…… that’s all.
No, that’s not true.
Here’s what I want to say:
Damn it to hell!
That’s the worst I can think of without using the F word.
Just damn it all to hell.
What, you may ask, caused this kind of reaction?
Well, I’ll tell you.
And so painful and loving and amazing and lonely.
And …… something so ordinary.
I miss him.
Oh my God, I miss him.
I want him to be here.
I’m tired of being here without him.
No matter where I am ……
No matter what city I live in ……
No matter how busy I keep myself ……
He should be here.
Daughter #3 is planning her wedding.
Which will be here in less than 5 months.
I am so thrilled and excited and happy for her.
And for him.
Jim should be here.
He should be here to laugh with me about the angst and stress and wonderfulness of the plans they are making.
He should be here to agree with me that we couldn’t be more happy with the new addition of Son #4.
He should be here to help me help her.
Damn it all to hell.