There Should Be Two ……

…… hearts sharing this wonderful and exciting time in Daughter #3’s life.


There should be two of us hugging each other in our excitement, love and tears at how thrilled we are for her and yet how fast time has flown.
There should be two of us thinking that it was only yesterday when she started kindergarten.
There should be two of us talking about what a wonderful man she’s chosen to spend the rest of her life with.

There should be two.
But there’s not.
There’s just me.
Just me thinking all of this and wishing he were here.

I truly am happy, excited and thrilled for my beloved daughter.
And for the man who will become my son.
This young man who reminds me so very much of Jim.
There’s no better compliment that I could give him.

But there should have been two of us there when he asked me for my blessing in marrying our daughter.
We both should have been there to give him that blessing.
Yet there was only me feeling like my heart would burst from the love of her becoming one with him.
And only me feeling like my heart would break because Jim wasn’t there.

I’m so excited at this new chapter in her life. In their lives.
And I’m so lonely without him here to share this excitement with me.
He would love this young man.
He would agree that we now have a Son #4.
He would agree that Christ will be the 3rd person in this marriage, and we couldn’t ask for more.
He would agree that this man will love our daughter the way that she deserves to be loved.
Just as Jim loved me.

There should be two of us.
But there’s not.

There’s just me.
Standing in for the two of us.
Knowing that he’d be proud of this man and happy for our daughter.

That knowledge helps.
A lot.
But it’s still just me.

Where there should be two.

6 thoughts on “There Should Be Two ……

  1. Jo Goedert

    Oh so very true. I’m so sad that you are the one who has to share that. Most of us would take it for granted. Dear Lord, help you make your peace with it & see the good. 🙏

  2. maureen

    Oh God Janine,

    Our baby is going to turn 15 tomorrow……my heart is with you as that is so much on my mind…..there should be two of us to celebrate her…..there should be two of us.


  3. Phyllis

    What a blessing it is when one of our children find true love with a godly man. Congratulations on getting another son.

  4. lifelossandhope

    Oh, Janine. I know… I know exactly how you feel. My second daughter, Sarah, was married after Don died. At least he was here when she brought her fellow home to California from New York to meet us. And we liked him, and he liked us. Not only was it hard to have a wedding without Don, but he and Bill had so much more to talk about as time passed, and they would still be talking about it… Don was so philosophical, and Bill is so, well, he’s an anarchist in his thinking… So when the wedding came about, I walked her down the “aisle”; she always wanted a wedding in my mom and dad’s back yard, where Don and I were married, too. It occurred on the day my parents celebrated their 68th anniversary. It was September 3rd. My dad died the following January. Then the newlyweds had another wedding in Texas, for Bill’s family and friends who couldn’t make it out to California, and I walked her down the aisle again. She told me she wanted something to acknowledge her dad at the wedding, but nothing really obvious, so we had an extra boutonnière made, and put it on the chair next to mine. During the ceremony in CA, I saw a large white butterfly fly over them, circle twice and fly away. No one else saw that. Was it Don? I’ll never really know.
    But I know you’re happy for your daughter, and this will be a wonderful occasion, and while someone is missing, he will be there with you, in your hearts, in your memories, and perhaps in spirit. Sorry this is so long…


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