Tag Archives: life after loss

I Know They Don’t Mean to ……

…… but people can be SO freakin’ insensitive.

Thursday night I went to see this show:

It was cute and fun …… but my heart just wasn’t in it. My sweet friend, Amy had just lost her beautiful 15 year old son. I hadn’t even wanted to leave the apartment, but figured it would be good to get out.
A woman behind me whistled and shouted out during the entire show. The show was ok, but it certainly isn’t even in my top 20. And it was not whistle-worthy, let alone shouting-appropriate.
During intermission she was standing in the aisle, next to my seat, carrying on about what a terrific show it was and what a great time she was having. I was reading the Playbill when she suddenly leaned over, very close to my face and asked, rather pointedly, “Are YOU having a good time?”. I knew that she asked because I wasn’t carrying on and on about it, nor overly clapping.
For about a second I debated on telling her, “A friend of mine lost her son tonight, so NO, I’m not having a particularly good time, thank you.”

But I didn’t. She was clueless. But she also needs to stop and think before she does something like that.
We never know what the person next to us, or in front of us, is going through. We have no right to question their enthusiasm, or any other emotion.
We just need to stop.
And think.

In other news …… it is flippin’ cold here!! It got down to 17 degrees early this morning. It was so cold that I didn’t need to sleep with my window open and it was still 67 degrees in my bedroom when I got up.
So, for one of the first times ever …… I turned the heat on in there.
It’s that cold.

Tomorrow I’m taking Gracie in to get her first grooming. I’m really hoping that she still looks like a precious puppy when I pick her up. I don’t want a “grownup cut” on her … just a trim.
It’s also the first time I’ll be leaving her somewhere, although it’s only 2 hours or so.
I wonder if they’ll have to give her a sedative?
Or maybe me?
🙂

On Wednesday I’m leaving for Tampa and Camp Widow West. It’ll be nice to see everyone, especially friends whom I haven’t seen in too long.

I’d like to say that I’m looking forward to going, but my heart is hurting. When that happens it’s hard to “look forward” to much of anything.
I wish that I could go to Texas and be there for the funeral. I know that my friend won’t really know if I’m there or not, but it feels like I should go.
I checked flights this morning and the news wasn’t great. There’s another storm heading this way so I could very well end up stuck there, when I’m supposed to be leaving from NY on Wednesday.
Finding that out made me cry.
So for the next few days, my body will be in NY, but my heart will most definitely be in Texas.

There are so very many things I don’t understand. Like how a person can seem perfectly fine one minute, and then die a day later from bacterial meningitis, or an aortic dissection.
And why truly good people die, people who would’ve made such a positive impact in our world, while truly evil people live.

But even though I know that I’ll never understand those things, and many more, I will trust God.
I know that He’s led me to this point in my life.
I know that He has a plan for me, even though I sometimes think that this plan sucks.
I don’t have to understand everything, but I’m allowed to question. I’m allowed to cry, scream, and beat my fists upon the floor.
I’m allowed to be human.

And I know, that even in my humanity …… no, because of my humanity, my Father loves me unconditionally.
And that love has been with me in very dark caves, and through the Valley of Death.
I know that it will be with me as long as I live …… and after.

Even those days, like today, when I question Him.

We Survived ……

Picture ……

15 Replies

…… catch up.

Here are my pics from December. If you hated going to your Aunt Mildred’s house and looking at her vacation pictures from the Ozarks, you’d best skip this post.
Don’t say you weren’t warned.

I’m going to post most of these without comments because …… well, I have a high regard for your level of intelligence.
Mostly.

This is Gracie sleeping next to my stuffed raccoon (I love you, Angel!). As you’ll see later, she has a love/hate relationship with it.

These pictures are from an old inn/restaurant the women’s club went to the day we went to Goodspeed Theatre to see “Holiday Inn”. I thought it was a very cool place.

A few of the houses in town:

On the way home we watched the movie on the bus. 🙂

This was a protest after the police were cleared for killing Eric Garner. It got bigger as it approached Columbus Circle. Had I known about it earlier I would’ve joined them.

See? Love/hate. She didn’t know that I was in the room:

“What, me? Nothing. Nothing at all, why do you ask?”

My friend, Lisa, came for a visit. She’s just a wee bit in love with Gracie. She seems to have that effect on people. 🙂

One of her very favorite toys …… a pooper scooper (UN-used!). She loves to show it who’s boss.

This is what she wears when I take her out in the cold:

This was Sting’s show, and he was in it. It was just kind of “eh”, but it was cool to see/hear him.

BTW, that’s him in front.

And that’s him left of the red head. Your left, not his.

This was a 1,000 piece puzzle that Daughter #3’s boyfriend and I put together. Cool!

Our first snow!

First haircut. She absolutely LOVED it! (Can you see the sarcasm actually dripping here?)

Waiting for the elevator before a walk.

I have no idea what she did to earn that. Or how she stole it.

Another trip to a vet, this time here in NY. She got another antibiotic and FINALLY beat that kennel cough.

I gated the tree to keep her away from the pine needles …… because she’s more goat than dog. It ended up being essential to keep her from eating the presents.

Daughter #3 multi-tasking with two babies.

Son #2 playing with Little Bit.

My favorite picture from the entire holiday:

Haircut #2 with a real electric razor. She loved this experience JUST as much as the first.

Doggie jail. And her, trying to eat her way out. Fierce AND part goat.

The Museum of Natural History:

A cool-looking fire station:

The morning I left for California this was the temperature. That night it got down to 9. Degrees.

Daughter #3 sent me this picture of Gracie in her lap, with the caption, “How long till my mom comes home?”

A belated Christmas present.

Columbus Circle

Pooped at the end of a typical day:

Heat escapes from the head, right? 🙂

In a mall. See, it’s not just me.

That’s all of the pics.
For now anyway.
If you’re still with me …… you should find a good book.
Seriously.

OK, I need some advice. So don’t start that book quite yet.
Gracie has a serious case of separation anxiety. It’s really bad. She seemed to be getting better before I went to California and now it’s worse than ever …… and I came back!! I thought they were supposed to feel better when you do that.
Now I can’t leave a room without her right at, or on, my heels. Or whining if she can’t jump down to follow me.
I haven’t gone out as much on this trip because she screams when I leave the apartment. And I do mean scream. It’s ear-piercing.
How do I get her over this? Is there a magic pill or injection for it?! (Notice that I didn’t say “bullet”).
OK, I know there’s no pill or injection, I was joking (and I still didn’t say “bullet”).
If you’ve experienced this, or know someone who has, please give me some advice.

And, on a completely unrelated topic …… getting older sucks.
Remember how I used to have so much trouble with my right shoulder, until I had surgery?
Well, now my left one is hurting like a …… let’s just say it’s very painful.
And here’s the thing: I didn’t do ANYTHING to injure it!! Except for sleep on that side.
No kidding. One night while I was sleeping (I’m a side sleeper but I switch from one to the other throughout the night. Yeah, I am SO well-rested every morning. Dang, there’s that dripping sarcasm again!), it started throbbing. And it hasn’t stopped since.
So I haven’t been able to go to a barre class or play tennis since December, before the stupid sciatica hit me. And we just got up a group of women to play tennis each week.

I’d like to scream but I don’t think it would do much for Gracie’s anxiety.
Or help my shoulder.

Well, it’s time for me to get ready to walk down to Times Square. I’m going to see “On the Town”.
After taking something that’ll help my shoulder withstand carrying a purse, which only has a wallet and a water bottle in it.
And, hoping that the show is entertaining enough to off set the complaints that might be filed due to the blood-curdling screams that’ll be coming from my apartment.
Wish me luck.
🙂

So ……

1 Reply

…… Christmas was good.
Really good.
And though you might not believe it, most of the time you would’ve been hard pressed to know that there were 9 people, a baby and a puppy in the apartment!
In fact, there were a couple of times when one of us noted how quiet/empty the apartment was.
That’s NY for you, Baby!!!
So much to do and see that your apartment doesn’t get cramped.
🙂

All of the kids made it safely.
Son #3 had a slight hiccup with United Airlines and ended up spending in the night in the Dulles Airport. After which he informed me in no uncertain terms that he in now done with that airline.
I didn’t pay too much attention.
I couldn’t blame him, but I still didn’t pay much attention.

Which made him all the more happier when, on his way home, his flight out of here was delayed/cancelled because the pilot didn’t show up for his shift that day.
To that I have to say this: Karma is a bitch, man.
🙂

It all worked out in the end. After several hours the found someone else and he did end up making his connecting flight out of Chicago to Oklahoma, so all’s right with the world.
As long as I don’t book him on United ever, ever again.
I told him that as soon as he had enough cash to buy his own airline tickets he could buy whatever he wanted, but until then, I would continue to go with the best deal.
Then he said, “Fine, I’ll start buying my own.”
Which makes one (or maybe just me) ponder: Where does he think that money will come from? Will it float down from heaven? Will he sell even more plasma??
Oh well, it’s grand to be 20 and oh-so-wise-to-the-ways-of-the-world.

Little Bit did pretty well, for a three old that was totally out of his element. He was a bit fussy at times but he was also chatty and laughing a good deal of the time. He’s such a joy to hold and talk to, especially early in the morning, which seems to be his favorite time.

The kid is growing by leaps and bounds. I think there may have been some items I purchased a few weeks ago that he never got to wear because he’s suddenly busting out!!
But that gives me a good reason to go baby-clothes shopping, so whoop!!!!
He did a great job on the planes and gave his mama some stress-free flight time. I was happy for both of them.

Gracie is doing well and still has my heart wrapped around her little stump of a tail. Mostly.
I’ve got to find out out to train her to stop nipping at everyone with fingers. Especially her two year old friend that Daughter #3 takes care of. He LOVES Gracie and she loves him back with equal abandonment, but she just can’t control her “love bites”.
Help.

OK, I’m going to end this now so that I can go to bed. I’ll go ahead a publish it, but I’m hoping to come back to it and add pictures and stories in the next day or so.
So please ignore all typos.
Please.

Happy New Year, Peeps!

Why Do I Always Forget ……

3 Replies

…… that I don’t really care for this day?

I’m not sure if I’ve ever written about it. I certainly haven’t spent much time thinking about it. But yet when I look back, this day has traditionally been a difficult day to get through.
At least for the last 7 years.

I think it gets forgotten in the shadows of the December days. Maybe I’m always so focused on getting through those that I totally forget about this one.

It should be a good day. A day of hope. A day of new beginnings. A day of promises.
It should be.
That’s what I’m told.

Good Christians shouldn’t be depressed on New Year’s Day, right?
We should keep those sad thoughts out and focus on being positive.
And shame on us if we don’t.

So shame on me …… because I don’t.
And I’m not going to pretend otherwise.
Funny …… I think God understands.

Yes, my life is mostly good.
Yes, I am mostly happy.
Yes, all of my children are healthy.
Yes, I get to live in New York.
Yes, it’s been seven years since Jim died.
Yes, I know I’m not alone.

But loneliness can sneak its way in …… even when you’re not alone.
Even among a room full of people.
Sometimes especially in a room full of people.

Another year of being one.
Which isn’t always bad.
But many times feels that way.

Of course, it doesn’t help that this apartment went from the hustle and bustle of about 7 to 10 people, to just me and the puppy today.
The hardest part of all that …… was saying goodbye to Daughter #2 and Little Bit this morning.
It was the hardest because it was probably the last time I’ll see him. The last time I’ll hold him.
The last time I’ll see him break into a smile when he sees my face.
I hate good byes.

Daughter #2 still has more time with him. How much time is unknown, but probably not a lot. So I worry about her and my heart breaks for the good bye she’ll have to face.

When you love someone …… there will be pain.
But the depth and breadth of that love …… makes the pain worth it.
I would certainly do it all over again …… knowing the outcome would be the same.
And I have no doubt that Daughter #2 would do it all again. In fact, she will be doing it all again. Over and over, most likely.
She has an abundance of love to give.

It was very quiet around here today.
Too quiet.
So I decided to make myself get out and be distracted.
Which is difficult to do because it means leaving behind a screaming puppy.
And I do mean screaming.

It’s so much easier to just stay in and do nothing when I’m feeling depressed. And I struggled with it today. But I knew that I really had to get out of this apartment, or I’d just sit and cry all day thinking about the way things should’ve been.
And thinking about Jim’s birthday that’s coming up on Wednesday. And how he’ll never be a day older than 47.
Which makes me sad and pisses me off all at the same time.
Thankfully I’m flying to California that day so that’ll be somewhat of a distraction.

Oh, that reminds me …… I got distracted from telling you what my distraction was today.
I know you’re shocked.
I went to see “Into the Woods”.
I liked it very much.
I wish it could’ve ended 40 minutes earlier than it did …… but I still liked it.
Meryl Streep is a hoot.
I know you’re shocked again.

The movie helped.
I’m not feeling as down as I was.
I’m glad that I forced myself to get out.
Screaming puppy and all.
My neighbors? Probably not so much.

Hopefully I’ll remember ahead of time that this day just isn’t the greatest. And I’ll schedule some distractions in advance.

I may need a reminder to remember.
The trouble is …… most of my friends would need a reminder to remind me.
Sigh ……
🙂

Lights in the Dark ……

13 Replies

…… can light up anyone’s face.

Last night I went to Brooklyn with several women from the Manhattan Women’s Club (remember, not as fancy/snobby as it sounds, I promise). We went to look at Christmas lights in Dyker Heights. Don’t worry, I’d never heard of it either, but wow! Check it out here.

Here are some pictures:

One of the neat things about all of those lights, aside from the fact that I don’t have to pay those electric bills, is the look on people’s faces when they see each house. It’s like you can’t help but smile when you see the decorations and all of those lights.

Light dispels darkness in more ways than one.

And light comes in more ways than one.

Today my Facebook page has been a huge light on what could be a dark day.
So has my cell phone.
The comments and texts today have been so full of love and support that I’ve been speechless, which of course is no easy feat.

I hadn’t expected so many people to post on my page.
I hadn’t expected all of the loving and kind words.
I hadn’t expected so much light.

Seven years.
Seven sometimes-very-slow-years.
Seven sometimes-faster-than-the-speed-of-light-years.
Or so it seems.

Seven years that I never want to re-live.
Ever.

I’m thankful to be on this side of that valley.
The voyage out wasn’t pretty …… to put it mildly.
It was bloody, and messy and ugly.
It was horrible.
And it took a long time.
But it’s good to be out.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments.
I’ll always have moments.
And I’m ok with that.
Because moments are sure better than that valley.

So to all of you who gave me light today …… thank you. From the bottom of my heart …… thank you.
You helped make this day the easiest one yet.
I love you.
Each one of you.
More than I can say.

Thank you for filling my day with light.
And thank you for filling my heart with love.
I.
Am.
Blessed.
❤

Contrary to Popular Belief ……

12 Replies

…… for at least some people, the 7 (seven) year mark does not mean that I am all better.
That I am healed. That I am over the loss of the other half of me.
That tears do not come now.
That I no longer miss him.

When I think about that last non-friend who posted how I should no longer be mourning Jim, I want to scream. It didn’t affect me like that at the time. I just felt sorry for her.
But now, NOW it pisses me off.
Because who the the hell does she think she is, that she can tell me, ME, the one who had Jim ripped out of her life and her children’s lives, how I’m supposed to feel now. I’d like to punch her in the face right now.
Tonight.
And probably for the next few weeks.

This is the hard time.
Yes, it’s much easier here in NY. SO much easier. But that doesn’t mean that it’s painless. Because it’s not. I still miss him. And I still cry when I type that. Every damn time.

My life is good.
I am happy.
I’m content.
I feel joy.

But I also feel loss.
I feel the hole left in my heart.
I miss him more than I can say.

And I don’t expect that to ever change.
This time of the year will always bring joy and sorrow to my family.
It is what it is.

I loved him with all of my being.
I still love him.
I will always love him.

I never took him for granted.
I knew that I was blessed.
And, truthfully, I never thought for one second, that I deserved him.
I thanked God for him on a daily basis.

And though I didn’t feel worthy, God blessed me with him.

So …… when it comes to thinking of another love …… I doubt very much that that will happen.
Because I know I’m not worthy of two great loves in one life.
You may think differently, but that’s what’s ingrained into my brain. Into the very fiber of my being. I will never have another love as true and as wonderful as Jim.
And really …… I’m mostly ok with that. Because I had a love and a relationship that very few people have.
Which makes me sad. For those people.
But at least I had it.

I can’t expect it to happen again.
So I don’t.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t long for it to happen again.
But I guess I’m a realist. If I was so blessed to have it once, it’s not very likely that I’ll find it again.

Part of me is ok with that. I like doing what I want to do, when I want to do it. I like having all of the closet space. I like having a pretty clean garage.
I like my independence.

But I’d also like to have love and security in my life. The kind of security that comes from having someone who has your back, no matter what.
I miss that.
I miss holding his hand.
I miss falling asleep next to him.
I miss catching his eye from across a room, and feeling the warmth that came with that look.

I miss the family that we had.
Things would be so different if he were still here.
So much better.
But …… it is what it is.
So I try to make it better.
As much as I can.
I don’t have as much power as I wish I had.

So …… that’s all.
I’m happy.
And I’m sad.

I’m content.
And I wish I weren’t alone.

I have a great life.
But I wish I had love.

It is what it is.

Just as it is with everyone else in the world.

By The Light ……

12 Replies

…… of the silvery tree ……

OK, it’s not silvery, but then it’s not a moon, either.

I’m sitting in my dark living room …… which really isn’t dark because the lights on the Christmas tree are twinkling and dancing and preventing the room from really being dark.

I haven’t truly enjoyed sitting in the almost-dark, looking at the tree, for several years now.
But this year, I feel differently.

This was one of Jim’s favorite things about this time of year. After all of the kids were in bed, and after we had turned all of the lights out and were headed to bed, he’d ask me to come and sit in the living room with him …… to just sit and look at the tree …… and the lights.

I can’t see the lights, and not think of him.
I miss sitting on the sofa, his arm wrapped around me, my head on his shoulder.
I miss the silence that actually said so much.

But I’m thankful that I can now sit and enjoy the lights …… and the silence that still says so much.
It says different things now, but I can sit with it …… and be ok.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t miss him.
That doesn’t mean that I’m ok with him being dead.
It just means that I’m ok with enjoying things again …… and enjoying the memories of him.

It’s definitely easier to enjoy this time of year here in New York.
And for that I’m very, very grateful.
There are no memories here, except for the ones I’ve made in my “after”.
I hope that my children feel the same way.

This time of year is a bitch to go through.
In eleven days we’ll hit the seven year mark.
Which, as always, is unbelievable.
But it comes, whether we believe it or not.
Time is kind of relentless like that.

But it’s also nice to be able to sit with the memories.
Instead of being overwhelmed with them.
It’s nice to be able to smile with the remembering.
Instead of being wracked with sobs.

I hope that those of you who can …… will take the time to sit with your loved one …… and enjoy the lights on the tree. And the silence …… that says so much.

And I hope that those of you who can’t …… will be able to sit and enjoy the memories.
❤

It’s Winter’s Eve ……

4 Replies

…… here in NYC.
Or at least, here in my neighborhood.

There was a huge (supposedly the largest in the City) Holiday celebration in and around Lincoln Center and Columbus Circle.
There were tents set up from various local restaurants, bakeries, stores, etc.
I didn’t notice this last year …… and I’m thinking that I must’ve been away that night because there was no way to NOT know about it from inside my apartment.
There were bands playing all around, people singing, dancing and just plain noisily celebrating.
It was great.

This guy was on stilts. Very high stilts. Several people were walking around on them, engaging small children in games of “Catch the Christmas Ball”.
I may, or may not, have just made that up. I have no idea what they were doing, other than throwing a glowing ball and having the kids run for it and bring it back.
Like “Fetch”.
Mostly.

This guy was making an ice sculpture of a nutcracker:

He’s pretty dang good, is he not?

So …… I have to admit …… I have no idea why they call it Winter’s Eve. Winter doesn’t start tomorrow. It starts on December 21st.
Maybe they just mean the eve of winter in general …… the winter season, as it were.
Are you as excited about this topic as I am?
That’s what I thought.
Moving along ……

Gracie and I flew here today. She did pretty well on the plane. She whined but at least she didn’t scream. Her screams are ear-piercing, and I’m quite certain that if she were to start up with that …… we’d both be escorted off of the plane.

So far, so good.

I came home from the lake on Saturday. Everyone else headed home, too.
Son #3 picked his car up from the shop and drove to Dallas to visit a friend.
His car needed a side mirror replaced, all fluids topped off, an oil change, 2 new tires, and some cosmetic work inside.

A few hours after he left I received a text from him with this picture attached:

Yes …… it’s a tire iron.
It came flying off of a semi.
And launched itself here:

Karma can be a real bitch.
Or at least, trucks that don’t have things locked down can.

Of course he wasn’t able to get any info off of the truck. I’m guessing that he was so stunned by the noise that he was lucky to not have a wreck.
I’m thankful that he’s ok.
And hopeful that the damage is just cosmetic and not further beneath.
Life.
So.
Much.
Fun.

Speaking of fun …… my Christmas tree was delivered today.

Last year it wasn’t in a box. But I think this tree is a lot nicer than the one I got last year. Both of them were Groupon purchases.
Sometimes, Groupon totally rocks.

I pulled out all of my Christmas decorations after we set up the tree:
(When I say “we” I mean Daughter #1 and K. They came to spend a day or two here since they didn’t get to see us for Thanksgiving. 🙂 )

That’s the box that contains all of them.
ALL.
That makes me grin.

Here’s how the tree looks now:

I think it looks great and smells even better!

My friend Lisa is flying in tomorrow. She’s never spent time in NY so we’re going to have a blast.
And she’ll return home FULL of Christmas spirit.
As long as the cold weather comes back where it belongs. It was in the high 60’s today when I landed. I was not a happy camper. I’m sick of warm weather.
Thankfully, it rained some tonight and the temps fell about 20 degrees in 2 hours.
Picture me happy.
🙂

Well …… I think that’s all the news I have. Although none of this was really “news”, so much as boring story-telling.
Other than the tire iron thing …… that wasn’t boring.
For anyone.

Night all.
Stay tuned.
🙂

A Whole Lotta ……

7 Replies

…… Nothin’.

That’s what’s been going on around here.
Well, except for binge watching a few TV series. And while I enjoy Kerry Washington, I can tell you that continuous watching of Olivia Pope reveals a limited range of emotions. She seems to have three: somewhat happy, very ticked off, and very, very bossy.
I like her clothes but I’m getting awfully bored of winter white.

Anyway, the reason that my life has sunk to such a boring low as to critique a tv show character, is that I have spent the last 19 days in a lot of pain. When I went to the doctor on Friday (because isn’t it ALWAYS on a Friday?!), I thought that it had only been 10 days. I was wrong.
I left out an entire week.
Which shows you what pain tends to do to someone after several days.
Or maybe just to me.

It started on my right side, above my hip, just below my waist (or where a waist would be if I had one) and more to the back side. My right “flank”, I discovered, when I decided to google it after several days.
Yeah, like a mare.
Wonderful.

I thought that maybe I had over done it at my last barre class in NY, because it started bothering me while I was sleeping that night.
I didn’t have a point of injury, nor felt any pain as if something had happened, so I’m still not too sure where this came from.

I saw an orthopedic on Thursday and he diagnosed it as sciatica, which wasn’t a huge surprise to me, although I’ve never experienced anything like this. The pain moves every day to a different location on my right side. One day it’s below my waist. The next it’s low on my front right side. Then it’s down at the top of my back thigh. Which makes sitting down very, very painful.
As well as walking, lying down, and standing.
Walking up stairs is right out.

The dr. prescribed some steroids and anti-inflammatories. That first evening I started feeling relief and was very hopeful.
But the next morning (yesterday) the pain was back just as bad as the day before and it never really let up.
Ditto today.

This should make grocery shopping for Thanksgiving dinner very, very interesting tomorrow.
Maybe I’ll just ride one of those scooters and make 15 trips in and out of the store with that little basket.
If you see me out, please refrain from laughing too hard.

In other news, when you’re a puppy that weighs only 2 lbs …… the vet has to do things a wee bit differently:

See that box behind her? It contains mosquito/heart worm prevention meds.
For kittens.
Talk about a sock to the ego!
Not that I’ve told Gracie that. I’m going to spare her that humiliation.

She is still so cute that I’m truly worried about diabetes.
But you can judge that for yourself from the above picture and this one:

She and Son #2’s kitten are slowly becoming friends. But interestingly enough, watching them interact is kind of like watching “Groundhog Day”. They start off each morning fighting and chasing and bopping each other.
Well, the kitten does the bopping. Gracie just runs like the wind and barks.
But by the time evening comes, they’re sitting next to each other and following each other around the room.
And then they go to bed.
And we start all over again.

It’s a lot more entertaining than “90 Day Fiancee”, or “Naked and Afraid”.
Not that I know that personally.

Pain can take you to some really low places.

OK, enough.
I’m now returning to my current binge:
Benedict Cumberbatch.
In “Sherlock”.

I’m only 2 episodes in but I’m finding him thoroughly enjoyable.
Hopefully he won’t pull a Kerry Washington on me.
There’s only so much winter white a person can stand.

	mysecondplana on 18 ……
	mysecondplana on 18 ……
	Cindy Trammell on 18 ……
	Saundra on 18 ……
	Lorraine on The Lack of Touch ……

My Second Plan A

After my first Plan A ended tragically, and all too soon, I came up with my second Plan A. It took a while, but now I'm ready to live again. And live fully.