Tag Archives: Hope

An Addendum ……

…… to last night’s post.

I forgot to write about THE most important lesson I learned yesterday.
Seriously.
And it’s another cab lesson.

Most of the cabs here have monitors in the back that show entertainment blurbs about stuff going on in NY. It’s entertaining, unless you’re in the cab long enough to see it loop around several times.

But yesterday I saw a blurb that I hadn’t seen before. Last month the city passed a new law: the speed limit in NYC is now 30 mph. They wanted to make it 25, but the mayor gave in at 30. From 40, I think.
If you’ve never been here you need to know that no one ever follows the speed limit. Not at 40 and certainly not at 30.

So, this is the blurb/commercial that I saw:

“If you hit someone at 40 mph they have a 70% chance of dying.
If you hit someone at 30 mph they have an 80% chance of living.”

And that was it.
Really, seriously, and truly …… that was the entire message.
So it sounds like hitting someone is inevitable. It’s going to happen, so just make sure you hit them at 30 mph …… unless it’s someone you don’t like, and then rev it up to 40.
Good to know.
(OK, the next to the last sentence is just my thought. It wasn’t implied in the commercial. For those of you who are more literal than most.)

In other news …… I had the best time tonight! Yes, at the supper club (which was Studio 54, for any of you who know that name) that I was leery of going to because I’d be by myself, seated at a table with other people.
I will never be leery of that again.

When I arrived I was taken to a table and a seat where I sat next to a woman, who came with her mom, who sat across from her. They were chatting with a woman who sat on the other side of the daughter. On my other side there was an empty chair, and then a woman who sat across from her husband, and both were staring at their cell phones.
Those two were next to the stage. Front and center. It was a great table in that sense.
I was perusing the menu, not talking to anyone, when 3 men came up to the couple at the end and started saying hi and hugging them. It was clear that one of the men was friends with this couple and had not seen them in a while. One of the men sat next to me and the two others sat across from me.
The man directly across from me started talking to the mom and daughter, introducing himself. He said that they were from Houston. So I piped up and said that I, too, was from Houston. He was surprised and asked where in Houston and I told him.
Then he told us that he and his partner (the guy sitting next to me) had seen these two women (who were the people doing the show) 18 years ago in Houston. They loved them so much that when he saw they were performing in NY, he got airline tickets immediately to come see them.
I was impressed.
And glad that I had received one of my great emails about the show, and decided to see it.

He then somehow mentioned that he and his partner were on the board of a small theatre in Houston.
I, being the theatre person that I am, asked which one. To which he replied, “Stages”.
The theatre that Daughter #1 did her internship at six years ago.
Yes, really.
He was surprised and asked her name. I told him and he recognized the name, though he wasn’t sure if he had ever met her.
He then texted the director of the theatre to tell him that he was having dinner with Daughter #1’s mom. The director replied, “You’re kidding!!!?”.
Small world.

Then I remembered that one of Daughter #2 and #3’s friends has performed quite a few times at that theatre. So I asked him if he knew her.
He stared at me incredulously for a moment and then said, “Yes, we know her well!” I said that I had known her since she was 14, or younger. He then texted this young lady to tell her that he was having dinner with me. And she replied, “Whaaaaaaaat??!!!”
And now the four of us (and hopefully Daughter #3) are going to dinner Sunday night.
Very small world.

The women who sang tonight were really wonderful. They’re sisters and the show is called “Sibling Revelry”. One has been the lead in 6 Broadway shows (one of them “Cats”). The other has won several music awards. They both sang (and one wrote) the theme song of “The Nanny”, which we all sang together. 🙂

It was a very fun night.
It was great to meet these men, who have been together for 33 years. THIRTY THREE years.
Amazing. Not many couples, no matter what gender they are, can claim that.
The one next to me is a doctor in Houston, and he and I sang along with quite a few songs (when it was appropriate). He claimed that I was his new best friend and that we should travel together.

After the show a woman came up to me and asked if I had known the words to every single song. I admitted that I did not. There were two or three that I’d never heard before. She said that was surprising and that she had enjoyed watching us sing along.
Evidently she couldn’t really hear us all that well.
Thankfully.

As the show was getting ready to end, one of the sisters came out into the audience to talk to a few people. She came to our table and asked a couple of questions to the party on the other end (3 guys and 2 women). One of the men asked if he could say something. She looked surprised but gave him the mic. He thanked the two of them for bringinf music to people and making them feel better. Then he stood up, took out a small box, and proposed to his partner, who was sitting next to him. And who was hugely surprised.
The entire room erupted into applause and congrats, and the waiters brought out a cake with sparklers. The men’s mothers were there, but had been at a table on the other side of the room, so that the man being proposed to wouldn’t see them. They were very happy and excited and there were hugs all around.

The proposal:

The sparkler cake:

And while this might not be a popular thought …… I was very proud to be living in a city where a room full of people could celebrate and encourage love. No condemnation, no judging, just simple support of love.

It was quite a night.
I’m so happy that I went, and didn’t let being alone stop me.
I smiled as I walked home.
I love this city.
Ridiculously and totally love it.
It’s not a perfect place, but no place is.
But I still love it. Faults and all.

And I’m really going to miss it during the month of May.
But hopefully I’ll love being in Texas …… and in the house that will be my home.

Lessons Learned ……

Now, THAT ……

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…… was a blast.

I just got home from attending “Drunk Shakespeare”. And it was SO much fun.
I received an email about it yesterday. And a discount code. So I decided to go. I may have to go again.
And again.

They’ve been doing it for 3 weeks and the regular priced ticket is only $30. I only paid $14. Pretty good deal, right?

It’s a company of about 2 girls and 3 guys and they perform this in a bar down on 44th. A pretty decent bar. Upstairs.

They take turns choosing one of them to be the one who has to do shots, and bigger servings, at the whim of the audience.
It was hilarious.
Tonight they performed “Macbeth”.
And all things considered, they did a great job.
And they were hilarious.

Here are some pics from the evening:

This is me, in the mirror.

This is the guy who had to drink. Obviously.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself and highly recommend it.

Afterwards, the guy who sat next to me asked me if I wanted to go downstairs and have a drink.
I respectfully declined. He was very nice and was in NY for business and is returning to England on Thursday.
But I had 3 (small) margaritas over the two hour performance, so I decided that I didn’t need anything else to drink.
That, and I have barre class early in the morning.

The weather did a bizarre turn today.
Yesterday it was beautiful and around 70.
At this moment it’s 35 and snowing.
Yes, snowing.
And hour ago it was 45 and raining.
Go figure.

Yesterday it looked and felt like spring.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll be taking pictures of snow angels.
Ha!

Actually, I’ll be too busy to take many pictures.
I have barre class, then have to rush home and get ready for our monthly book club meeting, then leave that early to go with a group to see a play, “The Realistic Joneses”. I don’t know much about it, except that Toni Collette is in it and it got a great review in The Times.
(I try not to read too much about any show I’m going to see …… it seems to work better that way. Except for “Spiderman”. I should’ve TOTALLY read the reviews on that.)

Then tomorrow evening I’m going to see Idina Menzel’s new show, “If Then”.
Otherwise known as Adele Dazeem to John Travolta.

Writing all of that just made me realize that I need to go to bed.
Like now.

See ya later.
🙂

As Close As I’ll Ever Get ……

Another Week ……

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…… in pictures.

It was a great week. As most of them are, here in NY.
There is ALWAYS something to do.
And there are ALWAYS free things to do.
Whoop!

So, my friend Kelley scored two comp tickets to see the comedienne Elayne Boosler. And she invited me to go with her. She and Elayne are friends and I was thrilled to go with her. I’ve liked Elayne for eons! Or so it seems.
It was a great evening. Elayne was hilarious, as I expected, and she was also very, very nice. We hung out until most of the crowd was gone so that she and Kelley could talk.
And take pictures, of course.
I thoroughly enjoyed the evening.
And now Elayne and I are friends on Face Book.
WHOOP!!!!
This is Elayne with Joy Behar. They’re good friends.

This is Elayne with Kelley and me. 🙂

I signed up for a free walking tour of Greenwich Village earlier this week. The following pics are from that day. It was a lot of fun and VERY interesting!

This was the building that housed medical services for the hired help back in the day. That class of folks couldn’t afford to go to ordinary doctors, so this was a place where they could go and be treated.
It later became a dental office building, but now it sits empty. That’s because the original deed states that it has to be used as a building that offers public services and the building needs so much updating that no one wants to buy it.

I took this picture so that you could see that this building is built in the shape of a triangle. If you look through these windows, you can see through the windows on the opposite side of the building.
There are quite a few triangle-shaped buildings in Greenwich.

This is a building that connects to an underground tunnel, which was used for the Underground Railroad surrounding the Civil War.

See that door down there? That door leads to a tunnel that runs under the street and up a ways. So very cool.

This is the only wooden house left in NYC:

This is the building where the girls lived on “Friends”. Recognize it?

This is the coffee shop on the first floor of the building that the “friends” sat in all of the time.
Only it’s not really a coffee shop. And it’s not called Central Perk. It’s a nice restaurant that takes weeks to get in to.

This is the smallest house in NYC.

It’s 8 feet wide, on the outside, and 30 feet long. And the address is 7 !/2 (I think).
There are now quite a few 1/2 addresses.
This is one of them, but the actual apartment/building, is behind these buildings. So you go through this door and enter a courtyard, and then see the building.

And yet another 1/2 residence. Or the door that leads to it:

This is a cafe/bar where Jimi Hendrix and many other singers of the 60’s hung out and sang. Cafe Wha …. google it.

This is in Washington Square Park. If you saw “Chasing Bobby Fischer” then you’ll recognize the area where people sit and play chess. All day long. Players sit there and charge $60 an hour for you to play with them. When we were walking by I spotted this little guy playing. He looked all of 4 years old. And was very, very good:

One side of the park is projects …… home for the poor.

The other side of the park has homes that were once single family homes …… for the very rich.
Quite a difference …… from one side to the other.

These are statues of George Washington …… on each side of the arch:

And these two pics are from outside the arch, where Sally dropped off Harry when they drove to NY in “When Harry Met Sally”:

And these pics of of my spoiled cat, Oliver, who was very glad to see me when I got back from Florida and Houston:

These pictures are of Faberge eggs that have been “hidden” all over NYC. There’s a contest to find all of them, and they’re selling small versions of the eggs.
I didn’t enter the contest, but saw several of these amazing eggs.

This one was made out of money. You know, bills.

This egg was very cool. It’s a globe, and it looks like it’s made of very small pieces of egg shells. Lots and lots of egg shell pieces:

My friend Jeni and I went to see this show Wednesday. This was a stretch for me because we didn’t have tickets. We just walked to the theatre and asked if they had any tickets left for the 2:00 matinee (we got there at 1:30). This is how she likes to see Broadway shows. Me? Not so much. I like to make sure I have a good seat. And a ticket.
But it totally worked, and we got the most amazing seats. We had no idea that they sold tickets for actually sitting on the stage. The play takes place in a club, where Billie Holiday is singing. So they had several tables on the stage. If you had tickets there you also got champagne.
Score!!!
Audra McDonald played Billie Holiday and she was amazing. If you don’t know who she is, Google her.
She’s wonderful!

Last night I went to one of those “Wine and Painting classes”. I’d never been to one before but it was so much fun! A friend went with me and we had a great time. And we also came home with some pretty neat paintings. 🙂

OK, that was pretty much my week.
Today I did laundry, ran errands, and packed to head to Oklahoma tomorrow.
I’m going to hang out with Son #3 because it’s Mom’s Weekend at OSU. I can’t believe that I’m old enough to go to a Mom’s Weekend. I have great memories of my mom coming to Mom’s Weekend when I was there. It seems incredible that enough time has passed for me to be doing this.
But I am.
And I’m going to hang out with Vicki and just enjoy being in Ok.
I’m also going to visit Jim’s dad, because his birthday is next week. Daughter #2 and Son #1 are driving up from TX to join Son #3 and me at the farm. Hopefully this will be a surprise for my father-in-law. I think he’ll expect Son #3, but not the rest of us.
I’m looking forward to spending time with him.
And there.
Even though it’s a very bitter-sweet place for me.
For all of us.

The house stuff seems to be moving along, so it looks like I’ll close on the new one May 1st. I plan to be in TX for most of the month of May …… to close and get moved in.
Now I just need my current house to sell.

I’m really looking forward to moving into this house.
A new house …… for new experiences. A house that will be mine. A home in which to make new memories.
I have no doubt that it will be heart and gut wrenching to finally move out of our current home.
I have such mixed feelings about that.
On the one hand, I can’t wait to walk away from that house.

On the other hand, it will be another kind of grief to leave behind a home that holds so many memories.
Nothing is ever easy.
But it’s time.

Have a great weekend, Peeps.
I know I will.
🙂

Sometimes a Project ……

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…… doesn’t quite go the way you hoped.

I’ve had a project in mind for a couple of years. Today I decided to sit down and start it. I’m not going to say what it is, but it involves looking up lots of older pictures.
Pictures of Jim.

Last time I went to Houston I packed up a few external hard drives to bring to NY so that I could start.
This afternoon I started going through the pictures.
I didn’t get very far.

I’m really not sure why.
I’ve looked at pictures before.
But I guess, in retrospect, I haven’t really looked at them. The ones I’ve spent the most time looking at are those of Jim before I knew him.
Like his baby pictures, toddler pictures and teenage pictures.
I love them.
And I can look at them for quite a while.
So I didn’t think twice about looking at “our” pictures.

The feeling of sadness slowly draped over me. My nose started to tingle/burn as tears kept trying to form. I refused to let them come.
Instead, I stopped looking.

I was/am surprised by this reaction.
I’m hoping that this is just something that hit me today, and won’t hit me tomorrow.

I don’t like feeling sad …… feeling like I can’t control my reaction to something.
But, on the flip side, feeling like this right now …… makes me feel grateful that it only happens once in a while …… and not all day long, every single day, the way it used to.

I’ll try again tomorrow.
If it doesn’t work …… well, I guess this project has been on the back burner this long …… what difference does another year make?

Breaking News ……

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…… or not.
It’s actually more like the Daily Demented, or the Certifiable Citizen, or maybe The National Enquirer.

Today, for the second time in my life, I received …… wait for it …… wait for it …… a proposal.
Seriously.
Here it is:

Will you marry me
Regards

See? How can one convey the love, the passion, nay …… the gravity of that question, but with …… “Regards”?

I’ve had a couple of hours to ponder this ~~lunatic’s~~ lovely man’s proposition, and I’m afraid I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just not ready for marriage.
Yet.
Who knows? Maybe if he asks again in 6 months, or 30 years, I might feel otherwise.
But for now, I’m humbled …… and laughing uncontrollably.

I was busy counting all of the “I want to know you more better” messages today, so this one caught me by surprise.

Do you see what I have to deal with???!!!

And you thought I was just kidding when I used the term “cray-cray”.
Now you know better.

In news unrelated to my dating/requests of marriage life …… I’m still hitting the barre, but it’s no longer kicking my butt …… most of the time. It still has its moments.
Today a woman who was next to me during the class, turned to me after it was over (and I was dripping with sweat), and asked me …… oh, so naively, “Does this ever get easier?!”. To which I replied, “No, not really.”
After seeing her crestfallen face I did clarify my answer and told her that she would get stronger and be able to hang in there better, but as for easier?
Not so much.

I went to Harlem today for my volunteer stint. Those kids (ages 3-5) are so freakin’ hilarious. Except for one. Who whines and cries at the drop of a hat.
Every single day.
All day long, according to his teachers.
Who, in my opinion, are saints.
I only have to deal with him for an hour. Which is really a good thing for him.
I don’t know what goes on at home, but he gets upset over the tiniest thing, and then points at what he wants and talks “baby talk”. And cries. Loudly.
That kid works on my last nerve.
Today I told him that, as long as he cried and talked like a baby, I couldn’t help him.
Which didn’t seem to matter to him …… for a minute or so.
Then he stopped crying, got a tissue and blew his nose (is “blew” even a word??), and then proceeded to try to tell me what he wanted.
I’ve never seen a preschooler act so helpless. Most of them are almost defiant in trying to do things themselves.
This kid is going to make some woman a miserable wife.

Tonight I went to see “Bullets Over Broadway”, which starred Zach Braff. You know, the guy from “Scrubs”.
Woody Allen wrote the play.
And the movie, which I remember seeing years ago, with Jim.
I didn’t care for it all that much.

So I didn’t have high hopes for the musical.
It was entertaining, I guess. But not a “I’ve GOT to see that!” show.
Even though I was in the second row.
Center.
So I was about 5 feet from Zach.
Thankfully he didn’t spit when he spoke.

It’s time for me to go to bed.
I have barre class again in the morning.
It’s definitely a love/hate relationship.
I hate having to drag myself there, but I love being done with it.
I’m truly conflicted.

I’m totally psyched for the weekend.
Because Saturday night I’m going with my friend Kelley to see Elayne Boosler!
Kelley is a friend of hers and Elayne gave her two tickets to the show. And she asked me to be her date. Whoop!!
If you’re too young to know who Elayne Boosler is, then I have to, once again, ask …..
what are you doing here?!!!

OK. I need to hit the hay.
And ponder how to gently let down the guy who proposed to me.

Oh, who am I kidding?! I’m not going to gently let him down!! I’ll probably just delete his message and pretend I never received it.
Or message him back with a, “Yes!! When and where??!!!”
That should make him think twice.
Or six times.

Adios, Peeps.
Have a great weekend.
🙂

How to Spot a Dating Site Scammer ……

3 Replies

…… in one easy ~~lesson~~ post.

In the last 24 hours I have received about 6 “Hello” messages on OK Cupid. At least four of them are from fakers/scammers/people who most likely do not live in this country.
But I’ll let you be the judge of that.

I will tell you, with some knowledge, that this is getting very tiresome.
But, on the bright side, I thought I’d choose two of them to post as examples of what to look for …… should you ever, EVER find yourself on a free dating site.
The old adage, “You get what you pay for” never rang so true.

Here is Example #1.
(You might want to have a barf bag handy.)

Wow you look very radiant like the morning sky,i really appreciate God for a wonderful creature like you.you are like a gift from God , seeing you has really made me to forget to ask how u are doing. Well let me not be carried away by your beauty, I must tell you the truth you are among the wonders of God’s creature.i will be very glad if i can get to know you more better.Meeting with you will be my first joy, please it will gladden my heart by giving me a response. please do include your email address or cell phone number, when reply so we could start by chatting…You are beautiful, Cheers up till i hear from

Yep, that’s how it ended. I didn’t crop anything.
(I’d like to crop something, but that’s a whole ‘nother post.)

I know what you’re thinking.
How could this guy know, from just my picture, that I am among the wonders of God’s creature?
It must have been all the radiance shining through that picture of me, on the top of a mountain in Oregon, wearing sunglasses and standing far from the camera.
My radiance is hard to contain.
It’s a gift.
And a curse.

When you’re done with your gagging/retching/spit-takes, you may proceed to Example #2:

Hello how are you doing ,I just saw your profile and i couldn’t resist to send you a message am so sorry if this got you upset, will i just did some criteria search for singles Women and felt your photo was interesting and profile,i will really be happy if you can write me back on my Cell Phone to know my hope in you thanks >>>>>>>XXX) XXX)-XXXX.

This guy’s hope in me is going to be dashed.
And please note that I’m not totally heartless …… I put X’s where his phone number was (but I didn’t take out the parentheses or the 8 or so greater than symbols).
Don’t ask.
I have no idea.

I’m really struggling to not delete my info from this web site.
I am getting very tired of having to wade through these types of messages,
but you guys …… this is comedy/blog gold! I’m really going to have to incorporate this into a stand up routine.
I’ll keep you posted.

In the mean time …… I interrupt this program for a moment of advertising. I can do that because it’s my blog. 🙂
If you or anyone you know would be interested in purchasing this:

or this:

let me know.
The first picture is, as you can see, a pool table, but it’s also an air hockey table and it’s VERY heavy duty.
Emphasis on heavy.
It’s not one of those cheap tables.

The second picture is of a NordicTrak E500.
It’s in perfect condition and is a great all-in-one workout item.
I won’t have room for them in a smaller house.

Speaking of a smaller house, things are proceeding. The inspections are done and most of the paperwork is signed and in place. Of course, nothing is truly settled until every T is crossed on closing day, so I’m still in a “we shall see” mode.
I’ve found that a pretty good place to be most of the time.

That’s it for today.
I’ll keep mining for comedy/blog gold …… just to keep you all entertained.
And as always …… you’re welcome.
🙂

A Totally Hilarious, Yet Also Horrifying ……

4 Replies

…… boost to my ego.
Kind of.

But more about that later.

Thank you so much for the comments here and on Facebook about my last post. Thank you for your kind words, thoughts and prayers, and most of all, love.
I am so grateful that I am surrounded by so much love.
Reading that post still makes me cry, but life moves forward.
And the kids and I will continue to take it one day at a time.

Speaking of life moving forward …… those of you who are involved in Soaring Spirits, or who went to Camp Widow East and attended the workshop Arnie and I led, know that I have gone back on line …… to try out the whole dating thing …… again.
Excuse me while I gag.

I hated it the first time I tried it.
I hated it after meeting a colossal fraud/scammer/widow-hunter.
I hated it when I was asked to co-lead a workshop about it.
But I decided to go back to it, so that I could perhaps be a bit more …… balanced in the workshop.
I still hated it.

I am currently on two dating sites. One that charges a fee (E-Harmony) and one that is free (OK Cupid).
I decided to stay on them for a bit longer because the workshop seemed to be a big hit and we may be doing it at Camp Widow West in July.
And maybe I’d have more to report.

Oh.
My.
Word, do I have more to report.
And it’s only been about 2 weeks since Camp.
I may have to lead a week-long seminar.

Here’s what I have to say about MY experience with E-Harmony:
It sucks.
Totally and 100%.
Now, I have to tell you that I know of a number of widows (my dear friends) who met their current husbands on that site.
Evidently, E-Harmony hates me.
The feeling is mutual.

I have not met one single person on that site.
Oh sure, they send me “matches” every day or so, but not once has anyone contacted me.
I feel completely invisible on that site.
And I’ve gone out of my comfort zone and sent “smiles” to several men (excuse me while I hurl.)
Yes, I’ve made the first move several times.
Nothing.
Nada.
Zero.
Zilch.
E-Harmony is dead to me.

And then there’s OK Cupid.
Where I’ve not only recognized, but reported and scared off 2 (TWO) scammers.
Oh, yeah …… I’m the Immigration of OK Cupid.

In all fairness, I have to tell you that it’s not that difficult to spot most scammers. All it takes is a mediocre grasp of the English language. Like verb tenses. And a few participles.
Because these scammers have no grip on them at all.

So scammer #1 sent me quite a few messages, along with a couple of pictures. He claimed to be an American-born, and NY bred, military man. With a couple of kids.
His use of the English language was something more akin to someone born in a third world country.
So I reverse searched his pictures on Google Images.
And found that the poor guy in the pictures was indeed real, but his pictures have been stolen and used over and over and over again on dating sites to scam women.
I immediately reported scammer #1.

Scammer #2? I toyed with him for about a week.
And enjoyed every moment of it.

He, of course, wanted my email address so that he could send me more pictures and I could send him some (red flag #2, after the broken English red flag). I demurred, stating that since I was so new on this site, I preferred to keep all communication there.
He went along with it, as far as I could tell, with his limited English.
After a few messages I asked him where he was born.
He said, “Ireland.”
But he grew up in NY.
Because most Irish-born people don’t know how to use the word “the” in a sentence. Give me a break.

Then he asked me what I was looking for on that site.
This is what I told him:
“I’m looking for an honest man. A man who won’t pretend that he’s someone he’s not and won’t use someone else’s pictures to try and scam a woman.”
To which he replied, “What do you mean? I do not understand what you say.”
I know.
So I replied, “There are men on this site who use a false name and post false pictures to try to meet women. It’s wrong and it’s illegal (I have no idea if it’s really illegal, but I didn’t care at that point).”
Then I asked, so innocently, “So … how long have you lived in America and do you like it?” (Add a flutter of the eyelashes here.)
Here’s his reply: “Are you one of these people? I have not hear of this. You know much about this.”
Too.
Much.
Fun.
This morning, when I saw that last reply, I went on line, trying to think of an amazing come-back. But alas, I found that his picture was gone.
And his account had been deleted.
I know!!!
I totally rocked on that. 🙂

In other OK Cupid news, I went on a date Thursday night.
There will be no second.
I knew that the moment I was telling him about my hip surgery. I can’t remember how that topic came up, but it did. He asked when it had happened. I used one of my major time frame references and said, “It was two years after my husband died.” He then stopped me abruptly by saying, “Wait. Wait. That’s the second time that you’ve said “My husband died”. You don’t need to say it again.”
I.
Know.

He left to go to the restroom and I fought myself, biting my cheek and digging my fingernails into my palms, to not cry and not throw something in fury.
In a minute amount of fairness, during our previous phone calls, he had said that he didn’t date widows because the one time he had, the woman had spent the whole time saying, “My husband and I ate there. That’s where my husband proposed to me. My husband worked there. My husband and I used to go there a lot.”
And I get that. I really do.
That woman was not ready to date.
But I didn’t do that.
To me, Jim’s death is a total time reference. Much the way the births of my children are.
After he said that I did ask him if he was threatened by a dead husband. I said that, yes, I had a husband who I loved, but he’s not in competition with anyone. He’s dead. DEAD.
That’s when he went to the rest room.
And that’s when I knew there wouldn’t be a second date.
He texted me today and I answered him curtly.
He’s not totally stupid.
He hasn’t texted or called again.

So there you go.
Don’t be jealous.

And now, as for the title of this post …… I’m mostly speechless.

I received an email last night from OK Cupid.
I was so speechless that I took a screen shot of it.
Which I now share with you.
Buckle your seat belt.

I know …… it’s too small for you to read. You can click on it and then read it …… or you can read this:

We just detected that you’re now among the most attractive people on OkCupid.

We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch and Quiver. Did you get a new haircut or something?
Well, it’s working!

To celebrate, we’ve adjusted your OkCupid experience:

You’ll see more attractive people in your match results.

This won’t affect your match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match’s answers. But we’ll recommend more attractive people to you. You’ll also appear more often to other attractive people.

Sign in to see your newly-shuffled matches. Have fun, and don’t let this go to your head.

Ummmm, yeah. Hilarious. Ego-boosting. And horrifying.
All at the same time.

So I guess I’ve been getting the dregs of their matches.
Until now.
Now that I’m incredibly popular.
Which, for me, begs the question: How horrible are the rest of the women on this site??!!!!!??

And no, I don’t think I’m a total dog, but I hold no illusions about the facts of age and gravity and their impact on a 50+ year old woman.

All that to say, if you’re a single, semi-attractive woman under the age of 45 or so, you should TOTALLY be on this site!!!! You will own it!!!

I’ll leave you with that.
I’m tired.
And I have to get up for barre class in the morning.
And maybe dream about all of the “attractive matches” I’m now going to receive.
Excuse me while I gag, hurl and laugh hysterically.
All at the same time.

🙂

One of Those Dreams ……

1 Reply

…… that I love and hate.

I love the dream while I’m sleeping. If given a choice, I’d never wake up from it. Because once I do, I hate the dream.
The dream goes from somewhere I’d love to spend the rest of my life …… to something that’s cruel and leaves me feeling cold, hollow …… and sucker punched.

Jim came back. Yep, after six years. My dream was set in the present. As it is every single time I dream it.
I can’t remember what his explanation was, but as usual, it didn’t matter. I was so overcome by seeing him, that the one detail you would think would be important …… wasn’t.

The most vivid part of my dream, the scene that I remember clearly, was Daughters #2 and #3, and Son #1 driving up in one car, and seeing Jim standing on the porch. And then they were all out of the car, running to him and jumping up on him to hug him for dear life (ironic term, isn’t it?).
I cried while watching it, in my dream.
I may have really cried, in my sleep.

One by one, we had all of the other kids come home, too …… without telling them why.
And each one was just as beyond joyful at seeing him.
I remember the joy.

And then I woke up.
This time …… like the time before, and the time before that, etc, etc, etc …… it took me several moments to realize that the dream …… was not my reality.

And that’s the part I hate.
With every fiber of my being.

I went on with the rest of my day. And really, had a good day.
I’m grateful for that. For the ability to know that this dream is not going to suck the life out of me, or knock me down.
Now.

It will not set me back. Even though every time it pops into my head during the day, I feel sad.
I know it’s a momentary sadness.
Even if it lasts a day.
Or more.

I imagine that this dream will continue to come to my nights for the rest of my life.
Just as the sadness of missing him will come to my days.

But I know that’s ok.
It’s just …… one of those dreams.

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My Second Plan A

After my first Plan A ended tragically, and all too soon, I came up with my second Plan A. It took a while, but now I'm ready to live again. And live fully.