Fifty six ……

…… yep, 56 …… that’s how old you’d be today …… if you were still here.
Instead …… you are forever 47.
Not fair, Jim.
Totally not fair.

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In case you’re wondering, though I don’t think that you are, I miss you.
Every single day of my life …… I miss you.

You have missed so much.
Or have you?
Do you see us?
Are you a witness to everything our kids have been through?
Do you know how far each of them has come?
If so, I know that you are bursting with pride.
For each of them.
And all that they’ve accomplished.
All while missing you.

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My life is so different now.
You’d hardly recognize it.
Or would you?
Do you see me?
Are you aware of how much has changed?
Are you proud of me?

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I hope so.
I hope that you see.
I hope that you’re here …… nearby. Watching and cheering me on.
I’m not sure if you are.
But I hope so.

When you died, most of me died.
I thought I would die.
I wished I’d die.
But here I am.
Eight years later.
Not only alive …… but living.
There’s a difference, you know.

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I’m living.
I’m joyful.
I’m happy.
I’m content.
Mostly.

There are still days.
The missing of you still brings tears.
The loving of you will never end.
Not by me.
Not by your children.
Not by anyone who truly knew you.

Thank you for loving me unconditionally.
Thank you for our children.
Thank you for striving to be a godly man.
And a loving father.
And a Christ-like husband.

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Thank you for wanting to grow old with me.
Even though you didn’t.
It’s the thought that counts.
And you are always in my thoughts.

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I love you, Jim.
Always and forever.
And I’ll see you soon.

7 thoughts on “Fifty six ……

  1. marcus makar

    Bless you dear. You’re the best, always did everything right. Bless the legendary Jim. What an ace. See you soon

    Reply
  2. Widow Strong

    Oh how this has made me cry. Eight years….. at a little over 2 years I can’t even begin to imagine 8 years.

    It is beautiful to hear that you are happy and content.

    Reply

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