A Very Long Case of ……

…… the blahs.

It’s what I have and what I’ve had for a long while now. Life isn’t bad. It’s ok. It’s just …… blah.
I miss him.
And always.
And forever.

But it’s also beyond that.
I think.
I’m really not sure what’s going on or why it’s going on.
Other than I’m living in Waco, where I really have no life.
Yes, I could probably do something about that, but that’s the thing about the blahs.
They kind of make you feel tired and not motivated to do much.

Yes, the blahs sound very much like depression, but I don’t think that’s it.
I think it’s just beyond time to be in NY.
At least I hope that’s what it is.

I’m leaving in 6 days.
And I can hardly wait.
Although I’m going back with a little more on my plate.
This is Gracie on the right …… and Georgie (George Burns …… kudos to those of you who are old enough to get that) on the left. He’s been here about 3 weeks or so. The two of them are finally getting along …… most of the time.
And he’s so very loving and really good.
Except for the fact that I can’t seem to convince him to get litter box trained.
And I’m about to pull my hair out.
So yeah …… the blahs.

I’ve had my two houses on the market for over a month now.
And though the market is supposedly “hot” right now in this part of Texas …… there’s been very little traffic.
Which is beyond frustrating.
And blah-inducing.

Our family home that I sold a couple of years ago …… well, I did a very stupid thing. Some people call it nice. I still think it was stupid. I offered to carry the note for the family who was renting the house, knowing that it was the only way they’d be able to stay in the house and my heart really felt for them. They’ve been through a lot.
And they promised that things were different and were very excited.
And now I’m in the middle of a foreclosure.
Which makes me sick to my stomach.
And adds to the blah-ness.

I left Oregon at the first of July.
I don’t think I’ll be going back.
Alcohol makes some people very mean.
And kind of insane.
And it makes them lash out at the people who are there.
So, I don’t plan on being there.

Daughter #2 is still fostering a toddler girl. Her life is beyond crazy. She doesn’t know how I did it.
And I’m not sure that I remember how I did.
I’m giving her a weekend away from the kids this weekend. I’ll be taking care of the kids Fri-Sun.
All prayers/good thoughts/tons of energy are welcomed and needed. 🙂

I think that’s all of the catching up/whining I think I have.
For now.
It’s been so long since I’ve written a post.
Too long.
But I’m not sure that there’s anyone out there anymore anyway.

This is pretty boring, if I do say so myself.
And I realize that the blahs are just really me whining.
I just …… miss him.
Damn it.

14 thoughts on “A Very Long Case of ……

  1. Joni

    I’m still here. You are an awesome mom/grandma. I hope you can get the houses sold. Are you sure you really want to leave Texas? We will miss ya. You know there are still plays going on at WCT?!

  2. oakhoopscoach

    I get the blahs. I get the missing. Sigh. Hope getting to NYC will help a bit! Have fun with the kiddos this weekend! What a great Gigi you are. And great mom! Love you.

  3. Janet Sellars

    Janine yeah think everyone has the blah’s right now. Think it is going around for many of us. I’ve missed your blogs but also know you have been quiet busy. Sorry you are having to deal with the foreclosure which is no fun. I miss my hubby too so I get that. We always will. Sending lots of (((Hugs))) and positive vibes your way.

  4. Ruth

    I’m still here and still look forward to your posts! I know the blahs all too well. I also know that they pass. I don’t know how to usher them out of my life. Time spent with grandchildren sounds like a great idea. Enjoy your weekend!

  5. Wendie Tobin

    This is SO much! I can’t believe you were so generous as to carry a note on a house. Who DOES this? What a wasted heavensent opportunity! (I know, I know… things happen.) I’m sorry you are shouldering so much. I hope your burdens lighten soon enough. You really are such an amazing soul. I’m not sure if you are aware of this.

  6. Laura

    The blahs are so hard. And they don’t always have a reason we can pin point. Either way I’m sorry you are feeling it and hopeful for good news on the house sale. Maybe a crazy busy weekend with the giggles of little children will snap the blah streak?!

  7. auntieali1

    I’m still here! Sorry you’ve got the blahs.
    Love the new pup’s name. Do you tell her to “Say good night, Gracie”? I’d probably do it often josh to make myself giggle. 😉
    Hang in as best as you can … hopefully some grandbaby time will help (or at least will make you too tired to remember)!

  8. Jennifer

    I’m still here! I may get up to NYC a little more, I’ll let you know! Frank may have a little work up there sometimes, so I’ll be looking for some company! Love you! Jennifer

  9. Diane

    I’m still here. – I’m just past the 1 year mark and having a no good very bad day. I’m trying not to drown in self pity. Your post is a timely remindr I’m not alone In being up to my ears in hard life.

    Hang in there!!!

  10. Debra Elliott

    I’m so sorry you’re going through all this
    Painful stuff right now. Maybe when you get to
    New York you’ll feel the excitement of life again.
    George & Gracie are so adorable. We’re now
    Living in Ga. I hope you feel better soon. I’ve missed reading your blogs now I understand why, you’ve
    A lot on your shoulders now. Love ya Sista

  11. Kellie

    We had two black labs, our very first ‘babies’ and their names were George and Gracie. They are adorable and I hope you leave the blahs in Waco.


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