Category Archives: Moving Forward

How to Spot a Dating Site Scammer ……

…… in one easy ~~lesson~~ post.

In the last 24 hours I have received about 6 “Hello” messages on OK Cupid. At least four of them are from fakers/scammers/people who most likely do not live in this country.
But I’ll let you be the judge of that.

I will tell you, with some knowledge, that this is getting very tiresome.
But, on the bright side, I thought I’d choose two of them to post as examples of what to look for …… should you ever, EVER find yourself on a free dating site.
The old adage, “You get what you pay for” never rang so true.

Here is Example #1.
(You might want to have a barf bag handy.)

Wow you look very radiant like the morning sky,i really appreciate God for a wonderful creature like you.you are like a gift from God , seeing you has really made me to forget to ask how u are doing. Well let me not be carried away by your beauty, I must tell you the truth you are among the wonders of God’s creature.i will be very glad if i can get to know you more better.Meeting with you will be my first joy, please it will gladden my heart by giving me a response. please do include your email address or cell phone number, when reply so we could start by chatting…You are beautiful, Cheers up till i hear from

Yep, that’s how it ended. I didn’t crop anything.
(I’d like to crop something, but that’s a whole ‘nother post.)

I know what you’re thinking.
How could this guy know, from just my picture, that I am among the wonders of God’s creature?
It must have been all the radiance shining through that picture of me, on the top of a mountain in Oregon, wearing sunglasses and standing far from the camera.
My radiance is hard to contain.
It’s a gift.
And a curse.

When you’re done with your gagging/retching/spit-takes, you may proceed to Example #2:

Hello how are you doing ,I just saw your profile and i couldn’t resist to send you a message am so sorry if this got you upset, will i just did some criteria search for singles Women and felt your photo was interesting and profile,i will really be happy if you can write me back on my Cell Phone to know my hope in you thanks >>>>>>>XXX) XXX)-XXXX.

This guy’s hope in me is going to be dashed.
And please note that I’m not totally heartless …… I put X’s where his phone number was (but I didn’t take out the parentheses or the 8 or so greater than symbols).
Don’t ask.
I have no idea.

I’m really struggling to not delete my info from this web site.
I am getting very tired of having to wade through these types of messages,
but you guys …… this is comedy/blog gold! I’m really going to have to incorporate this into a stand up routine.
I’ll keep you posted.

In the mean time …… I interrupt this program for a moment of advertising. I can do that because it’s my blog. 🙂
If you or anyone you know would be interested in purchasing this:

or this:

let me know.
The first picture is, as you can see, a pool table, but it’s also an air hockey table and it’s VERY heavy duty.
Emphasis on heavy.
It’s not one of those cheap tables.

The second picture is of a NordicTrak E500.
It’s in perfect condition and is a great all-in-one workout item.
I won’t have room for them in a smaller house.

Speaking of a smaller house, things are proceeding. The inspections are done and most of the paperwork is signed and in place. Of course, nothing is truly settled until every T is crossed on closing day, so I’m still in a “we shall see” mode.
I’ve found that a pretty good place to be most of the time.

That’s it for today.
I’ll keep mining for comedy/blog gold …… just to keep you all entertained.
And as always …… you’re welcome.
🙂

Optimism or ……

3 Replies

…… a little cray-cray.
I’ll let you decide.

This picture shows the sidewalk area of three restaurants in a row:

See all of the outdoor tables set up for customers?

Now look at this picture, which was taken right after the above picture:

If you click on it you can see that it shows the temperature as 34.
DEGREES!
Who’s going to sit at sidewalk tables when it’s a flippin’ THIRTY FOUR DEGREES outside?!
I’ll tell you who …… NO ONE!

Say what you will about New Yorkers and their strength, perseverance, and optimism …..
I’m telling you that whoever decided to set up those tables (and each restaurant who followed suit) is indeed, a whole lotta crazy.
Especially when you notice that the time was 4:55 p.m.
(And it was in the low 20’s this morning.)
So yeah, they were getting ready for the dinner crowd. Which, I have no doubt, was going to crowd up inside these restaurants.
Sometimes I just shake my head.
And smile.

Speaking of smiling, I took these pictures from the airplane last week as we were descending into LaGuardia:

That sight never fails to make me smile.
And no complaining. I took a lot of pictures.
You’re lucky that I only showed you seven.

This past weekend I went to NJ to attend/help out with my friend Beth’s fundraiser that her family/community holds each year in honor/memory of her husband, who was a high school teacher and basketball coach there. This was their 6th year to host this event and my first one to attend.
It was very fun, successful and exhausting. Which means I had a great time. I met a lot of people, her friends and family, and I saw how much community support her family has received these past 6 years. It was amazing and so very nice.
And …… I won two raffle items. One package was the last 3 Batman movies (I think I put one ticket into that one) and the other was a necklace that I really like. I may have put about 6 tickets into that one.
I have to admit that I was pretty disappointed to not win the margarita basket, into which I probably put at least 20 tickets.
And yes, I do know that I could’ve gone out and bought everything in that basket for less than I put into it, but that’s not the point.
If you’ve never put tickets into a raffle you cannot judge.
It’s the thrill of the moment.
And the lure of a great margarita.

And then there’s this. Remember when I showed you the pictures of the pigeon that was hanging around my gate at the Newark airport? Well, I forgot to tell you that when I returned from Tampa, into Newark, and was walking past that same gate, a pigeon flew past me and into that gate area.
I kid you not.
It was the strangest thing.

But even more strange, was this …… at the Port Authority bus terminal, where I was waiting to get on the bus to Jersey:

If I was a big “signs” believer, I’d tell you that these pigeons were a sign.
And that maybe it was Jim, showing himself to me.
But I’m not, which is probably a good thing because how pissed off would he be to know that I thought he was a rat with wings?!
Pretty dang pissed off.
And rightfully so.
But just between you and me (because I don’t think he reads my blog) …… I’m going to pay a little bit more attention to pigeons from now on.

I came home Sunday afternoon, in time for me to make a barre class.
I was beyond exhausted after the weekend and riding a bus 2 1/2 hours back into the city. But I put on my big girl tights and went anyway.
And holy cow.
I only thought I was beyond exhausted before that class.
And in what I can only imagine was a moment of complete insanity brought on by said exhaustion, I signed up for three classes in a row.
Three days in a row.
So this morning, at about 10 minutes into the second in-a-row-class, I was cursing the exhausted me who signed me up for that.
I have no doubt that there will be even more cursing tomorrow morning.

After I got home from Sunday’s class, I heard a lot of car horns going off. And for me to notice that here in this city, means that it really was A LOT!
So I looked out the window to see what was going on and found this:

It was an anti-Putin/pro Ukraine demonstration. And these pictures show only a very small amount of the cars involved. They must’ve gone on for close to a mile.
Never a dull moment around here.
Thankfully.

And now I shall leave you with this, which is probably going to start “coloring” many of my posts …… something from OK Cupid.
I really wasn’t going to share much from this “experiment” here, but I’m finding it way too tempting. I just can’t help myself.
Hopefully you’ll understand why.
This is an excerpt from a “match’s” profile (honestly, I could NOT make this stuff up, even if I tried):

My self-summary
Caring, thoughtful, intelligent, well educated, fit guy, in search of a good friend as well as a wonderful lover…. My ideal partner is sweet, intelligent, creative, and seeking the same sort of substantive connection as I am. I have no desire to be possessive, but I do want to be filled with desire when a favorite image of you comes to mind, bringing a smile to my lips, a thrill to my heart, and a charge to my loins….

A “charge to my loins”?!!???! What the hell????
Is there a woman, anywhere on this planet, who would find that enticing??! Because, really? That received a quick and strong DELETE.
And a whole lotta gagging.

Again, don’t be jealous.
We can’t all live this kind of life.
And it can’t be all fun and games, and theatre.
Evidently God feels that there should be some nausea thrown in.
At regular intervals.

And no, I haven’t noticed that I’m getting “more attractive” men.
Sigh ……

There now.
Don’t you feel better about your life?
You’re welcome.

A Totally Hilarious, Yet Also Horrifying ……

4 Replies

…… boost to my ego.
Kind of.

But more about that later.

Thank you so much for the comments here and on Facebook about my last post. Thank you for your kind words, thoughts and prayers, and most of all, love.
I am so grateful that I am surrounded by so much love.
Reading that post still makes me cry, but life moves forward.
And the kids and I will continue to take it one day at a time.

Speaking of life moving forward …… those of you who are involved in Soaring Spirits, or who went to Camp Widow East and attended the workshop Arnie and I led, know that I have gone back on line …… to try out the whole dating thing …… again.
Excuse me while I gag.

I hated it the first time I tried it.
I hated it after meeting a colossal fraud/scammer/widow-hunter.
I hated it when I was asked to co-lead a workshop about it.
But I decided to go back to it, so that I could perhaps be a bit more …… balanced in the workshop.
I still hated it.

I am currently on two dating sites. One that charges a fee (E-Harmony) and one that is free (OK Cupid).
I decided to stay on them for a bit longer because the workshop seemed to be a big hit and we may be doing it at Camp Widow West in July.
And maybe I’d have more to report.

Oh.
My.
Word, do I have more to report.
And it’s only been about 2 weeks since Camp.
I may have to lead a week-long seminar.

Here’s what I have to say about MY experience with E-Harmony:
It sucks.
Totally and 100%.
Now, I have to tell you that I know of a number of widows (my dear friends) who met their current husbands on that site.
Evidently, E-Harmony hates me.
The feeling is mutual.

I have not met one single person on that site.
Oh sure, they send me “matches” every day or so, but not once has anyone contacted me.
I feel completely invisible on that site.
And I’ve gone out of my comfort zone and sent “smiles” to several men (excuse me while I hurl.)
Yes, I’ve made the first move several times.
Nothing.
Nada.
Zero.
Zilch.
E-Harmony is dead to me.

And then there’s OK Cupid.
Where I’ve not only recognized, but reported and scared off 2 (TWO) scammers.
Oh, yeah …… I’m the Immigration of OK Cupid.

In all fairness, I have to tell you that it’s not that difficult to spot most scammers. All it takes is a mediocre grasp of the English language. Like verb tenses. And a few participles.
Because these scammers have no grip on them at all.

So scammer #1 sent me quite a few messages, along with a couple of pictures. He claimed to be an American-born, and NY bred, military man. With a couple of kids.
His use of the English language was something more akin to someone born in a third world country.
So I reverse searched his pictures on Google Images.
And found that the poor guy in the pictures was indeed real, but his pictures have been stolen and used over and over and over again on dating sites to scam women.
I immediately reported scammer #1.

Scammer #2? I toyed with him for about a week.
And enjoyed every moment of it.

He, of course, wanted my email address so that he could send me more pictures and I could send him some (red flag #2, after the broken English red flag). I demurred, stating that since I was so new on this site, I preferred to keep all communication there.
He went along with it, as far as I could tell, with his limited English.
After a few messages I asked him where he was born.
He said, “Ireland.”
But he grew up in NY.
Because most Irish-born people don’t know how to use the word “the” in a sentence. Give me a break.

Then he asked me what I was looking for on that site.
This is what I told him:
“I’m looking for an honest man. A man who won’t pretend that he’s someone he’s not and won’t use someone else’s pictures to try and scam a woman.”
To which he replied, “What do you mean? I do not understand what you say.”
I know.
So I replied, “There are men on this site who use a false name and post false pictures to try to meet women. It’s wrong and it’s illegal (I have no idea if it’s really illegal, but I didn’t care at that point).”
Then I asked, so innocently, “So … how long have you lived in America and do you like it?” (Add a flutter of the eyelashes here.)
Here’s his reply: “Are you one of these people? I have not hear of this. You know much about this.”
Too.
Much.
Fun.
This morning, when I saw that last reply, I went on line, trying to think of an amazing come-back. But alas, I found that his picture was gone.
And his account had been deleted.
I know!!!
I totally rocked on that. 🙂

In other OK Cupid news, I went on a date Thursday night.
There will be no second.
I knew that the moment I was telling him about my hip surgery. I can’t remember how that topic came up, but it did. He asked when it had happened. I used one of my major time frame references and said, “It was two years after my husband died.” He then stopped me abruptly by saying, “Wait. Wait. That’s the second time that you’ve said “My husband died”. You don’t need to say it again.”
I.
Know.

He left to go to the restroom and I fought myself, biting my cheek and digging my fingernails into my palms, to not cry and not throw something in fury.
In a minute amount of fairness, during our previous phone calls, he had said that he didn’t date widows because the one time he had, the woman had spent the whole time saying, “My husband and I ate there. That’s where my husband proposed to me. My husband worked there. My husband and I used to go there a lot.”
And I get that. I really do.
That woman was not ready to date.
But I didn’t do that.
To me, Jim’s death is a total time reference. Much the way the births of my children are.
After he said that I did ask him if he was threatened by a dead husband. I said that, yes, I had a husband who I loved, but he’s not in competition with anyone. He’s dead. DEAD.
That’s when he went to the rest room.
And that’s when I knew there wouldn’t be a second date.
He texted me today and I answered him curtly.
He’s not totally stupid.
He hasn’t texted or called again.

So there you go.
Don’t be jealous.

And now, as for the title of this post …… I’m mostly speechless.

I received an email last night from OK Cupid.
I was so speechless that I took a screen shot of it.
Which I now share with you.
Buckle your seat belt.

I know …… it’s too small for you to read. You can click on it and then read it …… or you can read this:

We just detected that you’re now among the most attractive people on OkCupid.

We learned this from clicks to your profile and reactions to you in Quickmatch and Quiver. Did you get a new haircut or something?
Well, it’s working!

To celebrate, we’ve adjusted your OkCupid experience:

You’ll see more attractive people in your match results.

This won’t affect your match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match’s answers. But we’ll recommend more attractive people to you. You’ll also appear more often to other attractive people.

Sign in to see your newly-shuffled matches. Have fun, and don’t let this go to your head.

Ummmm, yeah. Hilarious. Ego-boosting. And horrifying.
All at the same time.

So I guess I’ve been getting the dregs of their matches.
Until now.
Now that I’m incredibly popular.
Which, for me, begs the question: How horrible are the rest of the women on this site??!!!!!??

And no, I don’t think I’m a total dog, but I hold no illusions about the facts of age and gravity and their impact on a 50+ year old woman.

All that to say, if you’re a single, semi-attractive woman under the age of 45 or so, you should TOTALLY be on this site!!!! You will own it!!!

I’ll leave you with that.
I’m tired.
And I have to get up for barre class in the morning.
And maybe dream about all of the “attractive matches” I’m now going to receive.
Excuse me while I gag, hurl and laugh hysterically.
All at the same time.

🙂

A Very, Very ……

Ten Newly Discovered ……

4 Replies

…… great things about living where it’s cold in the winter.
Like, freezing cold.

1. You never have to worry about putting ice in your water bottle. The water gets very cold, very fast as you
walk outside.
2. Hot flashes don’t last nearly as long in 20-degree weather.
3. Cute sweaters!
4. There are very few people standing outside smoking.
5. No disgusting humidity.
6. Cute boots!
7. Your sinuses tend to stay clearer when your nose runs.
8. Hot chocolate/apple cider.
9. Cute scarves!

And the number 10 great thing about living where it’s freezing cold in the winter:

10. Snow angels!!!!!!

🙂

One of Those Dreams ……

1 Reply

…… that I love and hate.

I love the dream while I’m sleeping. If given a choice, I’d never wake up from it. Because once I do, I hate the dream.
The dream goes from somewhere I’d love to spend the rest of my life …… to something that’s cruel and leaves me feeling cold, hollow …… and sucker punched.

Jim came back. Yep, after six years. My dream was set in the present. As it is every single time I dream it.
I can’t remember what his explanation was, but as usual, it didn’t matter. I was so overcome by seeing him, that the one detail you would think would be important …… wasn’t.

The most vivid part of my dream, the scene that I remember clearly, was Daughters #2 and #3, and Son #1 driving up in one car, and seeing Jim standing on the porch. And then they were all out of the car, running to him and jumping up on him to hug him for dear life (ironic term, isn’t it?).
I cried while watching it, in my dream.
I may have really cried, in my sleep.

One by one, we had all of the other kids come home, too …… without telling them why.
And each one was just as beyond joyful at seeing him.
I remember the joy.

And then I woke up.
This time …… like the time before, and the time before that, etc, etc, etc …… it took me several moments to realize that the dream …… was not my reality.

And that’s the part I hate.
With every fiber of my being.

I went on with the rest of my day. And really, had a good day.
I’m grateful for that. For the ability to know that this dream is not going to suck the life out of me, or knock me down.
Now.

It will not set me back. Even though every time it pops into my head during the day, I feel sad.
I know it’s a momentary sadness.
Even if it lasts a day.
Or more.

I imagine that this dream will continue to come to my nights for the rest of my life.
Just as the sadness of missing him will come to my days.

But I know that’s ok.
It’s just …… one of those dreams.

Another Wintery ……

2 Replies

…… week up here in the northeast.

The news is packed with clips of New Yorkers saying how sick (and tired, for all you Bill Cosby fans) they are of the snow. Before this past week I thought they were being a bit silly. I mean, it’s winter in New York, for heaven’s sake. Don’t they expect it to be cold and sometimes snowy?
But I think that’s the key …… the word “sometimes”.
In the past 4 days or so we’ve had 3 snow storms, at least. Right now this winter is ranking up there as one of the “snowiest” ones they’ve had.
So, even though I think they’re leaning towards the dramatic side, I’ll give it to them.

And I’ll just continue to be glad that I don’t have to drive here.

Although, I’ve now discovered that walking isn’t always a piece of cake.
Thursday night, as we were hovering between 2 big snow storms, I decided to walk to a theatre to see this:

If you look closely, beyond the Playbill, you can see the stage. That’s because I was sitting in the first row. Score! I’m on a few email lists that send me discount codes to plays (and all kinds of things here), and this was one. It’s not a very well known show, but it was hysterical.
Which was good, since I didn’t do so well on the walk over. Even though it had snowed all day, the temps had stayed in the mid 30’s so there was water everywhere. When the snow melts here, the streets, specifically the intersections ….. and more specifically the areas around the curbs, become akin to rivers and lakes. No kidding, sometimes you step off of a curb and find yourself calf-high in water. Which is a lovely, invigorating surprise if your shoes/boots don’t go up that high.

Any-whoo, I was wearing a pair of sturdy snow boots, and making my way around the perimeter of Central Park, when about 5 minutes into the walk, I discovered that …… hidden by the water was lots and lots and LOTS of black ice.
Do you know how one discovers that?
One slips and slides.
And tries to avoid falling.

I had just stopped to take this lovely picture ……

…… and had made my way past Columbus Circle, where at least 5 news vans were parked and their various reporters and cameramen were set up and doing the news. I guess that’s a hot spot for weather reporting …
… or maybe for catching people slip-sliding all over the place, because that’s pretty much all that was going on. I had slid several times before reaching that point, and thought, “Gee, it would totally suck to fall right here, and be on the news.”
Especially since Daughter #1 was sitting at home, watching the news, and as I had walked out of the apartment she said, “Be careful. Don’t fall.”
I laughed. You know, the kind of laugh that says, “You are SO silly. Why would I fall?? I’m not 80 you know!”

Well, I did make it past Columbus Circle and all of the news crews.
Thankfully.
Just as I was clearly out of their line of vision …… I slipped. I tried to correct myself, but that wasn’t happening. I went down.
And hard.
But as much as it hurt, what hurt more was the blow to my ego. Because there was a woman behind me and a man coming towards me. I got back up as quickly as I could, just as the woman hurried up to me and asked if I was ok.
You know the answer.
“Yep! I’m good, fine thanks. Great. No worries. But thank you.”
I could’ve had a bone sticking out of my leg and would most likely have said the exact same thing. Why is that? It’s like when someone calls when you’re asleep and they ask if they woke you up. “Oh, no. Nah, I was wide awake ….. doing my taxes (or other such nonsense). No worries!”
What is with that?!

I thanked the very nice woman again and let her go in front of me as I stood there for a moment and took inventory. I had fallen on my left side. I was surprised by how hard I went down. I was also surprised that as I was down, ice cold water had run into my left boot. So I could now feel my wet tights,socks, pants and very cold toes.
I could also feel my left hip starting to throb, and my left knee and elbow burning …… like I had scraped them. Of course I knew that was silly because I was layered. I knew they couldn’t be scraped, but wondered why they felt that way.
Once I knew that nothing was apparently broken, I started back on my walk, only much more cautious and a wee bit shaky.
I slid quite a few more times, uttering not-so-nice-words each time, and I wasn’t the only one. Almost every person who came towards me slipped. And slid. Some fell down. But no one seemed to fall badly.

I made it another, oh, I don’t know …… 3 minutes or so …… and then fell again. But this time, thankfully, I fell downward (left leg again) into a huge pile of snow. I didn’t fall flat, or as hard, so I don’t think anything was hurt again.
Aside from my already bruised ego.

At this point I was wondering if I’d be able to make it to the theatre in time for the show.
Or if the show was even going to be worth all of this.
Thankfully, I did. And it was.
Mostly.
(I may or may not have gone to the theatre bar to bolt down a stiff drink to get a wee bit calmer before the show started. And suddenly understood why the gun slingers in western movies always hit the bar for a shot before they went out to shoot someone. Not that I’m comparing going to a Broadway show to being at the OK Corral. Much.)

I ended up walking back home (I know. Don’t ask me why …… I just did.) But I made it in much less time than the walk to the theatre.
And much more uneventfully.

I didn’t really walk, so much as kind of skated. Well, skated without skates, which basically means that I didn’t pick up my feet. At all.
It turns out that “skating” takes totally different muscles than walking.
But I was good with that …… as long as it kept me from falling.
And it did.

This is turning out to be a much longer post than I had anticipated. Sorry.

By the time I got home I knew that I was going to have a whopper of a bruise on my hip. And I did/do.
It was already pretty ugly after only a little over 2 hours. And it has progressed to a whole ‘nother level of ugly.
Yay for cold weather and long pants.

The next morning I was drying my hair, when I suddenly caught sight of my left elbow/arm. And had to turn off the hair dryer because oh. my. word.
Here’s what it looks like today:

Pretty, isn’t it? The bruise has been growing every day, like it has a life of its own. And it’s still swollen. But it doesn’t hurt all that much.
Unless of course I touch it.
Or bump it.
Or look at it.
Thank goodness for cold weather and long sleeved shirts.

My left knee looked fine, although it hurts like the dickens if I kneel on it or bump it.
Today I noticed that a bruise is starting to form there, too.
Thank goodness for …… wait, I already did that one.
Thank goodness for a right side with no bruises.
For now, anyway.

Onward.
And hopefully, upright.

Friday night Daughter #1 and I went to see Janeane Garofalo at a comedy club. While I was waiting for D1 to arrive, I stood outside and read some emails. I glanced up at one point and was surprised when I saw this:

That’s the Stillwater Bar, the meeting and cheering place of all of the OSU alums and supporters. It’s a great place to hang, if you went to OSU.
And I’ve been there at least 3 times. But didn’t recognize where I was going while I was going there. Until I looked up and there it was.
I’d be a terrific witness to a crime.
For the criminal.

Also on Friday, I picked up 2 packages downstairs.
One was a box of flowers.
Not for me.
The other was a package with a cheapo shoulder bag/slash fanny pack.
For me.
From AARP.
Happy freakin’ Valentine’s Day.

Yesterday it snowed pretty much all day. Again.
I enjoyed staring out the window and watching it swirl all around.
So did Oliver.

I also got this package last week:

It was MUCH better than the fanny pack.
I ordered it here …… and it was free. Go check out the link …… the artist who made it is doing a really nice thing. And anyone can order one.
For free.
🙂

Yesterday I also received something else that I spent a lot of time staring at (please ignore the preposition ending that sentence).
My lovely sister-in-law sent me this wonderful, wonderful picture:

T.A.N.W.
Except …… Oh. Wow.
I’m loving it …… and the way it makes me smile every single time I see it.
So I put it on my computer desktop.
As the back ground picture.
I’m smiling a lot.
🙂

In between all of that stuff, Daughter #1 and I have been watching the Olympics. At all hours.
Go USA!
(Daughter #3 has flown the coop to spend a week in the warmth of Texas. That’s because up here the schools have a week of for what’s known as “mid-winter break” (in addition to the week they’ll have off for spring break). Pansies.
Down south we get one week of for spring break, and we’re happy to get it!
Sheesh.

I will now leave you with this (again, my profound apologies for the length of this ~~novel~~ post).
I walked around quite a bit this afternoon, running several errands. While out I took this picture, which shows why it’s important to NOT park on the wrong side of the street when we have a snow storm:

This is because the snow plows come along and always shove the snow to that side of the road.
Always.

Ummmm, hopefully all of those car owners aren’t needing to go anywhere.
In the next month.
If you look closely, beyond those snowy mounds, you can see a car parked by a more intelligent owner.
I’ll help you.

🙂

That’s it.
Finally.
I hope you’re still awake.
Or still reading.
I’m sure I lost several of you about 20 minutes ago.

I hope you all have a great week!

Happy Sunday.
🙂

Six Years ……

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…… and not enjoying the counting.

Here are a few pictures from my day.

I had lunch with my friend Kelley, who also finds December 18th a difficult day. It’s the day that her husband proposed to her, at this tree (well, not THIS tree, but at the tree that stood here that year). After lunch we both walked towards the tree and then went our separate ways. We both had memories to process and thoughts to think.
I spent some time there, right up at the base of the tree. This was the first time I got that close. That sucker is huge!

Then I spent some time watching the skaters. It’s such a neat place and the tree is a beautiful background.

After spending time there I walked around the area, taking pictures of the various Christmas decorations:

I attempted to go in the Magnolia Bakery, but it was hugely crowded, plus a bride and groom were taking pictures in there. Not exactly what I wanted to watch while standing in line. But I’m happy for them. Whoever they were.

I spent some time browsing the Metropolitan Museum of Art store. I love that place. I can kill a good hour looking at all of the cool things they have.
I bought some Christmas cards, only to later realize that my address book is back in Houston. So if you don’t get a card from me, that’s because your address is down south this year.
Sorry.

I walked home after that and worked on a few things in the apartment. Then Daughter #3 and I went to a small group dinner/Christmas party with our church group. I hadn’t planned on going, but I figured it was a much better idea than sitting home alone tonight.
And it was. I’m glad I went.

It’s now after midnight here, so one more year down.
It wasn’t a difficult day, but I did feel wistful …… and sad at times.
I know that’s par for the course.

I miss that man.
And though I’m where I want to be and life is good …… I always will.
Always.

Life Goes On ……

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…… as does blogging.

Sometimes it starts with a new place. As it has with me. And this blog.

I’ve moved from Texas to New York. If anyone would’ve told me 5 years ago that I’d be living here, in NYC, on my own, I would’ve told them that they were crazy. After Jim died, I knew that I would never leave Texas, never leave our community. It’s funny how time changes things. And people. Some for worse. And some for better. I’ve been through both. On many levels. But now, in my second Part A, I’m seeing mostly better.

So I’m living in NY. Mostly. I still have a home in Texas and so I have to go back there periodically. But I don’t stay long. I don’t miss much about Texas. It’s a very bittersweet place for me now. My husband and I lived there for 16 1/2 years. And it was mostly wonderful. I never wanted to live in Texas. In fact, I told him that I would live almost anywhere, but not there. God has a big sense of humor, does He not?

Not long after telling Jim that I wouldn’t live in Texas, he was transferred there. And so we moved. And I hated it. Hugely. For the first year. It took me that long to know that everything would be ok. One full year. That would later be a guide for me. The “one full year” ruler. If I could survive for a full year, then I knew I’d be ok. Not that I used that ruler after Jim died. I knew better than that. I wasn’t foolish enough to believe that I’d be ok after only a year. No way. No how. It took more like five.

And here I am …… almost six years out, and I’m ok. In fact, I’m more than ok. I’m really living. And living as fully as I can. Jim would be very proud. I know I am. Not that life is perfect. No life is. These past 6 years have taken a toll on me, my children and our family. But it was what it was. And it is what it is. Children are still growing up. And maturing. Sometimes that’s a very, very hard road. For everyone involved. Add to that a dead parent, and the road is almost impossible to traverse. I know this much …… it’s impossible to come out of it unchanged.

I am changed. My children are changed. Our family is changed. I never saw any of this coming. I never pictured our family looking the way it looks today. Thankfully. But it is our family. For good and for bad. It’s my family.

So again, here I am in NY. And I love it. Very, very much. I’m starting the second part of my life here. I don’t know how long I’ll live here. Or if I’ll ever live here full time. But I do know, that for now …… right now …… it’s where I want to be. This city has been described as resilient, energetic and optimistic. So it’s the right place for me. Because now …… 6 years later …… so am I.

🙂

	mysecondplana on 18 ……
	mysecondplana on 18 ……
	Cindy Trammell on 18 ……
	Saundra on 18 ……
	Lorraine on The Lack of Touch ……

My Second Plan A

After my first Plan A ended tragically, and all too soon, I came up with my second Plan A. It took a while, but now I'm ready to live again. And live fully.