…… it’s difficult to tell others that you feel sad.
Or depressed.
Or unhappy.
But there you go.
It happens.
And probably not just to me.
I know that I am blessed.
In so many ways.
I had a great time with Daughter #2, Little Man, Daughter #3 and her hubby, AKA Son #4.
It was wonderful to have them here.
And all of the over 200 birthday wishes made me feel special.
Very special.
But the next morning D#3 and S#4 flew back to Texas (D#2 and Little Man flew back the day before).
And I felt incredibly sad.
And depressed.
Even though I know that I am blessed.
Being blessed doesn’t mean that you stop missing him.
Being blessed doesn’t mean that you stop missing your “before” life.
Being blessed doesn’t mean that you enjoy being alone …… all of the time.
It just means that you feel bad about admitting those things.
My Second Plan A 
Janine! This is exactly what I needed to read today! I’m feeling all kinds of blessed and depressed today! Today marks 10 years that my daddy went to Heaven and while I know I’m incredibly blessed to have had him for 30+ years I’m feeling really depressed that I didn’t get to have him longer. Your words always make me think about things in a different way. Thank you! Now hurry back to Texas so we can go fishing!
Shelly …. you always make me smile. I think I love you. ❤
And I’m so sorry about what this day means for you.
Boy, that really spoke to me! I have great kids, their others, six grandkids and a tribe of friends. Yes, I know I’m wonderfully blessed….so why the heck do I feel like I’m walking in quicksand so often? So you add guilt at feeling depressed and alone when you ARE blessed to the guilt at being the one still alive, and well, you are swimming for your life in guilt soup. Thank you for saying so often what we all feel right below the surface….
I think it’s important to remember you don’t ever have to *earn* your feelings or *justify* your feelings. They are yours to have no matter the amount of blessings you may be currently blessed with. Your life could suck, you could win Powerball. Your loss could have been last year or twenty-three years ago. You are sad. You are depressed. You are unhappy. Now, how can the people who love you help you?
I get it. I am blessed for so much…but missing my Don hasn’t made that any better. I have my daughters, my grandsons, my friends…and I don’t have to worry about money (but I do have to be careful) but nothing is the same without Don by my side, helping me make decisions, holding me, telling me it will all be okay… there are blessings, and then there are blessings…
Janine, I feel this way… Every.single. Day!! I am so blessed to have my daughter and my grandchildren with me every day… I couldn’t live without them. But the reason they are here cuts me to the bone… Every.single.day!!! It’s been almost 4 years and I still wait for him to come home. Not sure the grief ever ends!
Yes to all of this. Blessed but still sad and missing my parents, my brother and those others that are no longer here. Best to you!