I Really Am Happy ……

…… but it’s always a happiness tinged with some sadness.
Always.
I certainly don’t choose to have that sadness there.
I don’t invite it in.
I don’t even think about it sometimes.
It just appears.

I leave for NY tomorrow morning.
And I’m more than ready to get back there.
And not only because I’m going to be in the audience (AND the after party!) of SNL Saturday night (WHOOP!!!).
But I’ve been away too long.
It’s time to go back.
Even if it’s only for a couple of weeks.

I close on the Waco house at the end of this month.
I’m excited about that house.
I look forward to living in it.
But yet ……
There’s sadness.

I love my Kingwood house.
I haven’t lived in it as long as I thought I would.
It’s a great house.
I’ll miss it.

I’ve lived in Kingwood for almost 25 years.
Almost eight and half years without Jim.
It’s time to leave.
Which makes me happy …… and yet makes me sad.
So many mixed feelings.

I miss him.
Still.
Always.
Forever.

Life moves forward.
In spite of him not being here.
Things change.
Homes are sold.
Houses are bought.
Children grow up.
They get married.
They have children.
In spite of him not being here.
Happiness tinged with sadness.
Always.

In other news …… kind of …… I received a check in the mail a couple of days ago.
It was for $5,000.00. From the people who bought the lake house.
Surprise, surprise.
And since they sent it …… I guess I won’t publish their names here.
Sorry.
You know I’d love to.
But I’m taking the high road.
🙂

So I’ll see you from New York.
Be sure to watch SNL Saturday night.
Not because you’ll see me in the audience.
But so we can exchange notes afterwards.
And so you can find out if I stayed awake to join the after party at 1:00 a.m.
Care to place a bet?

3 thoughts on “I Really Am Happy ……

  1. Shelly

    SNL? Wow! So fun! I’m so happy that you’re going to be my neighbor in the 254 (I think that’s what people on the cool side of Sonic call WACO). I’ve become a huge fan of your blog and also of you. I’ve read through all of it and the one before. I’ve laughed and I’ve cried. It’s really opened my eyes to how my mom has probably felt the past 9 years after my daddy passed away. You’re right…life moves on-so quickly for me watching my babies grow-but probably much slower for my mom. I’m sure she has felt many of the same feelings you’ve described here. Thank you, Janine! You have opened my eyes on how to love my mama more than I already do-in a different way. You’ve also shown me that I need to slow down and enjoy the mundane things that I often don’t appreciate. I hope when our realtor/client relationship closes, we can still hang out and grab a cherry limeade together…but only if we can get a spot on the “cool side”.
    XOXO,
    Shelly

    Reply

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