another interesting feature, but not hugely surprising here.
You’ll be happy to know that I breezed through.
Well, I breezed through after one of the guards had to unwind my scarf from around my neck and underneath my hood. A bit embarrassing, but what are you going to do? It was stuck.

I headed downstairs and, after searching for at least 5 minutes, finally found the cooking class. It was in a large room with more than a full-sized kitchen. There were several women there, all around a large island, chatting. I signed in, found a seat, and an apron, and sat down with them. I was the last to arrive (of course).
Everyone introduced themselves and then the instructor asked a very interesting question:
“Does anyone here keep kosher?”
I then looked at each of the 5 other women and it was suddenly very evident that, out of the six women in that room, there was only one who was not Jewish.
And guess who that was?

As one of the women raised her hand to indicate that she did indeed keep kosher, my right hand slowly raised to my neck. And I started to oh-so-slowly-yet-hopefully-VERY-inconspicuously button the top two buttons of my blouse.
I tried to appear as if I was intent on what was being said, instead of buttoning my buttons. I have no idea if I succeeded, but after what seemed an eternity, I finally got them done.

You see, I really didn’t give this much thought upon entering the building, but once she asked that question and I realized that I was the only non-Jewish person in the room, I suddenly became very award of my silver and diamond cross necklace.
And no, I didn’t button up my blouse for the reason Daughter #3 exclaimed when I told her this story: “Jesus knows that you were ashamed of him!!”
It wasn’t that at all. I was suddenly aware of my necklace and didn’t want to offend anyone. Not one bit. And I felt that my very sparkly silver cross might do just that.
As I was trying to nonchalantly button my buttons I was also trying to remember the web site that had sent me the email. It seemed like the instructor assumed that we all were Jewish, so I wondered if had made some kind of mistake. Had I received an email in Hebrew? No, last time I checked I couldn’t read Hebrew so that wasn’t it.
Had I received an email from the JCC by mistake? No, I certainly would have noticed if that had happened, wouldn’t I?
I’m still not sure where that email came from, but I’m glad it did.

I had a great time. Those women were hilarious and sometimes very Jewish-sounding. For instance, one woman asked the instructor what all of the stuff left behind in a can of beans was (?!) and she replied, “Schmaltz”. They used a few more Yiddish words/terms during the evening and every time they did, I smiled. I loved it. The only thing that would’ve made it better was if one of them exclaimed, “Oy vey!”
Sadly, they did not.

I really didn’t learn anything new, other than a fabulously easy and fast way to make applesauce, but I had a great time.
And I took home a large catalogue containing all of the winter/spring classes they’re offering at the JCC.
I still don’t know for certain if they’re open to the non-Jewish persuasion, but I’m just going with it.
Maybe I’ll meet a nice Jewish doctor!

🙂

…… seem to be occupying my time lately.
Well, not really cooking. But I’m going to a cooking class tonight. Before you get too excited, it’s not anything cool like a Sushi class, or how to cook Thai.
Nope. It’s called, “Easy Meals Straight From Your Pantry”.
It sounds pretty dull, but I thought it beat sitting at home with no Olympics to watch.
The funny thing is, I think this will be a huge challenge for me. Not the class itself, but coming home and using whatever I learn.
That’s because my pantry is …… well, it’s just plain pathetic.
And pathetically plain.

You see, Daughter #1 is getting ready to move this week so her items in the pantry are dwindling.
And Daughter #3, well, Daughter #3 is eating …… “clean”.
Ugh.
HUGE ugh.

So, as long as this class tells me what to do with bananas, quinoa, pumpkin seeds, barley and a can of tomato soup …… I’m golden.

We also have a little tequila and vodka.
Maybe I’ll just stay home and have a banana margarita screwdriver.
What?

On the movie front …… I saw three of them last week.
On Friday, to be exact.
Oh, don’t even! You know that if you had a foggy, yucky day to do nothing but go to three movies, you’d totally do it.

And just because I’m a nice person …… I’ll share my thoughts/reviews of these films.
You’re welcome.

So, in no particular order (other than the order I saw them), here are the movies:

This movie/documentary was terrific.
I want to be her when I grow up. Elaine Stritch is one of the most “real” celebrities I’ve ever seen. I think she always has been, which is why she’s had a rather, shall we say ‘less than positive’ reputation. She cuts to the chase and accepts no B.S. And she doesn’t take it, either.
Yes, she has a mouth like a sailor sometimes, but she’s had an amazing career and she’s still here …… at 87.
This movie follows her as she plans a new show to do here in NY and on the road. It shows the positive things in her life and the oh, so scary things that come with getting older (not “old” …. she hates that term, but “oldER”).
She’s one of a kind and the world will a less colorful place when she’s no longer in it.

This movie will not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I liked it. You have to be able to completely surrender any thought of reality to watch it …… if you’re going to like it. You have to just let it be what it is, without trying to scientifically explain anything that happens.
It has a great love story and it goes beyond that to become a love of humanity story. Collin Farrell is nice o look at, Russell Crowe is fun to hate and Will Smith makes an interesting, if rather hokey, surprise appearance.

Now I happen to like Kevin Costner. I’m not sure what he’s been doing over the past few years, but it’s been a while since I’ve seen a movie of his.
I’m guessing that maybe he was home, spending time with the kids, who are all now either in, or ready for, college.
That’s because the only reason I can come up with for him making this movie, is the need for money. College-costing money.
Because oh … my … word the pain of sitting through this movie.

I knew from the point the theme music started that this movie had an up hill battle. That’s because the music sounded like something out of a 70’s movie. Seriously.
And that’s not good.

The story was lame, the lines were sometimes horribly hokey and the film editing was awful. There were quite a few scenes where one of the actors was talking, but the words you heard didn’t match his/her moving lips.
No kidding.

I’d like to have my $14 (yes, that’s how much a movie in NY is, can you believe that?!) back, as well as that 90 or so minutes of my life.
See it at your own risk.
Or avoid it all costs.

So there you go. I’m not a professional movie critic, but I love movies. I think that’s the only qualification you need to offer a review.
This doesn’t mean that everyone’s going to agree with me. So if you go see one, two or all three of these movies and end up totally disagreeing with me …… I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that you don’t have more taste.
🙂

I was invited to another movie screening last night, so of course I went. It, as usual, was a movie that hasn’t been released yet. They screen it before audiences to get their reactions. You have to fill out a long survey afterwards and sometimes you get invited to meet with the film makers afterward, as a focus group, to discuss your thoughts with them.
I was invited to do that last night.
Until after the movie ended.
And I gave it a “poor” on my survey, rather than a “good” or “excellent”.
Seriously.
My invitation was revoked.
I thought about changing it to “good” so that I could still go, but in the end I decided to take the high ground and not cave in to rate it better than it deserved.
A lot of good that got me.

I wish I could tell you which movie it is, but they make you take a blood oath that you won’t discuss/write/blog about it until …… or IF …… it comes out.
For your sake, I hope it doesn’t come out.
I will try to warn you as soon as I know it’s premiered.

Until then, go find this movie, which was the first screening I attended, and see it. I think it’s Oscar-worthy, in more than one category.
Maybe that’s just me, but I’m ok with that.
🙂

This is a very, very good movie. It’s visually beautiful and Colin Firth is always a good bet. He does a fabulous job here. The actor who plays his character at a younger age, Jeremy Irvine, is amazingly good.
Nicole Kidman gives a good performance, although I didn’t truly understand her character, or the relationship. But I could let go of that to go with the rest of it.
It’s difficult to watch sometimes, but that goes along with the topic (being in a prisoner of war camp run by the Japanese during WW2).
But it’s also a beautiful, beautiful story.

OK, that’s all.
It’s time for me to bundle up and head out into the freezing cold/bitter wind to go learn what dishes I can make with bulgar wheat and fresh spinach.
Oh, and either almond milk or soy.
Wish me luck!

…… well, not really, but evidently another snow/ice storm is heading this way.
You can tell because the mayor has already decided to have all government offices closed tomorrow.  Kind of reminds me of the last time they predicted a huge snowstorm ….. and certain airlines decided to shut down 18 hours before one snowflake fell.

“They” say we’re supposed to get anywhere from 6 – 14 inches.  Which probably means we’ll get 2.  Because being a weatherman …… really?!  What other job allows a person to constantly get things wrong, and yet come back to work every day??  Score!

I have to admit that I’m starting to feel a bit guilty.  It seems as if I’m the only person in the city of New York who isn’t upset that we’re getting more snow.  Seriously, every person I’ve come into contact with, friends and strangers, has expressed extreme disgust that we’re getting more snow.  They’ve had enough ….. they’re sick of snow.                                                                  Me?  I’m looking forward to more snow.  I’m ready to do another snow angel.  I’m loving the winter up here.

I know!  I find it just as shocking as you do!  I’m the one who never even liked to go outside if it was below 45 degrees.  Go figure.  I think I’m just really tired of sweating.  And I don’t have to drive here, so that helps.

I’m still doing the Barre class and look to forward to the days when I go.  Or at least I did, until I went to class tonight.  I’m starting to really hate the woman who led the class tonight.  They have several teachers who rotate, and I get her at least once a week.  I got about half way through the class today and didn’t have to stop one time, which was a huge first.  This woman must’ve sensed my delight because she shut it down very quickly.  Now I’m not usually prone to paranoia, but I think she’s out to get me.  Or at least to make me quit.  Tonight it was as if she could tell which set I was having the most difficulty with (trust me, it’s not that hard to sense …. I struggle with balancing on my butt bones, keeping my legs straight and up in the air, keeping my hands behind my head with my elbows out to the side, and doing crunches. Basically balancing in a V shape.  You try it.)

Once she knew that I was really struggling to do that set for 90 seconds, she added on another set of them.  Or so it seemed that’s why she did it.  It was at that point that I may have silently called her a not-so-nice-name and decided that I hated her.  Ten minutes later I was vowing to go straight to the liquor store after class and buying a bottle of skinny margaritas …… just to spite her.  No, she had no way of knowing that’s what I was going to do, nor did I plan on returning to the studio to show her my purchase, so I don’t know how that was going to spite her.  Nor did I care.                                                                                                                       But I have to tell you …… that thought helped push me through the rest of the class.  That, and the thought that tomorrow we’re going to have a ton of snow/ice/rain, but I don’t have to go to class since I did it tonight.  The thought of being able to sleep in, and hoping she couldn’t, also helped push me to the end.                                                                                                               And I vow, as God is my witness, that she will not push me to quit.  Nor any of my kinfolk.         After all, tomorrow is another day.                                                                                                     🙂

Night ya’ll …… and happy Wednesday/Thursday.                                                                             🙂

…… this week.

Yes, I know that I seem to always have “firsts”, but this one was pretty meaningful.
And no, I’m not talking about getting stuck in the elevator. That was the week before.

Thursday night I decided to watch The Tonight Show, which was a pretty big decision since I don’t enjoy Jay Leno. I could give you a list of reasons, but let’s just keep this positive, shall we?
(And really, in the scheme of things, it wasn’t all that “big” of a decision. I can sometimes stretch things a bit. Oh, whatever. I’m the writer ….. I can do what I want.)

Back to the positive.
I decided to watch his show that night because, as anyone who hasn’t been living under a rock knows, it was his last show. And I knew that there would be a lot of neat guests. I didn’t know who, other than Billy Crystal, but he was enough for me.

I wasn’t disappointed.
And I was pleasantly surprised when he announced Garth Brooks.
Jim loved Garth.
And not just because he was at Oklahoma State at the same time we were.
For those of you who don’t know, Garth worked as a bouncer in one of the more popular bars.
And no, he never bounced me, thank you very much.
I have never been bounced out of a bar.
As far as I can remember.

ANYWAY, Garth was a favorite of Jim’s. He told me the song, “Full House” was about us. Obviously.
(It really wasn’t …… unless Jim knew something I didn’t. 🙂

Thursday night Garth sang a song that has meant a lot to me since Jim died. I had it embedded on my other blog. I love it, although I haven’t been able to listen to it/watch him sing it without crying for a little over 6 years.
Until last night.

As soon as Garth started strumming his guitar I knew what song he was getting ready to sing.
And I involuntarily let out an audible sigh, along with what I think was an, “Ohhh:.
Daughter #1 left the room.
Now I can’t be sure that she wasn’t just going to do something that needed to be done, but I suspect that she wanted to be no where near me while he sang that song. She’s seen what usually happens.

The song is “The Dance”.
And here’s the clip of him singing it Thursday night.
(Some of you might want to grab a tissue …… or 5).

But the strangest thing happened. As he started to sing, I just kind of tilted my head, and had a small smile on my face. I didn’t sing along with him, but I kind of nodded in time.
And remembered.
So much.

But I didn’t cry.
And that shocked me.
But pleased me, too.
If you’re widowed, I know you get that.

It still felt kind of bittersweet, but more sweet than bitter.
A lot has changed.

Now, if he had started singing “If Tomorrow Never Comes”, I have no doubt that I would’ve sat there sobbing, as usual.
Not everything has changed.

Jim also loved that song.
That’s because, as the lyrics say, he used to sometimes watch me sleep at night and think about how he felt about me.  (He didn’t do this on a regular basis …… that would’ve been creepy!)
One night, years ago, while he sat and watched me sleep, he wrote me a letter and told me how he felt.
I cried when I read it.
He pretty much wrote that song to me …… years before Garth ever sang it …… telling me that he wanted me to always know, without a doubt, how much he loved me.  So that if anything ever happened to him, I’d always be certain.
(Which begs the question ….. did Garth somehow get ahold of Jim’s letter and totally steal that song?! I’ll have to Google that later.)

So yeah, Garth brings me memories of Jim.
Happy memories.
Sweet memories.
Touching memories.
Emotional memories.

Even if he makes me cry, I still love listening to him/watching him.
Because he helps me remember what a great husband I really had …… one that wasn’t afraid to make sure I knew how very much I meant to him …… and always would.  No matter what.
I was blessed.
I am blessed.

So another first.
A good first.
It sure beats getting stuck in an elevator.

But even if there was a chance that I might have gotten teary later …… Garth ended with this song (which I did sing along with and smile hugely at!):
I couldn’t find the clip from Thursday.  In fact, I couldn’t find a good clip at all.  So please just get past the age of this one (Grammy Awards 1991) and try your best to ignore the dude speaking Spanish over the intro.  I promise he stops after that.
(I’m now seriously wondering if this was worth all of the trouble!)

Happy Saturday/Sunday, Peeps.

Oh …. and GO USA!!!!!!!!

…… is what it felt like here last night.

So I went out and took several pictures to show all of you.
You’re welcome.
🙂

I took this picture around mid-morning, after it had been snowing for several hours. We were told that the snow would start around midnight, but would be very light and less than 1 or 2 inches.
Oh to have a job where you get paid, even though you’re wrong most of the time. 🙂

This was a few hours later …… as it was still snowing …… hard.
The snow didn’t start around midnight. It started somewhere around 6:00 a.m. And snowed and snowed ……

And snowed ……

And snowed ……

And just kept snowing!!! Until around 7:00. P.M.!!!

Then I left to go to a private, preview screening of a new movie. It was a rough cut, still not totally finished with the editing and stuff. But it. Was. Amazing!!!
And that’s all I can tell you about that because we had to sign our life away, swearing that we wouldn’t talk to ANYONE about the movie ….. or BLOG about it. If I do then they will come and take my first born child, and I don’t think she’d be too happy about that. I tried to negotiate with them and offer them one of the younger kids, but they were sticklers for their bossy rules.
So …… just be assured that when it does come out, I will be shouting from the roof tops …… or maybe just Face Book …… for everyone to go see it.
After the movie I dropped my purse off at the apartment, got my phone and started walking around taking pics.
These are the results:

Oh, wait. This is a picture of the offending elevator, which was shut off for 2 days. See that little square next to it on the left upper corner? Well, that’s supposed to have a number lit up in it. Which it doesn’t.
I’m guessing that I was not the last person to be trapped in there.

This is a little park area behind my building:

You can tell what these are.  I thought they looked SO cool!

Another group of bikes:

Newspaper machines.  They look a little forlorn.

I loved the clock peeking through behind these trees.  You can’t really tell it’s a clock, but it’s that round thing that’s lit up.

See the statue?

How ’bout now?

I thought these trees were beautiful …… thus a plethora of pics of them.

The snow covered the north side of the tree trunks.

The ends of the branches had tear drop-shaped icicles.  SO pretty.

Ummmm, no idea.  I walked by there today and the bottom half was still covered in snow.  Not that I care.  But I thought it was hilarious.

A quiet side street:

Look!  I made a snow angel!  OK, I cheated and made it with my hands.  I was by myself and it’s too difficult to do a selfie while making a snow angel.  Trust me.

And last, but certainly not least, my coral-colored boots.  They make me happy.  And they seem to make other people happy, too, because I feel friendlier when I’m wearing them.  I made a lot of people smile today.  With me, NOT at me.

OK, that was the winter wonderland.  We’re supposed to get a lot more snow either tonight or tomorrow …… I can’t remember which.

I can’t believe that I’m enjoying the cold so much.  Those of you who know me well, know that a year or so ago I was a self-admitted wimp when it came to the cold.  But I’m loving it now.  And I sleep with one of my windows open all night, which means that it’s about 55 or so in the morning in my room  LOVE IT!

After doing 6 (SIX!) barre classes in a row last week/weekend, I decided to back off and do it every other day (thank you, Daughter #3 and everyone who gave me their opinion of FB).  So I didn’t go yesterday, which made me look forward to i today.  I KNOW!  This was the first time I’ve really looked forward to getting my butt kicked!  And it did, but I felt great afterwards.  Great, as in, I did it!  I still can’t do every single move without taking tiny 2 second breaks once in a while, but I’m getting there.
I can say with 100% certainty that this is THE hardest workout I’ve ever done in my life.  Hands down.  I’ve done yoga, pilates, running (ugh), sports face-paced workouts, etc.  Nothing compares.  And that makes me proud of myself when I’m done.  And panting.  And knocking back water as fast as I can.  And wobbling out the door.

OK, that’s it for now.  I hope you enjoyed the pics.  I enjoyed taking them.  It sounds like you’ll be seeing more in a day or so.
Stay warm!!!

And Happy Tuesday/Wednesday!
🙂