I Am Done ……



…… with Facebook.
This morning I deactivated my account.
I just can’t do it anymore.

I’m tired of the negativity.
I’m saddened and angered by posts of people I think of as friends and family.
I’m disgusted by the ones who refuse to acknowledge racism as they spout it on their pages.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was a post a friend made, posting a meme from a man who said that he, as a white father, had to give his teens “The Talk”, too, so it’s no different than what parents of black and brown teens do. And therefore, it’s not a need based in race.
She agreed and said that she’d done the same thing with her children.
Many other friends “liked” it (or “loved” it).
Some commented that they, too, had done that.
They are all white.

I can’t describe the emotion that was roiling through me.
I was beyond sad that people I had considered friends would espouse this.
I was angry that people I had considered friends would outright deny the racism in our country that makes “The Talk” (to children of color) necessary.
My hands were shaking so hard that I couldn’t even type a response.
Which was probably a good thing because I needed to calm down and gather my thoughts.
I knew that if I didn’t, my words would flow fast and angrily and I wouldn’t be able to stop.
So I waited.

And then all I wrote was something like this: “As a grandmother of two little boys of color, this post makes me sad beyond belief.”
It was all I could trust myself to type.

And then …… I was asked, “Why?”

At first I thought about not responding at all.
But then I decided that no one benefits from people withholding the truth.
And so I told them why it made me sad.
And why it made me angry.
And how I wished that people could look at people through the eyes of Christ and not politics so that they could see the truth.
I explained how the real “Talk” was NOTHING like anything they had to tell their children.
And how lucky they were because of that.

Then some smart ass man decided to attack me.
And that was that.

Last night I woke up at 2 a.m., thinking about that post, the people who had liked it, the ass who had spouted off …… and realized it was ridiculous that FB was keeping me awake.
FB isn’t what it used to be.
So why was I spending energy and time on it?

And then I heard God whisper, “Let it go.”

Honestly, I have trouble letting things like that go.
I don’t always listen when God says, “Put Me first”.
But I’ve been working on that.
And so, in the middle of the night I thought, “Okay, Janine …… you’re currently doing a Bible study on discipleship and putting God first. Walk the walk and stop the talk.”

And so …… I deactivated my account first thing this morning.
Yes, I will miss keeping up with my friends and seeing baby pictures and knowing what’s going on.
But I won’t miss the negativity, the nastiness, the lies, the disinformation, the support of liars or the hurt that comes when friends show themselves for something other than I thought.

I have no idea if this is a permanent thing.
I didn’t delete the account.
I have too many pictures to save to do that!
Maybe I’ll come back.
Maybe I won’t.

Right now, I’m not thinking about that.
I’m thinking of the other things I’ll do to fill what would’ve been Facebook time.
And praying that our country is able to be saved from the path its on now.

I want us to reach out to each other instead of shutting each other down.
I want us to unite instead of divide.
I want us to love instead of hate.

I’m in no way perfect or blameless.
But I hope to be better.
I want to do better.

So, goodbye Facebook.
I’d like to say I’ll miss you.
But I won’t.

P.S. You can always find me on Instagram!

9 thoughts on “I Am Done ……

  1. Cindy Trammell

    But I’ll miss you! Why don’t you just unfriend the negative people in your life?

    Sent from my iPhone


    1. mysecondplana Post author

      Hi Cindy! I did think about just unfriending people, but that would take more energy and time that I just don’t want to give right now. I just needed to walk away. It may not be for very long. But you can also find me on Instagram. 🙂

    1. mysecondplana Post author

      Hi Glenda,
      So far I haven’t blocked or deleted. I’ve “unfollowed” so that I don’t always see those posts, but the whole atmosphere is pretty crappy right now. You’re right …… they are everywhere.

  2. malinnsaxemecom

    I only do Facebook or Instagram as a means of staying connected to friend’s grandchildren, knowing what is going on in friend’s lives that I do not see anymore – but I genuinely CARE about them and their lives. I’ll even think of someone from 20 years ago – and wonder how they are, and that I wish they were on FB or Instagram. Janine – could the joy you get from those moments allow you to ignore the others? I, for one, will miss you! But I also know that many of my “friends” on FB probably do not have all of the same beliefs that I do – spiritually, politically, and I just do not comment to anything that goes down a divisive trail. But also want to say that my friends who are married to a person of another race, or have adopted children of another race, or grandchildren – are blessed to understand things on that subject much better than I would be! Not out of ignorance on my part, but my experiences in life have not given me the same insight.
    I love you and will miss you!

    1. mysecondplana Post author

      Hi Malinn! Don’t worry, I’ll still see you on Instagram. 🙂
      And yes, I can agree to disagree with almost everyone on almost any topic. But not all. Someone not sharing my belief system is fine. Someone being racist by denying racism is something I can’t ignore. And someone saying anything at all that challenges what my grandchildren face, or will face, is not someone I need to have in my life. Or on my social media. I just need to take a break. Thanks my friend. I love you!

  3. Frances Rubin

    It’s exhausting isn’t it? I’m so tired. And yet a little hopeful Thanks for your writings. I always look forward to them

    Warmly, Frances Rubin



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