An Invisible ……

…… woman.

I’ve discovered that’s exactly what I am.
And I don’t think I’m alone.

Before I continue I need to state that this is not a “woe is me” piece.
It is what it is.
And I think it’s probably been this way for decades.
Or longer.
At least in our society.

If you’re a male under the age of, oh …… 80, then you don’t know what I’m talking about.
And most likely, if you’re a female under a certain age (and that age is a sliding scale, depending on how much work you’ve had done, how attractive you are and any other things you do to hide the effects of getting older) then you also don’t know what I’m writing about.

But the rest of you, and you know who you are …… you get it.
Women become invisible.
And not in a good way.

I decided to let my hair grow into its natural color this year.
It’s now mostly silver.
Which is a nice way of saying grey.
I just felt like I was pretending and I was tired of that.
And also tired of the upkeep, not to mention the cost.

I know that it makes me look older.
And I’m mostly ok with that.
Or maybe I just thought I was.
Back before I realized that I’m invisible.

I’m not seen by people who walk past me.
I’m not noticed by people who stand right in front of me.
Especially if I’m next to a young, beautiful woman.
Completely unseen.

Now, I’ve never been what I consider to be beautiful.
I’ve never really stood out in that way.
And while at times I may have been wistful about that when I was younger, it really wasn’t someething that I thought a lot about.

And once I met Jim …… I never felt inviisible.
At least not to him, and that’s what counted.
I think maybe that was something that I took for granted.
Being seen.
I imagine most of us do.
No one ever told me that becoming invisible is a fact of life.
They don’t teach that in middle school health class.
Maybe they should.
Maybe we should be warned that being seen has a shelf life.
Or maybe we wouldn’t pay attention to the warning anyway.

I’m not sure what I wanted to accomplish by writing this.
Except to say that it exists.
And to make people aware.

Notice the people around you.
Take a moment to really look.
You can see them if you try.
And being seen can make a difference.

Because …… while being invisible might sound cool when you’re five ……
it kind of sucks when you’re ten times that age.

5 thoughts on “An Invisible ……

  1. Lisanne A Dickenson

    Wow. I was JUST thinking about this the other day. My Mom has said that she feels the same way…and it has also begun to happen to me too. Crazy, isn’t it?

  2. Marcus makar

    #1. You’re the best. #2. I totally know what it means. My friends, males know what it means. We’ve talked about it and been there. Age, life is what it is. I’ve been invisible a zillion times. I’ve been at events and see the invisible and engage them. Gives both of us pleasure, and I’ll learn a little from them, their experiences. Wear a huge pimp clown monkey hat mask. It helps. Make an art car. You’ve been to the parades I hope. Houston is ground zero for it. Get your chin up. It ain’t over. Bizarre, the turning points in your and my life at 48 years old. #keepstompingchili

  3. Kim

    How did you know that I feel this way?

    Completely invisible. Like you – I didn’t feel invisible in my before life. Working helps – especially in a field that is sacrificial.

    Thank you for putting into words how I feel and how I am sure so many others feel!

    And – you are NOT invisible. You are an inspiration, a leader, an encourager and a fantastic mom, friend, daughter, etc…. I see you all the time! (Wish I actually got to see you!)

  4. pdoetaydoe

    Oh my, I’ve been feeling this way a lot lately! Thank you so much for putting it into words! You are so very right.


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