Home Sweet ……

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…… apartment.
Nah. It’s really Home Sweet Home.
Finally.

I’m in New York.
And so is my stuff.
The movers arrived Monday, at around 11:30 a.m. It took them approximately 2-3 hours to bring in all of the boxes/stuff.
And then I got down to business.
For the next 10 hours.

The next two days I unpacked/put away/discarded things for 16 hours. Each day.
Yesterday I got up and worked about 3 hours and finished.
All boxes had been unpacked, flattened and recycled.
Everything had been put away where it belongs …… or stuffed somewhere to be attended to at a later date.
Today was that later date.

I went through every junk drawer/basket/file, you name it …… I went through it, cleaned it out, organized it and purged.

The apartment is finally …… and totally …… done.
It.
Is.
Home.

And I feel happier than I’ve felt in almost 11 1/2 years.
I feel content.
Settled.
Accepted.
Alive.
Vibrant.
Joyful.

I am where I’m supposed to be.
It’s not where I thought I’d be 11 years ago.
But time passes.
And it sometimes changes things.
And people.
I am definitely changed.
And happy.

Yes, I still miss Jim.
Every day.
But I’m living my life.
Not our life.
And though I wish it were different ……
It’s not.
And I’m okay with that.
Because to not be okay with it would mean that I would be miserable.
He, nor I, would want that.

My kids are all good.
They’re healthy, happy, secure, successful …… and loved.
I couldn’t ask for more.

The road from there to here was long, dark, excruciatingly difficult, painful, lonely and full of potholes, unexpected detours, closures and some amazing views.

I don’t know what the future holds for me.
And that’s a good thing.
I don’t want to know.
I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to know.
I just want to live this life …… this full, active, busy, sometimes sad, most times good, challenging, never dull, always interesting and full of love life one day at a time.
That’s all.
And that’s a lot.

I’m home.
At last.

28 thoughts on “Home Sweet ……

  1. frubin1@comcast.net

    Oh my gosh thank you so much for this. I’ve followed you for two years now. My husband died two years four months ago and I stumbled upon your page on Facebook. Your words have been so helpful on this miserable journey. I’m so happy you’ve ended up in NYC. It’s my fantasy to land there as well. I’m coming there the last week of May to see some shows with my mother. Is it possible for us to meet? I’m remembering your column on seeing Katie Couric at a broadway show and you went up to her with tears in your eyes and said “thank you.” She knew exactly what you meant. I’d like to say the same to you. I’ll be there May 28-31. I’m not sure yet where we’re staying. Perhaps the Belvedere. If you have another suggestion that would be great. Congratulations on being settled. I’m so happy for you.

    Frances Rubin 713 854-5180 Houston TX

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Reply
  2. Saundra

    Gods blessings Janine. Glad you are settled and happy. Did you take a car with you?

    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  3. Debra

    I am so VERY happy for you to be in this space—physically & emotionally!
    I wish for you a MOST blessed remainder of 2018 with all of life’s presents, waiting to be unwrapped.
    Love you, Debra

    Reply
  4. Julie

    Very happy for you and glad you finally found your spot!! Hope to visit again someday. I am overdo a return trip to NY! Cheers!!

    Reply
  5. Ruth Sklut

    Your writing so often encourages me & I am greatful. Many thanks! Ruth Sklut 

    Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone

    Reply
  6. Lori Bartok

    You are such a fantastic writer. I love eveything you post, and, well, Gracie…💜💜💜

    Reply
  7. Joni Greathouse

    I’m so happy for you. Hopefully I can visit New York one day. I’d love to go to some shows. I hope enjoy your days and nights and make new friends.

    Reply

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