source
                                                                       

…… is trying to kill me.
Seriously.

Last night I drove downtown to meet up with a fellow widowed friend who’s in town for business (Hi M!).
I made it downtown with no problems, but that was only because I completely ignored the directions I was being given.
The GPS told me to get off of the highway about 10 miles before my destination. Which kind of surprised me. Thankfully, I know enough about this city to know that was NOT the way I wanted to go.

Unfortunately, I don’t know this city well enough when every other street seems to be closed due to construction.

I made it to my destination, picked up my friend and, after driving around cluelessly for a bit, happened upon a good Texas barbecue restaurant. We had a nice dinner (well, as nice as it can be at a barbecue restaurant) and enjoyed catching up. After a few hours I dropped him off at his hotel.
Then I set my GPS to “Go Home” and that’s when the trouble began.

Downtown is pretty messed up with all of the construction so, in spite of it’s earlier spectacular error, I trusted it.
That will not be happening again.

Ms. GPS (because it’s a female voice and I don’t know if she’s married) gave me 3 different routes to choose from, all of which looked pretty much the same.
I clicked on one and began my trek homeward.
I didn’t get onto a freeway for 30 minutes.
That’s because I was driving through the dregs and bowels and gangland streets of Houston.
I kid you not.

I don’t think it’s a good idea to ever drive through that area alone …… at night …… and in a new car that still has the dealer tags on.

I prayed as I approached every stop light, hoping that they would turn green before I had to stop. Thankfully, I only had to stop twice.
At the first stop someone pulled up next to me. Like, right next to and close …… to me.
I averted my eyes and tried to look tough.
Go ahead. Laugh.
I would if I were you.
I even pretended to chew gum.
Because we all know that all criminals and women who kill chew gum.
What the what??!

I finally made it to the freeway, when I happily shut off Ms. GPS, but not until I told her what I thought of her.
I amy have called her a few names.

I don’t know what’s going on, but she definitely has it in for me.

I’m driving to Waco today.
If you never hear from me again, look for my car.
It’ll probably be with Stephen King.