I Am Issuing a Class Action ……


…… apology.

Sorry to any of you who thought you might be due some money.
No such luck.

But you do get an apology.
A profuse apology.

But only to those of you who’ve uttered the words, “But it’s a dry heat.”
Because if you’ve said that …… I’ve made fun of you.
Maybe not you directly, but in general to anyone who’s ever said that.
Thus the class action.

When I’ve heard those words my response has always been, “Oh, whatever! One hundred and ten degrees is one hundred and ten degrees, dry or humid!”

I humbly ask for your forgiveness.

In my defense, I will tell you that I have never, ever lived in a “dry” place …… until now.

I’m from Oregon. Left when I was a toddler so I don’t remember much. Moved back for a year when I was 8, but still don’t remember much. However …… it’s Oregon. So the word “dry” has no application.

I grew up in Tulsa, Oklahoma. “Not dry?”, you may ask? No. It’s not. Because it sits against the Arkansas River. Not as humid as some cities, to be sure, but not dry at all.

Then we moved to Chicago.
Another river.
Need I say more?

And then …… we moved to the mother load of humidity …… Houston, Texas.
You definitely don’t have to worry about dry skin, but you also can’t imagine the fires of hell being worse than August in Houston.

And then there’s New York.
Manhattan, if you will.
An island.
Which means there’s water all around.
Water all around=HUMIDITY!!
It never feels as bad as Houston, but there’s still humidity in the summer.

But now …… now I have a home in Waco, Texas.
If you’d have asked me two years ago if I’d ever be living in Waco I would’ve told you that you were insane.
Because really?
But I have to tell you …… the high today was 99.
NINETY NINE!!! One degree short of 100!!
Yet I could’ve easily played two set of tennis this afternoon.
Because it’s a “dry heat”.

I’m here to tell all of you who live in the humid hells that a dry heat is the best heat in which to live.
Move, if you can.
Get the hell out of the humidity.
Run away.
Escape to the dryness.

You’ll thank me in the end.

5 thoughts on “I Am Issuing a Class Action ……

  1. Mary

    And so you may ask why we moved from Colorado to Houston Texas. Only God could make us move!!! I am so glad you ar enjoying Waco!!!

    1. mysecondplana Post author

      Oh. My. Word.
      From Colorado to Houston?!!!!!!!
      My condolences.
      Of course, if this is God’s plan for you then hopefully the joy will outweigh the humidity!

  2. Shelly

    YES! Everybody move to Waco! Call me when you do! Lol! I seriously make my bestie, who lives in West Columbia SOUTH OF HOUSTON-therefore way more humid and painfully hot, visit me in Waco because my hair just doesn’t do well in that level of humidity! You think I’m kidding…I’m not!

  3. Chris, who lurks

    Sure a “dry heat” Sounds wonderful…until you live in AZ! (Thankfully we are now back in California where we belong) But our 7 years there proved to us there is a good reason people follow up “but it’s a dry heat with….so is an oven!” They day we left (finally) was 118. I love the heat. I love the sun. I love summer. I had thought, “how different can it be to move 4 hours away to the Phoenix area?” Uh huh. The “how different” could be 1000 word essay, but in this case let me say- when it’s that hot (which it is much of the summer) you can’t run outside barefoot like this California girl had done her entire life because you burn your feet. Forget opening the windows at night to cool off the house (again something we did my entire life throughout California) because cooling off means it might get down to 95. Every building you enter will have the AC blasting at 60 so outside you wear as little as humanly possible but if you’re going inside you better take a sweater….in July. I really don’t miss AZ except for about 3 restaurants. LOL


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