Lions and Tigers and ……

…… dogs!  Oh My!!!

This post goes under the file of “Never a dull moment in my life”.
I hope you enjoy it.

Yesterday I flew from freezing-your-nose-off-in-20-minutes-New York, to Houston.
It’s cold here in Houston.
Well, cold in Houston-terms.
Which means less than 40 degrees.

Anyway, I’m going to share with you the oh-so-lovely experience I had on the plane.
I’m just going to paste and copy it from Face Book, which is where I posted it as it was happening.
Grab some cocoa (if you’re in the cold section of the U.S.), and settle in to read a post about something that could only happen to me.
And to this lovable creature:

My first post:

Ok, rudest woman EVER next to me on the plane. She looked at Gracie, then me, and said, “A dog?!” Then looked at her husband and repeated it louder. I said, “They’re allowed on planes.” And she said, “I know they are. I don’t like dogs and I’m NOT sitting next to one!” I said, “You won’t be next to one, she’s in a kennel, under the seat.”
She went up to a flight attendant and insisted they give her another seat. Her husband is sitting across the aisle from her and said that he’d sit here and she said, “That’s not the point!”
I have no idea what her point is. The flight is over sold and someone is coming on board to talk to her.
Oh, she just said she wants ME to be moved! She said, “Why should I be the one inconvenienced?!”
I’m going to go ballistic momentarily.

Yes, every word of that is true.
Within a matter of minutes I had over 30 comments on that post. By the end of the night there were 70.
To say that my friends were outraged would be an understatement.

Here’s the next post:

They basically told her to seat down and deal with it. Her husband is now sitting next to me and she’s going on and on about “she has the right to have the dog on board”, mocking the woman who told her that. She keeps saying, “What about MY rights?!”
I wish they’d just kick her off.
Excuse me, I need to order another Bloody Mary.

I never got another Bloody Mary, but I did manage to get a couple of glasses of wine. I should’ve just asked for the bottle.
This post generated over 30 comments. Many friends were hoping that I’d get placed in first class because of this trashy, classless woman.
So I posted this next:

She’s also with a teenage son.
And this is first class. She had them check to see if someone (me) had been upgraded and didn’t deserve to sit here.
I have on headphones and we’re leaving so that’s all … for now.

When we landed, I looked at my FB page and couldn’t believe all of the comments. And I broke into a huge smile as I read all of the p.o.’d comments. My friends had my back. Yes, in a virtual way, but it still felt good. Really good.
Widowed people need to know every once in a while (or more often) that they’re not alone in their feelings.
And I was clearly …… not alone.

Just landed. Her husband was also an ass. I’ll write more later …… I just wanted to say that you guys are the absolute best. Thanks for having my back. You made me smile.

I got home and went through three months of mail, got Gracie situated with food and a clean litter box (which she has mastered 100%, Whoop!!) before crashing for the night. Little did I know that there were an untold number of people waiting with baited breath for my next post.
This morning a friend posted this:

I woke up and checked fb to see if there was the “rest of the story” about the mean people and the pup. Oh my gosh woman, wake up and finish the story. I can’t handle the suspense!!

Unfortunately I hit the ground running this morning and didn’t get on the computer until almost 9:00 p.m. tonight.
I had no idea that I was leaving so many people hanging!

Here is the last post about the “incident”:

Holy moley, you people are impatient!!
So sorry that I didn’t update …. it’s 9:00 pm now and this is the first time all day I’ve been on the computer. And I haven’t unpacked my suitcases yet!!!
OK, here’s what happened next (though I should save this for a blog post!):
After the United spokeswoman told her that there were no other seats and she could switch with her husband, the woman said something nasty about Gracie. The United lady told her that the dog was beneath the seat and would stay there. Insane-lady said, “It had better stay there!”
Do you know how much I wanted to reach down, grab Gracie and throw her onto that woman’s lap?!
My love for Gracie is probably the only thing that kept me from doing that.
Her husband sat next to me. Now, in most rows of first class, there’s a small square of floor space in front of you, a larger rectangular space in the middle, and a small square of space in front of the other person.
Gracie and her kennel were in my small square place. My purse/bag was in the larger space, but not taking up all of it.
When he sat down, he looked at my bag and said, “Can you move this and put it above so that I can put my foot there?”
Now, here’s the deal: this guy was maybe 5’4″, and tubby. And that’s being kind.
There’s no way he needed any of that space for his foot, but I bent down, squished my bag to the side, and said, “There. Can you put your foot there?”, knowing full well that he could. He put his foot in the space and that was the end of that. His foot never made it to that space again. And, she leaned over after that and said, very loudly, “Do you have enough room for your feet??!!”
Picture my eyes rolling to the back of my head.
He and I never exchanged another word. As soon as we leveled off, he got up to go to the restroom. As soon as he came out, I got up to go so that he wouldn’t have to get up again to let me out. (Because I’m just that thoughtful of a traveler — even when your wife is a totally insane monster).
As soon as I left the row, Gracie started whining. I had no idea she’d be able to tell that my feet were gone, but she did. Someone else was in the restroom so I had to wait. And she got louder and louder. One of the flight attendants said, “Oh, she as separation anxiety!”, to which I replied, “Yes, she does. I’m trying to hurry.” I was probably out of my seat for a total of 2 – 3 minutes, tops. It was the fastest restroom break ever.
When I came out, he was complaining to a flight attendant, about how he was a million-mile flier and this was a terrible experience. He went on and on about how first class travel just isn’t what it used to be and how horrible it was that United really became Continental with the merger. Funny, he’s the first person I ever heard say that …. everyone else around here says that it’s too bad Continental had to become United.
Anyway …..
He went on and on for quite a while, saying they were on vacation, and it’s just too bad that most airlines don’t have a “real” first class anymore. He tries not to fly on United as much now. Lucky me to get that family on one of their few flights.
They were spending the night in Houston and flying on today …. I didn’t pay enough attention to hear where. At that point I had my headphones firmly in place and was ignoring them.
When we landed and everyone stood up, the woman behind me leaned over and said, “Where’s the dog?”. I pointed under the seat in front of me. The couple across from her leaned over and asked, “Where’s the dog?” The people in front of me turned around to see the dog. It was hilarious. I picked up her kennel, put on the sling I carry her in most of time, took her OUT of the kennel and placed her in the sling. People went nuts. They were oohing and awing. Even people from a few rows back in coach. That woman had made quite a loud scene.
The woman behind me leaned over and said (English was not her first language) …
“They are both bitches!”
People came up to me as I walked through the terminal towards the luggage area and commented on Gracie and those idiotic people. It was hilarious.
I knew that Gracie would be the topic of a few car rides last night.
I could see those bozos on the opposite side of the luggage carousel, and they kept staring at me … or maybe at Gracie, but I ignored them.
So there you go. The rest of the story.
It’s no Paul Harvey story, but it’s mine.
Thank you again, all of you, for being so irate for me.
It meant a lot.

So there you go.
Never a dull moment.
I have to tell you that I really did consider taking a picture of this broad, but just didn’t care enough to do it.
Her husband seemed to be trying to calm her down and get her to be a bit quieter in the beginning, but she kept claiming that she had every reason to be upset. Her teenage son didn’t say much during the whole thing, though I did hear him say to her (once she sat next to him), “Mom, I can’t even tell that there’s a dog over there.”
She ignored him.

I’m not sure why these kind of things happen to, or around me, other than to keep all of you entertained.
And if that’s the only reason, then I’m happy to oblige.
And for all of my tennis friends out there, and you know who you are …… I’m glad that I didn’t have to go all “Hold my hoops!!!!” on her.
I totally would’ve won.

Happy Monday, Peeps.

1 thought on “Lions and Tigers and ……

  1. glenda1203

    Oh my goodness…. lady and her first class status. LMAO! Hilarious story! You ruined her trip lol… craziness… never a dull moment in first class 🙂 I know I know….


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